


Persuasion

by Thestral89



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Mild Language, Not Canon Compliant - Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Physical Abuse, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rough Sex, Sex, Situational Humiliation, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Spoilers, Triggers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:28:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 35
Words: 66,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22853971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thestral89/pseuds/Thestral89
Summary: ***Posting this story from my fanfiction account so sorry if you have already started reading it there! Its a long one so saddle up and hold on for the ride!*** SPOILERS*** What if Leia hadn't used the force to intervene during the fight on the fallen death star and Kylo got the upper hand? Poor Rey is about to find out. The dyad's relationship certainly is a strange one... This does NOT start out a love story, in fact Kylo is a pretty big jerk. But can Rey change him? Read to find out!
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 74
Kudos: 166





	1. Chapter 1

Kylo Ren stood over Rey, both of them soaked and chilled to the bone from the waves crashing around them. She panted, physically exhausted and unable to defend herself much longer. They both knew it. And she knew Kylo would use this to his advantage and she damn sure couldn't let that happen.

"We could end this right now you know," he said staring down at her, lightsaber still raised ready to fight.

"I mean look at you...you look...well quite frankly you look pathetic."

Rey wiped water from her eyes and struggled to even her breathing so she didn't look like such a victim. She knew how she must appear but she didn't care about looks at the moment. She wanted nothing more than to run her saber through this mans chest. As she made a desperate attempt to stab at him he swatted her saber away like it was nothing more than an annoying fly. She was running out of ideas and quickly. She scooted herself backwards and attempted to get to her feet, not taking her eyes off the tall man before her, struggling to keep her weapon pointed at him in a threatening manner. He laughed at her and stepped forward.

"Don't come any closer!" She swung her weapon which now seemed to weigh three times as much as normal, her arms shaking just to hold it upright.

"How can someone so weak be so useful to my rise to power?" He smirked, "now come on, I'm done playing with you. It's cold, it's wet, and I'm growing tired of these little games. You need to come with me now." He held out his hand.

She swung at it but he moved just in time.

"You've absolutely lost your mind if you think I would willingly go anywhere with you," she hissed back, that defiant look in her eyes that Kylo admired so much.

Fine, he thought, he would do this the hard way. He raised his light saber high and swung it down hard, as she turned her saber to try to block the move, her muscles failed her and her hands dropped her weapon. He quickly reached down and grabbed it before she could, turning it off and tossing it behind him.

"No!" She screeched in shock and anger. Without thinking about it, she lunged at him, fists clenched in rage, ready to hit any part of him she could get ahold of. She made to punch him square in the jaw but her wrist was caught in an uncomfortably tight grip before she could do any damage. So she tried to use her other fist, then tried kicking him, she was certain she got a few good hits in when she felt a sudden heaviness take over her body. She dropped to her knees instantly, Kylo still holding her wrist tightly. She realized that was where the heavy feeling was coming from. It was him. He was using the force on her to make her weak.

He retracted his saber, storing it away quickly and returning his full attention to the woman before him.

She gritted her teeth and fought with what little strength she had left trying so hard to stay conscious. She knew giving in now could be detrimental to her health. But the weight was so heavy, her eyes could hardly stay open, her body going limp rather quickly.

"S-stop..." she managed out, her voice no more than a whisper.

"I wish I could Rey...I really do. But you've left me no choice now..." he dropped her wrist but kept his hand directly over her head, focusing his energy.

She was on all fours now, her arms shaking to hold her up. Her hair loose and a few strands hanging around her wet face. She blinked slowly trying with all her night to hold them open. Her arms gave out and she was suddenly laying limply on her side feeling the cold metal of the floor under them against her already cold body.

'At least if I die I won't be so cold' she thought to herself. And suddenly her body stilled and eyes closed as she could no longer fight the force that had taken over her.

Kylo grinned and relaxed. That wasn't nearly as hard as he thought it would be. He picked her up and got back onto his small ship he had used to get to the Death Star. He laid her gently on the floor and flew his ship back to the flagship he commanded. Oh the fun he could have now...


	2. Chapter 2

Rey's eyes sleepily opened. She was a bit confused as she looked around trying figure out where she was and what was happening. This room was made from dark metals and had a large window and only one entrance. She was lying prone on the cold, hard floor. Her clothes still damp from the waves that soaked her only an hour ago. She lifted her head up and looked around for anybody. No one in sight so she pushed herself up into a seated position, her body still incredibly sore. She stretched her arm and back muscles out and shakily got to her feet. As she began slowly walking and taking in little details around her, she came to the awful realization that this was Kylo Ren's ship. A shiver of dread tingled down her spine as she suddenly remembered what had happened.

'I have to get off this ship immediately' she thought to herself.

The first thing she did was try the door, which was obviously locked tight and impenetrable. Quickly, she rushed around to every wall of the room, looking for any way she could use to escape. There was a small bathroom, but nothing helpful in there. She did find a fair sized vent she may be able to squeeze through, but it was quite high up and sealed tightly. She knew she didn't have much time to put a plan into action so she pulled a chair over to the vent and immediately started shaking and pulling at it. She could barely get her fingers through the slots, and though she pulled with all her strength, it was clear the grate wasn't moving without the tool that had drilled it into the wall.

'Wait a second, can I use the force or can't I?' She thought, trying to pump herself up. She shook her hands and closed her eyes, lifting both hands so they were on the grate and concentrating all her energy on it. It rattled a bit and she focused harder and harder. The rattling stopped and she opened her eyes. It was no use. She was too weak. She stepped down off the chair instead coming to sit in it and put her head in her hands sighing. She was so stupid to have taken that skimmer off to the Death Star herself. She should have told the others what she was doing. Maybe they could have devised a plan in case something like this had happened. Now she was completely alone and she knew Finn would try to come to her rescue and very well may pay the ultimate price for it. All of her friends may. All because of her own foolishness. How could she have let this happen...

The door opened jarring her out of her self pity and she quickly jumped to her feet. She instinctively reached for her saber, but of course, it wasn't there.

"There's no need for that, I'm not here to hurt you," Kylo walked in closing the door behind him. She dare not take her eyes off this man. He was a threat, her whole body knew it and felt the darkness in him. He can't be trusted.

"What do you want from me?" She just blurted right out, not wanting to spend time talking to him any longer than she had to. He stopped a safe distance away from her, his dark eyes meeting hers and she saw the smirk of a grin play at the corner of his lips.

"Something you will never willingly give."

Something about the phrase made her feel uneasy and she decided not to press that matter any further. He continued talking as if he hadn't said that.

"I know you saw the same vision I did. I'm not here to try to convince you because I think you'll find fate will do that in time. You can't run from what u truly are, Rey. You and I both know that," he spoke softly as though she would explode any second. In his defense, Rey did look like she was ready to begin swinging again. She noticed he had no visible weapon on him and a glimmer of hope rose in her. She relaxed her stance and tried to look somewhat more relaxed as he walked closer to her. He continued talking seeing that she had calmed down.

"You see...I knew you wouldn't willingly come to my ship and talk to me. So I did what I had to do; brought you here so you could be what you were destined to be."

He stood directly in front of her now, his eyes searching her face for any sign of submission. There was none.

"I'm not interested," she said coldly turning to look out of the giant glass window at the stars around them, willing him to leave with her mind.

"You'll change your mind," he said a little too calmly behind her, "And when you do, I'll be ready."

"Your going to be waiting a very long time I'm afraid," she replied roughly. She knew her friends would be searching for her and somehow they would just have to make a plan to get out alive. There was a long silence between them where she could feel his eyes burning a hole in the back of her head. She knew he had so much more he wanted to say but he simply turned and began walking towards the door.

"I'm having blankets, food, and towels sent up to you. I know you're exhausted and need to think things over."

"No I really don't, I promise you," she snapped.

"We'll see."

And with that, he walked out of the door. Rey had planned on trying to attack him but she thought that in her state, she had better wait. Maybe after a hot meal and some sleep she would be ready to battle once more.


	3. Chapter 3

The next few hours, Rey was left alone after being given what Kylo had promised her. She ate the food ravenously, not realizing how hungry she had really been. It was just a piece of meat, chunk of plain bread, and cheese with water to drink, but her body felt much better after just that bit of nourishment. She wasn't afraid it was poisoned as she knew that would give Kylo no benefit.

With the fresh towels, she washed in the shower. Allowing the hot water to wash the horrible day she had off of her, scrubbing her dark amber hair vigorously to wash the salt and sand out that she didn't get to do as often as she would like. Stepping out of the water and wrapping herself in a towel, she felt so much more calm and was thinking clearer already. But she was growing sleepy...her belly full and her body clean, she now felt as if she could sleep for days. As she dried, she found she had also been sent a plain off white dress with her blankets and she slipped that on while her normal clothes dried in the bathroom. It wasn't very thick, but it was better than nothing to sleep in.

She took one blanket and put it on the floor against the giant window wall, then lay on it and pulled the other one over top of her. She lay on her side so she could see out of the window. Somehow it made her feel better looking out into the vast expanse of space as this room was a bit too confining for her. She slowly drifted off to sleep watching the stars, planets, and random aircraft drift by.

"Rey...I think you've slept long enough...it's time to get up now."

She slowly blinked her tired eyes and turned her head, a figure kneeled over her coming into focus. As if she had touched a red hot piece of steel, she shot up with her back against the window wall, her sleepy state disorienting her momentarily.

"W-what are you doing here?" Was all she could manage out, she realized she was in the thin dress and yanked the blanket to cover her front quickly.

"You've been asleep for hours," Kylo Ren said calmly, "I thought you may be dead so I came to check on you."

She sighed heavily, then put her hands to her face then through her hair that hung damply around her shoulders.

"Well obviously I'm still alive so...you can go now," she said irritated. Kylo ignored this.

"I took the liberty of having your clothes washed and dried while you slept. As well as brought you fresh towels and a snack."

She stared at him trying to figure out what game he was playing. Why was he doing this? They hated each other! And he had kidnapped her! Now he just expects to win her over by giving her basic human rights?

She stared incredulously at him.

"What do you want a thank you or something?"

"That would be a start," he replied quickly.

She shook her head and laughed in utter disbelief.

"Oh yes, thank you oh kind master for kidnapping me and sneaking into my room while I'm sleeping to wash my clothes. I couldn't ask for a kinder, less weird man to hold me captive!" She rolled her eyes.

"Don't get sassy with me, scavenger. You forget your place and who you're in the presence of." He said deeply.

"Oh no I didn't forget," she said simply, staring unblinkingly into his eyes. He got a hard look on his face and clenched his jaw, obviously never being spoken to this way before. She refused to let herself be afraid of him and didn't break his intense eye contact. He seemed to study her face trying to think of what to say.

"Well...I'm sorry you feel that way," he struggled to keep his voice under control.

She could tell he was angry and struggling not to explode at her. She didn't care, hot adrenaline pumped through her veins willing her to push him further, to make him feel as angry as she did right now.

"Oh, you're sorry I feel that way? That's all you have to say? You cheat in a fight that I could have beat you in-"

"Beat me?!" He laughed incredulously.

"Yes! If you would have fought fair!" She cried angrily back. She found herself leaning close to him, brows furrowed in anger and teeth tightly grinding. He stood his ground, unthreatened by her.

"I did give you a fair chance, you dropped your saber, I would say at that moment me sparing your life was already more than kind!"

"Oh yes because 'kind' is the word that comes to mind when I think of you!" She said sarcastically, "Now if you don't mind I'd appreciate you getting out of my face..." she growled at him, even closer than before. She felt like a caged animal, ready to attack at any second. The air was so full around them she swore she could breath it in like a heavy fog. After what seemed to be a full minute of silent tension between them, Kylo pulled back away from her and stood, a grin on his face. Rey neither knew nor cared what he thought was funny at this moment all she knew was she wanted him out of her space.

"Very well...I'll leave you for now. I understand that you're still stressed and weak from yesterday-"

"I'm not weak, but stressed? Yeah, you nailed that one right on the head..." She stood letting the blankets drop.

She saw the man take a quick glance up and down her body and she quickly crossed her arms in front of her chest, faltering a bit.

"This doesn't have to be done the hard way, Rey...you and I...we could be the strongest force in any galaxy if you just gave it a chance."

"No." She interjected quickly, not even caring what he was saying anymore. Kylo took a step towards her and she tightened her arms even more.

"You won't even try...? Even if your destiny tells you this is what must happen, you still do not accept me?"

She took a step towards him so she was close to his face.

"I said...no." She hissed. Without even hesitating or thinking, Kylo instinctively brought his hand up and smacked her hard across the face. He watched her stumble to the ground, holding her cheek that had a reddened hue to it now, a look of shock in her eyes. She seemed unable to speak for once.

"Anything else you would like to talk about?" He said, rage burning inside him, wishing for nothing more than to have his saber to lash out and tear the room apart.

"Get out..." was all she could manage, staring up at him with such hatred he had never seen from an individual. He could feel the intensity of her hate radiating from her now and he was sure she could feel his.

"I think you need time to cool off and think about this. Sooner or later I'll get what I want..."

Kylo stared down at her a moment longer then turned abruptly and quickly walked out without another word.

Rey stay down on the ground holding her cheek as she watched him leave. Her eyes, which were red and glistening, finally let loose and hot angry tears slid down her cheeks as soon as the door closed.

She had no idea what to do and no idea how she was going to get off this ship, but she knew she would rather die trying than have to stay with this monster.


	4. Chapter 4

After spending the next few hours calming down and thinking of ways she could at least make it out of the room, Rey finally devised a plan. She had to admit to herself it wasn't a very good one, but it somehow might work. She pulled her hair back into a bun, put her normal clothes back on that she could move easier in, and went and flattened herself against the wall directly beside the door. She waited impatiently for Kylo to come back. She stood there nearly an hour, almost gave up on the idea twice, but once she heard the hiss of the door coming open, she flattened herself as much as she could in the very small alcove.

Kylo Ren came striding in and the moment he was past her, she threw herself out of the doorway and sprinted as hard as she could down the long hallway not even looking back. There was no time for that. She just needed to make a left and she would be out of his view if he looked out of the door. Nearly there, come on run faster, faster.

"Ugh!" She cried out as an invisible force froze her in an instant and she hovered there, feet barely on the ground. No! She had been so close! The turn was right there! She panicked and tried to move with all her might, clenching her fists tightly, but it was no use. She felt the force pulling her backwards quickly back down the hall she had almost made it all the way down until she felt her back roughly hit something. As Kylo wrapped his arms around her to hold her still she realized it was him she had been pulled into.

"Clever trick, I must admit. You almost made it."

One of his hands came up to rest on her neck while the other held her arms still. He didn't grip her neck tightly, but simply having his large hand over it made her uneasy.

"But I wonder," he continued, "what did you plan on doing once you escaped me? This is a fully staffed, highly guarded ship. You would have been caught very quickly and in a lot more trouble than you are right now."

"So I'm in trouble now am I?" She said struggling against him now that he had lifted the force that had pulled her.

"Yes and if you don't stop squirming it will only be worse for you."

"I don't see how it could get much worse than this..." she said quietly. She felt Kylo's face against her hair and heard him inhale deeply. She turned her head away from him, trying to lean so he wasn't so close. There was a tight knot in her stomach that was screaming 'danger' at her. His grip tightened around her pulling her back against him even closer.

"I'd like to go back into the room now," she said quietly, becoming a bit scared and more than uncomfortable now. She knew physically she couldn't over power him and though he wasn't the first creep to try this type of thing on her, she knew she couldn't escape him as easily as others.

"And I'd like you to show more respect..." he growled into her ear. She shivered and squirmed.

"Please...I'll go back without a fight, let me go," she said shakily.

"Oh...I see how it is now," he spoke directly into her ear, no more than a low whisper, "When you're overpowered and know you can't win, then you play nice...or maybe you're just afraid of what you're feeling right now..." his hand that was on her neck began sliding down passed her collarbone. She used her weight to slide down further away from his hand. He stopped, laughing lowly then grabbed her jaw holding tightly so she couldn't turn her head.

"Listen to me as I'll only say this once. You try that again, and you'll wish this was all I did to you. Consider yourself lucky that I'm in a good mood..." and with that he turned and threw her away from him so she landed on the floor in the room she was being held captive in and closed the door quickly before she could get up.

Rey got up and collected herself taking a few deep breaths. She hadn't felt in danger like that in a long time. Frankly she felt a bit disgusted and dirty. She rubbed her arm and paced a few minutes. Would it be worth it to try and escape again? Should she even try it? She didn't like the way he made her feel and how he seemed to like to make her squirm. And she knew his threats weren't empty. No, she would have to devise another plan. One that wouldn't involve a test of physical strength...she would have to come up with something else. For now she would bide her time and keep her nose down.


	5. Chapter 5

Keeping her nose down proved to be harder than Rey thought. Fortunately for her, her captor only peeked in on her a few times that day. Not speaking much to her, and her ignoring him when he did. She instead sat wrapped up in the blanket, staring out of the big window wall and thinking.

She knew she could try to use the force to get out. In fact she tried it twice on the door, the second time really thinking she had it. But it was strange, it was as if her powers were dulled being here. She couldn't concentrate well enough to do any real damage. She was quickly losing faith in her own abilities which only made it worse. Sure she had trained with the best Jedi in the galaxy, sure she was powerful, but what's power if you have no faith in your abilities?

She fell asleep for awhile, tossing and turning, having weird dreams, and ultimately waking up and pacing again for a few more hours. Her stomach rumbled hungrily and she came to realize she hadn't been given any food since the snack at least 12 hours previously. She wouldn't dare complain, she had been hungry before. For days at a time actually. She would survive this just as well. She went and drank water from the sink in the bathroom, at least it was something in her belly. A lot more than what she went to bed with sometimes back on her home planet. She went and sat cross legged back down to face out of the window, blanket still wrapped around her shoulders, simply thinking and meditating. Perhaps there was still some Ben left in Kylo Ren that she could appeal to. Surely he wasn't all bad and she could reach him somehow. She had to try at least...

Later, when he came in to check on her, as he refused to send anyone else in to do it, she glanced back at him and then looked back out of the window.

He walked over to her and stood behind her as if expecting her to jump up and turn on him. But she didn't.

"You can sit if you want," she said quietly. He seemed to internally debate, unsure of her intentions, but ultimately he decided to go along with whatever she was playing at. He sat down a few inches away from her and put his arms on his knees, looking first at her, then back out into the stars.

"Had a change of heart?" He asked carefully.

"You know I can't say yes," she said simply not looking at him. He took a long breath in and slowly exhaled.

"You know you're on the losing side of this war right?" He said.

"I know." She paused, thinking a moment, "but I couldn't live with myself if I went against my beliefs. Surely even you can respect that. I'd rather die fighting for what's right than live a slave to the dark side."

"You wouldn't be a slave, Rey. You would be a queen. An empress. The most powerful ruler the universe has ever seen. Besides me of course."

"No, Kylo, I would be a slave...just as you are now."

He turned towards her and stared into her face absolutely dumbstruck.

"You think that I, the supreme leader, am a slave?"

"Yes," she looked over at him, "and you know it too. You're a slave to the dark side. You're a slave to the corrupted government you've helped create. You think you're a leader but you're not, you're a pawn in a galactic game of chess. There will always be someone stronger, someone smarter, and someone who is more power hungry than you. And when you're on the side of evil, that person will take your place in an instant."

"Boldly spoken for a girl who knows nothing of politics." He replied. He didn't seem angry, just annoyed. She thought this talk really might be working. She could really get through to him if he stayed calm.

"Listen...Ben," she started. He looked at her but furrowed his brow in disapproval at his real name.

"You don't have to live like this. You could be free of all this inner turmoil if you would come with me. Forget this life and start over...I could help you..." she slowly and carefully placed a hand on the side of his scarred face. He closed his eyes a long second and Rey scooted closer, turning her body towards him. This was going surprisingly well. She thought she would try her luck a bit more. Maybe seal the deal of her release and even help this man use his power for good. She gently leaned her face close to his, keeping her hand in place. Kylo opened his eyes and stared into Rey's face that was merely an inch away from his own. For a split second, Rey saw a glimmer of that person she knew he could become if he only tried. His dark eyes were soft, there was no crushing grip, no forced physical contact, no violence at all. Just two normal people so very close together...

Rey's breathing quickened as she knew what she had to do. She was nervous and though she surely hated the man before her, she couldn't deny the strong feeling she had when he was near, or the weird bond they shared.

Without another moments hesitation, she closed the last inch of space between them and crashed her lips upon his.

He responded immediately, kissing back just as hard, the two of them suddenly in a passionate battle of control. Somehow Rey ended up in his lap, her hands entwined in his messy dark hair and Kylo's hands gripping her waist tightly. The feeling of lust that had suddenly welled up inside her was making her feel insane and for some reason she found she couldn't stop what she had started and had planned on being a small simple kiss. Their lips battled for a few long, heated seconds. Then she suddenly felt the man beneath her quickly break their moment as he pushed her off of him and stood quickly facing the opposite direction of her. They both fought to even their breath, Rey's body screaming in disapproval that the moment had ended that quickly.

"What...what's wrong?" She said remaining on the ground.

"They warned me," He said lowly, "they all warned me you would try this."

He turned and looked dangerously at her. Her confusion suddenly twisting into fear. She quickly got to her feet and took a careful step towards him.

"I just want to help you, Ben-"

"Enough!" He yelled stepping up into her face. Rey backed up into the window and stared up at him in shock. "My name is not Ben, and if you call me that again I'll have you flogged like the prisoner you are, do you understand?" His voice was so deep and dangerous in that moment, it left Rey speechless and she searched his face for a sign of that man she thought she had seen earlier. He was gone. This was full blown Kylo Ren in all his glory.

He slammed a fist directly next to her head, hitting the glass with such force she thought it may crack, quickly bringing her back to the moment.

"I asked you a question!" He said loudly. Rey stared at him, still unable to make her voice work but managed to nod her head quickly. The tall man stared down at her a long second, then turned on his heels and walked so quickly and angrily from the room, she simply stood in shock against that wall for a full minute. That absolutely had not gone according to plan. And those she was running out of rather quickly...


	6. Chapter 6

It had now been at least another six hours since Kylo had come into her room. She paced and paced, showered, then paced again, her mind racing, and yet seemingly not working at all. She was beyond frustrated. She truly thought her plan had been going well. She glimpsed Ben as she had a few times in the past. But she feared the darkness had completely engulfed his heart now and there would be no going back for him. Only a miracle could help his soul now and she can't help him with that, he would have to fight that battle alone.

Her hunger pains had gone away a long time ago, thankfully. She was getting rather shaky and lightheaded, but kept drinking water when it would get bad. That seemed to keep the hunger at bay for now. Her mind was too busy to worry about such things as food anyway.

Perhaps she should have acted as if she wanted to be his queen? Give into him just long enough to be able to steal a small fighter ship of her own and escape.

Well that would have been an excellent plan had she thought of it sooner but now she knew he would be suspicious of anything she tried and with how scary he got last time, she didn't think that was a great idea to try it anytime soon. She happened to glance back out of the window on her thoughtful walk and did a double take. Weapons were being fired, she could see streaks of light across the sky as whoever it was attacking this giant ship shot back, zooming expertly around the small fleet surrounding them. She quickly went to the window and pressed her face and hand against it, desperately trying to see if it was who she hoped it was. But the shooting subsided. It was silent once more. She thought the poor bastard that had the gall to attack this ship must have been taken out already. She should have known it wasn't her friends. Surely they wouldn't be dumb enough to attack a fleet with one small fighter jet. She turned, sighing, and slid down the window until she was sitting, head down and eyes closed. A few long minutes went by and she found her self wallowing in self pity again. She knew she shouldn't, but it was really hard not to in a situation like this. Suddenly the door hissed open.

"Go away," she loudly without looking up, knowing Kylo was here yet again.

"Are you sure?"

Her head shot up. That was not Kylo Ren's voice. It was-

"Finn!" She yelled, jumping to her feet and sprinting over to him where she almost knocked him over in a tight hug.

"That wasn't you in the fighter jet?" She questioned.

"Actually it was Poe," Poe peeked around the door, weapon drawn, keeping a lookout.

"Hey," he said quickly shooting her a smile.

"I'm so happy to see you guys!" She said and hugged Finn again.

"As much as I'd love to catch up, I think we should go," Finn said, grabbing her hand and taking off down the hall with his own weapon in his other hand. Poe followed closely behind covering their back.

"Where's Chewy and BB8?" She asked while they ran.

"On the ship, they are flying around to avoid capture until we get to the pick up zone." Finn answered. They rounded the corner and were met with three storm troopers, weapons pointed directly at them. Rey didn't hesitate, lifting her hand and using the force to blast them out of the way. She smiled in spite of herself. She felt powerful again. She realized she actually may make it out of this alive. They ran down a few more long hallways.

"Do you know where you're going?" Rey asked becoming out of breath from all the running.

"Uhhh...yeah. Kind of." He said. He still held tightly to her hand as they ran, Poe ran ahead of them to clear a turn they had to make and suddenly Finn's hand was ripped out of her own. She slowed her run and turned to see what had happened.

Kylo stood at the end of the hall they were in, fully dressed in his dark clothes and mask, his gloved hand raised and directed at Finn's neck, forcing him to be dragged by the unseen force towards him. Poe immediately began shooting at him but was quickly thrown against the wall by Kylo's other hand, effectively knocking him out. Rey couldn't let Kylo get ahold of Finn, she knew he would not be shown mercy. She raised her hand and focused all her power on Finn, willing him back towards her. It slowed his movement towards the evil man and finally froze him only feet away. Finn couldn't seem to be able to breath properly and couldn't move hardly at all as the two battled silently over him.

"Come on. You're stronger than that." Kylo said in his eerily calm deep voice. "Take him back...save him. Focus."

She tried to ignore him and focused so hard on dragging Finn back towards her that she started shaking. Finn's teeth gritted together tightly and he began to let out a painful low yell.

"Focus, Rey!" Kylo said loudly, "do you want your friend to live or not?!"

She began sweating as she used every ounce of her energy on him. Finn's scream of pain pierced both of their ears and suddenly it clicked in Rey's mind what Kylo was trying to do. She stopped focusing so hard and Finn's yells subsided. They were both too strong to do this to a human. He would be torn to shreds if she continued.

"I'm sorry, Finn," she said quietly and lowered her arm in defeat. Finn sliding the rest of the way to Kylo where he held him for a moment by his neck, and quickly used the force to render him unconscious.

"Wise decision," Kylo said tossing his body aside to gather later.

"Now stand still."

Rey shook, her adrenaline fueling her to do something but she wasn't sure what she could do. She couldn't leave her unconscious friends in the same room with this psychopath while she escaped. They would be murdered as soon as she left the ship. She breathed hard as Kylo walked towards her, sweat beading on her forehead.

"Don't think about doing anything. I will kill these two on the spot if you so much as try. Don't test me." He marched straight up to her and she allowed herself to be grabbed roughly by the upper arm.

"I'll come peacefully if you promise not to hurt them!" She said boldly when he tugged at her.

"Your coming with me regardless," he growled.

"No!" She cried and yanked her arm out of his grip. "Not unless you promise not to hurt them."

"You really care about these traitors and thieves that much? You would risk injury to yourself to save them?"

"Yes," she stared unblinking into his mask. She couldn't see his face but she knew he was staring at her. A group of storm troopers came trotting around the corner and paused when they saw the scene before them.

"Pick these two up. Put them in the brig." Kylo ordered his men, still staring into Rey's face.

"Thank you," Rey said quietly enough for only him to hear.

"Don't thank me just yet. You're going to pay for what has just happened here." She felt her arm roughly grabbed again and herself being dragged down the hall. She watched behind her to make sure the storm troopers weren't hurting her friends then turned back around.

"This isn't the way to my room," she said suddenly realizing she was being dragged in the opposite direction.

"No it isn't. You won't be going back there." He didn't even glance back at her just continued walking. Her body went cold, where was she being taken? What was he going to do with her? She thought in relief that at least her friends were safe at the moment. She would deal with whatever was being planned for her. She didn't have a choice...


	7. Chapter 7

Rey was being dragged through hallways and corridors, Kylo's long stride making her have to jog to keep up, his grip still tight on her arm.

"You don't have to do this." She said desperately. She almost said his true name, but his threat still resounded in her head and she decided not to push her luck. He ignored her and continued dragging her through the enormous ship.

"Whatever you are going to do...I-I'm not afraid," her voice shook slightly.

"You will be."

She was honestly terrified. She didn't have a clue where they were going and she feared she may be killed for real this time. There was no one left to help her.  
He pressed a button to open a door and when she was pulled through, she had to blink a bit from the bright light and sterile looking room. This appeared to be nothing more than his quarters.

He pushed her away from him and removed his mask, tossing it aside to the ground. He pulled off his gloves and long black cloak to follow. To say he was scary looking was an under statement. His eyes were darker than she had ever seen them, his jaw clenched tightly, fists clenched digging into his own palms.

Rey's breathing was labored, her every sense telling her she was in extreme danger. He reached out and grabbed her jaw so she had to look at him. His grip was uncomfortably tight and her hands went directly to his arm in an attempt to get him to release her.

"I warned you," he used the forced and his own strength to lift her from her feet and directly in front of his face, still holding onto her tightly. She clung to his arm to hold her own weight, feet dangling.

"Didn't I warn you? And you disobeyed me...you would choose a filthy traitor over me," his voice shook in anger. She brought her leg up and kicked him in the stomach, breaking his concentration, and causing him to drop her. Rey immediately crawled out of his reach when he doubled over, then got to her feet and ran towards the door. She hit the button. Nothing. Her heart skipped a beat uncomfortably. She slammed it over and over again but it didn't open. Before she could come up with a different plan, she felt a large hand tangle itself in her hair, pulling sharply so she lost her balance and fell hard to the ground and slid away from the door, knocking the air out of her.

She made to get up but Kylo slammed his foot down on her chest, knocking even more air out of her and slamming her back against the ground.

She gasped for oxygen and rolled out of the way as he lifted his foot and made to do it again. She kicked her foot out hard at his shin and made contact, knocking him off balance and sending him to the ground. She turned to get up but he grabbed her ankle and yanked her back to him.

She turned on her back to kick him again but he had already forced himself on top of her to pin her down, her legs forced on either side of his hips unable to do any damage, both of her wrists were being gripped tightly, and though she struggled, she could not over power him, he was too strong and she had used so much of her energy already.

"Fighting back won't do you any good. It's too late now," Kylo said, bringing a hand off her wrist to stroke her face. She felt her stomach clench uncomfortably and immediately tried hitting him with the hand he had let free. He blocked it easily.

"Stop," Rey said tears in her eyes now. She could sense his intentions now that they were in such close proximity and his intentions and need for control made her feel sick.

"You know I won't," he said looking up and down her face. A tear fell from her eye as she turned her face away from his. What could she do? She closed her eyes.

Kylo took this moment of calm to grab at the material of her top and begin ripping it down off her shoulders. But he felt a sudden shift in power and froze. He looked around and then back down at Rey who was breathing hard now, eyes closed tightly.

"What are you doing?!" He said loudly. Before he could say anything else, a silent blast like a bomb going off sent him flying off of her and into the wall. He sat there crumpled for a moment in shock and looked over to her where she was slowly getting to her feet. She was panting and visibly shaking but the defiance in her face was unmoved. She pulled her sleeves back up onto her shoulders and stared Kylo down, willing him to try something else. He got to his feet and there was an intense moment of silence. Kylo turned his neck uncomfortably, sore from the hard slam against the wall.

"You deserved that..." she said lowly.

"You think you're stronger than me?" Kylo asked beginning to walk slowly towards her again.

"No," she said catching her breath, "but the light will always be stronger than the darkness. And I fear that's all that left inside you now."

An eerie calm washed over Kylo and he stopped walking towards her.

"You know something...I think you might be right." He broke their eye contact and walked quickly out of the room leaving Rey there alone. She got a horrible feeling in the pit of her stomach. She had been stupid to use that much of the force on him. She felt completely drained now. A little voice in her mind told her she did what she had to. She couldn't just let him take what he wanted. Should she have saved her energy only to be violated and done those unspeakable things she had seen him replaying in his mind? No. She did what was necessary.

She fell down to her knees and sat there trying to recompose herself. She knew he wasn't done with her.


	8. Chapter 8

Nearly an hour elapsed so far and Rey was really struggling to stay conscious. She was so mentally drained and had no nourishment to give her any energy back. She had paced Kylo's room over and over thinking about what horrible thing he had planned next. She wrapped her arms around herself and sat on the edge of his bed. What had almost happened to her fully sank in while she sat there and though she knew Kylo's heart was dark, she honestly didn't think he was capable of something so heinous. She wondered if he actually would have gone through with it or if he was just trying to scare her. Either way, she didn't want to find out. She felt disgusted at herself for kissing him earlier and any feelings she had shown him in the past. She knew now what a monster he truly could be.

The door opened and Kylo walked in. Rey was too tired to fight him back as he grabbed her wrist and led her from the room without a word. She silently followed him, stumbling a few times, but managing to keep up with his fast pace.

They silently rode the elevator up, Rey still nervous, but her fight gone.

When the doors opened, Rey stood there in disbelief. It was a massive room and it was full of troops all staring at the stage they had just arrived on. Kylo pushed her forward and she slowly walked out of the elevator onto the platform.

"Rey!" A males voice said loudly. She had been so overwhelmed by the hordes of people looking at them, that she hadn't noticed a handcuffed Finn on his knees across the stage. A dribble of blood running down the side of his face and a storm trooper with a blaster pointed at him.

"Finn!" She said and quickly made to run to him. However when she did, Kylo gripped her wrist tighter and held her back. She glanced at him and decided it wasn't worth the effort, instead walking with him. She didn't want to make him more mad than he was with Finn's life on the line.

He walked them to stand in the middle of the platform and faced his audience. Rey stared out at all of them, dumbstruck as to what was going on.

"Troops, I have called you here for an urgent matter," Kylo spoke loudly out to the crowd.

"The man you see before you is a traitor. One of you, in fact, that fled us because he couldn't stand to kill those who rose up against us!" There was audible disapproving noises from the crowd and hateful comments yelled out. Rey looked disgustedly around the room.

"But as you see, we also have this girl as our guest here!" Kylo said placing his hand on the back of her neck.

"This isn't just any girl though...she is a future Jedi who trained under Luke Skywalker himself! The force she possesses is the strongest I've ever seen!"

Rey and Finn glanced at each other at a loss of what was happening, both looking as confused as the other.

"I've asked her to join us in this fight several times, yet she vigilantly denies it!" More boos from the crowd.

"The traitorous former stormtrooper deserves death. But you see, Rey here cares for him!" He yelled, his grip tightening on her.

"Troops, what I have brought you here to see today, is what can and will happen to anyone who tries to stand against me!"

Rey's heart pounded like a drum and she looked up at Kylo realizing what was he was doing suddenly. The horrible man kicked the back of her legs knocking her onto her knees in front of him. Before she could move, he had his hand hovered over her head. She knew what he was about to do, but couldn't prepare herself for it. She felt the horrible pressure of the force in her mind, consuming her thoughts, taking over her body. She fought it but found her body standing calmly of its own accord.

"You will now take my light saber," She heard Kylo's voice echoed in her mind. Her hand reached out and took it from his own. She shook, tears forming in her eyes, but her legs took her over to where Finn was kneeled. He struggled, calling her name out, she wanted to stop but she couldn't. It was all a blur, her mind struggled so hard to try to find itself, she fought against the force so hard...but it was pointless. She took a strong stance and lit the saber, drawing it back ready to land a fatal strike. Tears streamed down her face and she yelled as she fought as hard as she could.

"Do it!" She heard Kylo say loudly. It was as if her muscles were torn between listening to her and her tormentor. It was an enormous effort to keep from swinging the saber.

"Do it, now!" He yelled. She felt her muscles draw back ready to do as they were told regardless of what she wanted.

Just as she felt herself about to swing, she yelled with all the power she could manage, "I'll join you!"

There was an odd silence.

"What did you say?" Kylo sounded surprised.

"I'll join you...don't make me do it...please." She cried still internally struggling. A moment more of quiet battle and it lifted as suddenly as it had started. She collapsed to the ground, dropping his red saber where it slid away from her.

"Rey!" She could now hear Finn's voice clearly. But she was so tired...her eyes surely couldn't stay open much longer.

"The girl has said she will join us!" Kylo's voice cut through the silence. The crowd erupted in cheers. Rey and Finn made eye contact as she lay there unable to move. He looked so sad and disappointed...All she could do was look back and let the tears continue to fall, trying to say sorry with her eyes. She was suddenly lifted with the force so she hovered up in the air high enough for Kylo to grab her limp body and hold it as if she were a new bride. She didn't fight it this time.

"Let this be a warning!" Kylo yelled to his men, "if I can turn a Jedi, I can do anything! Tell others what you have seen here today!"

And on that he turned and walked with Rey still in his arms back to the elevator.

Rey's heavy eyes looked up at his face while she lay there.

"Don't hurt him..." she said softly. Kylo ignored her.

"Please..." she said desperately, hot tears still rolling down her cheeks.

"If you keep your word, I'll keep mine," he said not looking at her. Her head rolled back as she finally gave into sweet unconscious oblivion.


	9. Chapter 9

Kylo carried the unconscious girl all the way back to his quarters and lay her on his bed. He sat beside her limp form and stared at her silently. Her face had a slightly troubled look permanently etched on it while she slept. He hovered a hand over her sleeping form and used his powers again, this time gently prying into her mind. He saw visions of deserts, Rey struggling to survive, raising herself from a very young age. A clear vision of her as a small child lying in a dirty bed crying. The sorrow and loneliness coming from her shook his very core. She never had anyone give a damn about her growing up. The strong emotions forced a tear to fall from his eye as he searched a bit more. There was anger, so much resentment, and plenty of fear...but just as soon as he felt those things, they went away and he saw glimpses of her kindness. She would help anyone that asked, quite literally giving the shirt off her back to a young child, sharing the small amount of food she had with a stray animal, trying to rescue any injured species she came across. She was never mean to another living being if she could help it. The intensity of good coming from her now was almost too much for him. His soul desperately called out to the light, wanting to feel that same peace she felt when she did what was right.

He broke the connection there. He couldn't let his selfish feelings interfere with this mission. He wiped the tear off his face and stared at her a moment longer, understanding her better now...yet not understanding her at all.

Rey's eyes opened slowly, her vision blurry and head pounding. She rolled onto her back and looked around. It was dark and she could hardly see, but once her eyes adjusted a bit, she realized she was back in Kylo's own chambers. She felt around and realized she was on his bed, as she felt around her hand hit something solid and she blinked the blurriness out of her eyes. Kylo was lying next to her, sound asleep, breathing slow and peacefully. She immediately yanked the covers down. Oh thank God, her clothes were still on and hadn't appeared to be messed with.

She sat up on the side of the bed, dizzier than ever, her stomach aching from lack of food for going on what, two days? Three? She had lost count. All she knew was she was starving and her head was killing her. She stood and as soon as she went to take a step, her vision went black and she hit the floor. She landed rather hard as her body was still feeling physically weak and decided she should just lie there a moment until the sickly feeling passed.

Kylo opened his eyes at the sound of her falling. He reached out and felt she wasn't where he had left her and sat up quickly looking around. He realized he didn't see her anywhere and stood, walking around the bed to find her crumpled on the floor, looking pale as death.

"What are you doing?" He asked genuinely confused.

"I...can't...don't feel good..." she struggled out. He leaned down and put her arm over his shoulder to help her stand. Her legs were like jelly, her vision turning black again. Kylo noticed her going limp and quickly helped her lay back on the bed.

What was wrong with her, his mind wasn't fully awake yet but he struggled to think of what the problem could be.

Rey lay there nearly unconscious again, she wouldn't tell him she was starving. She would rather die first than ask anything of him.

"Do...you need water?" He questioned.

She turned her face away from him.

"I can't help you if don't tell me what you need!" He said irritated. She remained silent.

"That's enough of this," he said and pried into her mind once more. He felt the pain in her stomach of all consuming hunger. Her every cell begged for nourishment, every vein and blood vessel thin and dehydrated.

He pulled himself back into his own mind.

"When was the last time I gave you food?" He said more to himself than her. It must have been the first few hours she was here. He's been so busy with so much on his mind he had completely forgotten to bring her more food and she had been suffering in silence.

He walked from the room returning a few minutes later with water, bread, and fruit. He sat it on the table beside the bed.

"There. Now eat." He said and went back around to the other side of the bed to lie down.

Rey reached over shakily and grabbed the bread, immediately shoving as much as she could in her mouth. It was hard and a bit bland but it was food, and her body didn't care much for what anything tasted like at the moment. It just knew she needed to eat. After inhaling the bread she took a long drink of water and paused. She knew she should slow down or she would get sick, so she laid there to give her body a few minutes to process she was actually eating.

She glanced towards Kylo who was laying facing away from her.

"Thank you...but I was fine."

"Yes, you certainly looked fine." He said sarcastically without missing a beat. She looked away from him instead up at the ceiling. She knew she shouldn't be in such close quarters with the enemy but she couldn't do much about that right now.

"I could kill you in your sleep." She said trying to figure out why she was here.

"And I could have easily killed you, but I didn't," He said irritated.

"Are the others safe?" She asked quietly.

"Yes."

She nodded to herself. Good. She could fight this battle alone and then get them out at the opportune moment.

"Were you really going to kill Finn?" Her mind raced and she had so many questions, she couldn't help herself.

"Yes, and I'm going to kill you if you ask me anymore questions."

She was silent a moment.

"Don't you think it's inappropriate to be lying in bed together?"

Kylo wrapped his pillow around his head trying to shut the noise of her talking out. She grinned at his annoyance but stayed quiet and ate the fruit he had brought slowly. After finishing it, she tried to fall back to sleep. She tossed and turned, not able to get comfortable. She knew Kylo was back to sleep now she could hear his even breathing. She really could kill him in his sleep. If she wanted to. She realized she didn't have her saber even if she did want to. She finally rolled over away from him and closed her eyes.

When she awoke, the lights were on, Kylo was gone, and there was more food and drink sitting on the table beside the bed. Rey felt a hundred times better than she did when she had awoken the first time. Last night seemed to be like some weird blur of a fever dream she had.

She sat up and ate slowly. She felt surprisingly calm for everything that had happened to her the last few hours. She knew it was because she had no intentions of turning dark, she only said what Kylo Ren would want to hear to keep from killing her friend. Her heart wouldn't turn dark if the devil himself tried to turn her. Of that she was sure. But she also knew she had to play this game like a pawn in a chess game. She would keep her head down. Gain the trust of Kylo and maybe even some of his followers. Once they trusted her the tiniest bit and gave her that foot of freedom, that's when she would make her move. For now, she could act as a prisoner as she had been doing for days. It was easy enough. Sit around with nothing but her thoughts...for hours and hours at a time...forced to see more of Kylo Ren than she ever wanted to. She sighed.

Meanwhile Kylo walked through his ship, overseeing his normal daily duties. He decided to take a stroll down to see his prisoners. When he arrived he came to stand in front of the metal bars. Finn looked up and saw him and immediately charged the bars, grabbing them roughly, wishing they were Kylo's throat.

"Rey had better be safe," he said his voice dropping venom. Kylo stared at him unfazed.

"She's fine." He thought for a moment and a sick grin played at his lips.

"She's resting quite comfortably in my chambers...she had a long night after all..."

He saw the rage in Finn's face. Oh if looks could kill...

"He's toying with you, Finn. Don't let him bother you." Poe said sitting on a bench in the back of the cell.

"Haven't we met before?" Kylo said now actually taking the time to look at Poe.

"Yeah. You strapped me to a chair and beat me. It was a good time." He said rolling his eyes and turning to lay on the bench, facing away from him.

"That's right. The pilot. Hard to fly while you're locked in a cage, isn't it?"

Poe stayed silent. He knew better than to indulge this man and give him a reason to get angry.

"Speaking of flying...where is the ship you flew in on? We haven't found it anywhere yet."

"None of your damn business," Finn hissed. Kylo needn't bother with reading his mind, he already knew it was being manned by yet another resistance pilot. Probably staying somewhat close to the fleet, but not close enough to be detected.

"Don't worry. When we find it, I'll shoot it down quickly so your friend doesn't suffer."

"You won't find them," Finn said angrily, "they're smarter than you."

Kylo raised his eyebrows.

"You're probably right. Then again, I never claimed to be smart. Only strong. Oh, and I happen to have entire armies at my command so that helps."

"Rey will stop you," Finn interjected.

Poe spoke up this time, feeling how heated this talk was getting.

"Finn stop!"

"You think so?" Kylo said stepping forward so he was an inch away from the bars,He looked Finn up and down.

"That might be hard to do while she's tied to my bed."

Finn absolutely lost it, yelling loudly, shaking the iron bars, kicking at them, desperate to get to this vile man and kill him with his bare hands. Kylo simply stepped back and smiled, watching the chaos he had caused. He would have to come down and do this more often, he was rather enjoying himself. He was suddenly paged over head to come to the main command center at once, it was an urgent matter.

"Id love to stay and chat but, you know, duty calls."

He turned and left abruptly.


	10. Chapter 10

Kylo walked with that smug look on his face all the way up the control center where he was met with General Pryde and a group of other people all looking worried.

"What is it?" Kylo said quickly.

"We're receiving threats from a nearby planet that helps supply our small arms weapons," General Pryde said walking with Kylo over to the monitor so they could see where it was on the radar.

"What kind of threats?" Kylo asked calmly.

"They want to stop supply of weapons and pull out of the war entirely."

Kylo took a deep breath and let it out.

"I'll come up with a plan of action. Tell them I will come talk to their leader tomorrow." And with that he walked out of the room now frustrated they had this to deal with this.

As soon as he walked through the door, Rey could tell Kylo was frustrated.

"Long day?" She said without looking up. She was sitting with her back against the wall, cross legged, playing with a deck of cards she had found in a drawer.

"Have you been going through my stuff?" He said only getting more annoyed.

"You left me in your room with nothing to do, what did you expect?" She snapped back.

He put his fingers to the bridge of his nose and pressed trying not to lose his temper.

Rey spoke again, "so what has you in such a foul mood?" She thought maybe she could pry for some intel if nothing else at the moment.

"None of your concern." He said walking over to sit on the bed.

"Oh I'm sorry, I thought I was on your side now."

"We both know you just said that to get out of killing your friend. When you can prove to me you've actually turned, then I'll trust you."

"If you knew that's why I did it, then why did you stop me from killing him?"

Kylo thought he perhaps had never met such an annoying person in all his life at that moment.

"Because you're my project. I will turn you and prove my power to the galaxy."

"We'll see." She said simply continuing her card game.

"You know," Kylo started and stood up slowly making his way to where she sat on the floor.

"I have to appoint you into a position of power for you have any freedom here."

"Like you would ever trust me enough for that," she rolled her eyes.

"You have to prove yourself worthy first of course."

"You think making me your...your apprentice or queen or whatever you want to call it will make people think you've 'tamed' me or something? That if you could turn me to the dark side you could do anything you want?" Rey was standing now, staring up at him fiercely.

"That's exactly what I think," he said staring right back.

"Well you're wrong. I wouldn't bow to you if you were the last creature alive in the universe," she said fiercely.

"Then you will never have any power in this ship and you will simply be held as my prisoner until I kill every last one of the resistance filth, including your friends in the brig, does that sound good to you?!" He spoke loudly and angrily. Rey breathed hard, gritting her teeth. Kylo took a deep breath to calm himself.

"You could be so powerful, Rey. You have no idea what you, let alone the two of us, could accomplish."

"I refuse to kill and torture in your name. I'll die before I do that. When I told you you were a monster, I meant it. There's no light left in you, you've destroyed too many lives now. Your soul is gone." She said.

"Then why did you kiss me if I'm such a heartless beast?" He raised his eyebrows at her.

"I didn't kiss you," she said, Kylo looked confused, "I kissed Ben Solo. For a fleeting minute I thought you could become good. But I was wrong. It's too late for you."

She saw, for a split second, a flicker of internal pain in his eyes, but it was quickly pushed aside as he chose anger over it. Like he always did. She knew this was pointless and turned to get away from him but he quickly placed his hands on either side of the wall beside her effectively trapping her in front of him.

"Your attitude is going to get you in trouble. I could go down and kill your friends right now. You couldn't stop me. You think you're strong and know how to use the force, but you haven't trained like I have. You had a short time with Luke, I trained for years. Then when he tried to kill me, I learned from a Sith Lord. So you may want to hold your tongue." He said threateningly way too close to Rey for comfort.

"I'm not afraid of you," she said angrily.

"So you don't care what happens to your traitorous friends?" He backed away from her staring at her in silence a moment, "okay."

He grabbed his gloves and walked towards the door.

"Where are you going?" She said getting that sick feeling in the pit of her stomach.

"Well you don't care about them...and they are using valuable resources on my ship...so I'm going to dispose of them," there was no emotion to his voice. It was as if he was talking about the weather.

"You can't...and you wouldn't." Rey balled her fists up.

"Wouldn't I?" Kylo raised an eyebrow, and got to the door and as he raised a hand to open it, Rey charged at him. She caught him slightly off guard and before he could do anything, she had gotten a few good hits in on him. He immediately grabbed her, pulling her back against him yet again. But this time she fought back hard, frustrated tears forming in her eyes, screams of anger erupting from her. He was struggling to hold her and decided to lower them to the ground. She fought hard again, but found herself being held tightly, his chest warm against her back and breath on her neck. Frustrated tears ran down her face now, her cheeks pink from anger as they sat there.

He spoke in that calm manipulative tone she hated so much.

"You still think good will always prevail, don't you?" She turned her head away from his voice.

"You think I'll come to my senses and Ben will suddenly save you and let you and your friends escape...well I killed him long ago. He's dead, he died with my worthless father-"

"Han Solo was a great man!" She yelled and struggled again.

"He raised you, did he?" Kylo said sarcastically.

"He didn't need to. I could tell."

"I hate to be the one to tell you this, but you're not exactly a great judge of character."

"Obviously," she said, disgusted. There was a defining silence between them for a long minute before Kylo spoke again.

"Let's strike a deal."

Rey already knew she wasn't going to like this.

"I'll set your friends free. I'll drop them off on the nearest inhabitable planet and swear on pain of death not to come back after them."

"If?" She interrupted. She felt his hands tighten. He spoke softly, his breath hitting her ear.

"You give yourself to me."

Rey stayed silent, heart pounding and thoughts racing. Of course she knew what he meant immediately.

"Not emotionally...just your body. No fighting...no force...no games. You willingly do that...and you will gain some freedom. You do that...and you save your friends."

What could she do? She didn't have a choice. Well she did, but it would cost her the lives of the only people alive who had really cared about her. Kylo must have sensed her inner turmoil.

"I'll give you some time to think about it." His grip loosened and he made sure to run his hands down her arms before standing and leaving her there utterly in shock. She hardly heard the door close as she sat there, numb. Should she whore herself out for the resistance? Save her friends lives and give them a chance to get back to the others and warn them of what was happening? She knew they would be able to get help and even find her and get her out of this place. But she also knew that would take time. She could survive...if she could keep her temper under control and her mouth shut. She lay back on the cold floor and closed her eyes. She knew what she had to do


	11. Chapter 11

The next few hours she was alone drove her insane. She couldn't sit still, she felt sick to her stomach, she took a hot shower to calm her nerves, but it didn't help. She cried once but quickly made herself stop. This wasn't a reason to cry. This could be her way out. He said he would give her a bit of freedom too. If she could just be free to walk around the ship unattended, surely she could escape herself once her friends were free. She'd done it before.

She was sitting on the floor but jumped up as if she got shot as the door opened and Kylo came striding straight in still irritated about something.

"They think they can outsmart me? They think they can just stop supply to the first order and get away with it? If they didn't have so many weapons, I'd destroy them all right now!" he was obviously ranting and paying no attention to Rey. She wondered if she should stay quiet or speak. She knew how prone to fits of rage he was and didn't want to start that battle again.

He paced around lost in thought for a minute before he remembered she was there. She simply looked at him, staying silent, her arms wrapped around herself.

"Did you think about my offer?" He said sitting on his bed. She swallowed hard and looked at the ground.

"Yes."

"And? Do you accept the terms?"

She felt that sick nervous feeling again.

"You...you have to swear they won't get hurt." She said crossing her arms over herself uncomfortably finally glancing at him.

"I told you I wouldn't hurt them and I won't."

"How can I be sure?" She asked. He thought a moment.

"I'll tell you what...I'll let you come down with me when I do it. I'll even sweeten the deal and allow you to say goodbye."

Rey nodded slowly processing all this.

"Okay," she finally said, not truly believing what she was doing to herself,

"Okay...I'll do it." She found herself unable to look into his face. She was too ashamed.

"Excellent. I need a shower first then we can get started."

"Now?!" She said panicking slightly.

"Yes." Was all he said, walking into the bathroom, shooting her one last glance before closing the door behind himself.

To say Rey was panicked was an understatement. She had never felt so nervous about anything in her whole life. She'd always dreamed of her first time as being romantic and passionate...not her body being used by the darkside for leverage. Actually she thought she honestly wouldn't ever be faced with this at all. She'd always been so focused on surviving and seeing her parents again, sex was the last thing on her mind.

She heard the water turn off after a few minutes and the nervousness reached a new level. She couldn't look in his direction as she heard the door open. She instead sat on the bed facing the opposite direction of the bathroom.

Kylo came and sat next to her and a quick glance brought some relief over her as she saw he had a towel wrapped around his hips.

He turned a bit so he was facing her more. And placed a hand on her knee. She immediately recoiled and scooted slightly.

She glanced at him again, this time at his bare chest, looking at the ugly scar she had given him so long ago. He had several others and the one on his left side right under his ribs appeared to be the worst. Rey remembered Chewy had shot him there right after he'd murdered his father in cold blood.

"It's okay," he said very calmly, "you can look. Here," he grabbed her hand and placed it on the healed gash on his chest.

She breathed hard at the contact but didn't fight it.

"You're so scared," Kylo said, sensing it when they touched. "You don't need to be." He held his hand on top of hers. "It's just business."

Rey looked up at him. Just business she told her self. Just a trade, it means nothing. This means nothing.

Then why was she so nervous?

She knew this wasn't just business. This was his way of winning. His way of controlling her and the resistance. But she couldn't do anything about it...

He released her hand and slowly reached over to take her top off. She didn't know why, but she just kind of went numb and didn't stop him, instead looking at his eyes which looked intense and scanned hungrily over her body. He tossed the shirt on the floor and stared down at her bare chest for a minute, soaking in every detail. He didn't want to rush this after all.

Rey had never felt so exposed in her life. No man had ever seen her body, she had preferred it that way.

"Stand," Kylo instructed her. She hesitantly did as she was told and he pulled her so she was standing very close in front of him. Her breathing was becoming ragged now and she really tried not to look nervous, but she didn't know how well she was pulling that off.

Kylo ran his finger tips down her arms, to her sides, and gripped her pants and underwear tightly, tugging them down sharply so they hit the floor. Kylo ran his large hands all over her, causing goosebumps to appear all over her soft flesh.  
"Sit in my lap." He said. She froze for a moment, her body unable to move and do what he wanted.  
"I said, sit in my lap..." He stared her down intensely. She swallowed and climbed on the bed, straddling his toweled body. She was unsure what to do with her hands so she kept them low around his waist. His hands came to rest on her hips.

"Tell me why you're afraid," he said looking up at her, his eyes dark, hair a damp mess that framed his face perfectly. God this angle made him look perfect and her heart leapt for just a split second. Stop it, Rey, she scolded herself and looked away from his face swallowing hard.

"I...I'm not...afraid...I'm just...nervous." He sputtered out unable to talk properly anymore for some reason.

"Look at me." He said quietly. She did and that knot came back in her stomach.

"You think I'm going to hurt you?"

She searched his handsome face but surprised him when she shook her head.

In a split second he threw her back onto the bed and forced himself on top of her, toweled waist between her legs, arms on either side of her head.

"How about now?" He said lowly. Rey's heart beat like a drum and her breathing was fast and...excited? Was she really feeling excited right now? She really must be losing her mind...

"I told you...I'm not a afraid of you..." she said breathlessly trying to stay brave. Kylo gave a twisted smile and Rey suddenly found her neck being attacked by his mouth. Licking, biting, kissing...Before she could even react, he worked his way down her collar bone, down to her chest where he used a hand to knead at her breast, then brought his mouth down against her nipple, gently using his teeth to stimulate it. Rey kept her hands down beside her, but found her grip on the sheets was growing increasingly tighter.

"S-stop," she managed out, though her body screamed at her for saying such a thing. Kylo looks up at her, but his mouth continued to plant kisses on her skin all the way down to her stomach. Finally his hand found its way to its target. He rubbed gently and Rey squeezed her eyes closed, her stomach absolutely in knots but not wanting to show it. She had no idea someone else doing that could make her feel so good...

Kylo grinned at his work, she could hide her facial expressions but her body couldn't lie. She was so wet already, her hips arching slightly against his hand, legs squirming. Kylo didn't want to contain himself anymore. He wanted her right now.

He loosened the towel around his hips so he was free and pressed himself to her entrance. Rey still refused to open her eyes and her grip on the sheets was so tight her hands were shaking.

Kylo tangled one hand into her hair gently.

"This is going to hurt." He then yanked her hair, forcing her neck back sharply, and at the same time pushing himself into her. She immediately let out a loud groan of pain. Her hands snapped from gripping the sheets to digging into his back. The pain only excited him and he took a deep breath in trying to calm himself so he could let her adjust.

God she felt so good...

"Are you okay?" He asked, looking carefully at her face.

She nodded quickly. He gently rocked his hips into hers a few times, allowing her body time to get used to him. She seemed to relax just a bit as he moved slowly. Good, that would help her.

Rey had never felt anything like this in her life. It was pain, it was pleasure, it was unbridled lust she had never felt before...but she didn't dare show that at all. Business, that's what this is...god he felt so good though...She realized her hands were digging into his back but was powerless to stop them. He suddenly started moving faster, Rey's body seemingly arching itself to make it easier for him. His hand still tightly gripping her hair not allowing her to move her head. Her teeth were ground together tightly, breathing shallow. God the beauty of her made the lust in his belly rear it's head like he had never felt. His body was absolutely on fire and moving on it's own now, speeding up to a more pleasurable pace.

Rey made a few small noises but tried so hard to stay silent. He could see her struggling with it and it only made him want to try harder. So he did. She let out a moan of what could have been either pain or ecstasy and he didn't care which as he quickened the pace.

Rey's body was betraying her. She didn't want this to be a pleasurable experience, she wanted him to stay the bad guy and she could bury this away deep in her brain somewhere. But here she was, unable to stop her hands from digging into his flesh and her legs from wrapping around his hips. She was jelly under him, unable to stop him even if she wanted to...which she certainly didn't. Not with this void that absolutely needed to be filled by only him still bugging her.

A few more minutes of pure ecstasy and he was moving at just the right pace, she felt something growing inside her, that void calling out to her.

She finally opened her eyes and saw the man she was sure she hated stare at her with such intensity, surely his eyes would burn a hole through her. Her legs tightened around his hips, he was able to go deeper now, his own passion building as he watched her. It hit such a point as he went harder and harder, his hand gripped her hair tightly, he knew he couldn't stand it much longer.

"Finish now," he said quietly.

"N-no...no I don't-" but her words were lost as he caught her mouth in a deep kiss. He finally broke them apart and went even harder, unable to hold back any longer.

"Come on...I said finish," Kylo hissed in her ear.

Rey couldn't take it anymore, she didn't want to but she couldn't stop her body, it just felt too good...

Her muscles tightened and she screamed in pure pleasure, raking her nails down his neck. Her body shaking to her very core. The feeling threw Kylo over the edge. As she tightened around him, he allowed himself to finish with a low moan and a final deep push. He stayed there a moment, deep within her, not wanting to move, not wanting to break this moment they had together.

They both stayed still, panting, little waves of pleasure still flowing through Rey. Her hands had raked their way all the way down to his chest, leaving little red streaks down his pale skin, and she realized they were still there and quickly let go of him.

The sudden realization of the situation hit her and she pushed herself up away from him drawing her knees to her chest. He put the towel back around his hips and leaned back a moment catching his breath.

"See?" He said looking over at her, "that wasn't so bad was it?"

She didn't want to face her feelings at the moment or talk about what had just happened between the two of them.

"Our bargain?" She said trying to keep herself hidden.

Kylo stared at her and nodded.

"Alright." He stood and walked into the bathroom to rinse in the shower again.


	12. Chapter 12

Rey simply sat there, the shame and guilt hitting her like a brick. She had quite literally slept with the enemy...and that part she could handle...but she had liked it...she let him give her pleasure. How could she? She felt the tears sting her eyes as she buried her face in her knees. She felt so dirty and used, she sickly felt the heat he had released inside her spilling out and finally couldn't stop a few tears running down her cheeks. She was so disgusted at herself. Kylo came back out of the bathroom, this time with pants on and she grabbed her clothes and rushed past him wrapped in a sheet. She got in there and immediately turned the water almost as hot as it would go. She scrubbed and scrubbed, realizing how sore she was becoming. She let the water wash away her shame and pain, letting the tears of guilt flow freely, then as soon as she turned the water off...she quit. She couldn't let him see her like this. It would be a victory for him and she wouldn't allow it. Just business. It was just business she told herself over and over. And it was over with, she didn't have to do it again. Did she? What if he wanted to do it again and bribed her with other things...would she be able to go through with it? No, she would break out of here before then, that she promised herself. She stepped calmly out of the bathroom fully clothed, wet hair hanging around her shoulders. Kylo was fully dressed as well and was pulling his black gloves back on. He glanced at her.

"Ready?" He said.

Rey nodded looking at the ground.

"I'm going to take my personal ship to a nearby planet to discuss things with their leader. I'll drop them off first on the same planet. They will be able to barter passage off if they're smart. Or I'm sure the resistance scum that were with them will help them. Either way."

Rey knew they could pull it off. They had done crazier. Kylo grabbed his light saber clipping it to him.

"You try anything, your friends die. No second chances. Understand?"

She nodded again. Kylo looked at her a long moment.

"Come on," he said finally. He knew he wouldn't need handcuffs or the force to keep her with him. She wouldn't be that stupid when her friends were so close to freedom.

They walked down several hallways, down the elevator, and down another long hall, Kylo enlisting two storm troopers they passed to follow them before they reached the door that led them into the ships brig. The door opened and Rey ran immediately over to the bars. Finn looked up, saw her, and ran up to the bars smiling, Poe close behind.

"What are you doing here?!" He said. Kylo walked through the door behind her fiddling with a set of keys. Finn eyed him suspiciously.

"What's he doing here? And why does it look like he's about to let us out?"

"He is," Rey said.

"What?" Poe said, thoroughly confused now. Kylo opened the cell door but neither of them moved.

"What's he doing? Why is the door open?" Finn said.

"We're letting you guys free...dropping you off on a planet we have to go to."

"Wait a second...'we?'" Finn asked suspiciously. "As in the two of you?"

"Yes, Finn. I can't go with you. I can only get you out of here...that was the deal..."

"Deal?" He said still confused. Rey glanced at Kylo who held a stony face. Finn took a long look at Rey, really actually looking at her. Her hair was damp and messy, skin flushed, eyes red with evidence she had been crying. In fact she looked like she was about to cry again as she looked away from him, realizing he was working out in his head what had happened. He then glanced at Kylo who was sporting red streaks down the little bit of his neck he could see, his face also flushed.

"Rey..." Finn said in an unbelieving tone.

"Come on," she said wiping her face on her sleeve, "we need to go."

"No. No this isn't right. We can't leave you here with this...this..."

"Monster?" Kylo finished for him. Finn stared him down, now suddenly so angry he could hardly stand it. He shook with rage.

"Took the words right out of my mouth..." he said.

"Come up with something else. That titles been overused on me."

"Because it's true!" Finn yelled.

"Finn!" Rey cried bringing his attention back to her. She shook her head barely enough for him to see it.

"No, Rey! I'm not going to go with this maniac peacefully and walk freely onto another planet while he keeps you here to..." he couldn't say it, it was too painful, "do whatever he wants to you," he settled on.

"It's a little late for that," Kylo teased. Poe grabbed Finn as he lunged out of the open cell door at this cruel man. He'd never felt such anger in his life.

"Let me go, Poe!" He yelled struggling against him. Kylo and Finn seemed to be unwilling to break eye contact.

"Finn, stop! You can't win this fight!" Poe yelled, but he broke free of Poe's grip and just before he reached Kylo to punch him with all the strength he could muster, he was blown back by an invisible force. He looked up, even more mad at the man for stopping him. But it was Rey who had her hand up and pointed at him.

She spoke loudly, "just stop, Finn! I gave up so much to get you out of here!" Tears ran down her face now and Finn stared at her, still on the ground.

"You are trying to get yourself killed over something so...meaningless?" She said putting her arm down.

"It's not meaningless, Rey," he said sadly. She sniffed wiping her face again.

"Yes it is, it's meaningless just like this whole stupid war. It means nothing, it's just business."

"Just business...Rey do you hear yourself right now?! You sound insane! You're a human being, not a machine! You let him take whatever he wants so you can break us out of a cell? We could have figured out how to do that eventually without you!"

Poe helped Finn to his feet.

"Just go without a fight...please," she cried, "I don't want him to hurt you!"

"Oh, you'd rather him hurt you?" Finn said.

"This is very touching, but we need to go," Kylo ushered his storm troopers in who slapped handcuffs on the two.

Rey looked at the ground as the two walked by her. Finn angry and Poe just plain disgusted.

She really questioned her choice now. Would they really have made their way out eventually without her? She knew they were just saying that...they had to be. Surely it hadn't all been for nothing...she couldn't live with herself if it was...

She watched the men all load up into the ship sadly. She wondered briefly if he planned on leaving her completely alone when he left as there were no storm troopers or anything staying with her. They were on the ship with him.

"Come on," Kylo said to her not looking but instead preparing the controls to fly.

"Me?" Rey said.

"Yes, you. You think I'm going to leave you unattended? I can't even trust my own men to watch you, you'll manipulate them to somehow escape. So get on."

Rey was surprised but honestly knew it was too good to be true that she would have been left alone. He was right...she would have escaped. So she climbed on board as well. It was a tight fit but they managed. She looked around at everyone. Kylo was focused on flying looking stressed out, Finn stared determinedly at the ground not saying a word, Poe was leaned back and seemed to be zoned out. The storm troopers sat still, weapons at the ready in case one of them tried anything.

An hour or so later and they arrived on the strange planet. It seemed to be nothing more than a vast expanse of city. Buildings as far as the eye could see. They flew over all the towers and out to a little piece of land where there was only one building right in the middle of this land. It appeared to be some sort of hostile for other species as she saw all types walking around near it. Kylo landed them near the building.

"Let the men out," he ordered his storm troopers. They led them out and removed their handcuffs. Rey remained seated and Poe looked around at this strange new place while Finn looked sadly at Rey.

"We'll get you out of there," he said confidently. "If it's the last thing I do, I promise, we will see each other again."

Rey gave him a sad smile and the troopers climbed back on board, closing the door behind them. All she could do was hope they were right...

They flew a few minutes and landed near an enormous building with towers and more floors and rooms than she could count. Kylo got out and Rey followed, the storm troopers staying in the ship.

She silently followed him in, lost in thought, paying no attention to where they were even going, let alone what they were here for.

She glanced at the odd species that inhabited this planet, they were tall, grey, and honestly a bit unnerving. They spoke quietly and their eyes were pitch black. Kylo didn't seem to be afraid of them as he was confidently following one of them that must be leading them somewhere. It didn't matter to Rey where they went. She felt so relieved and yet so...sad.

They were led into a room with a big round metal table with chairs around it. There was a tall, older being seated across the table from where they were. Neither of them sat.

"Kylo Ren, why do you come here to beg for my help? I gave you my answer and I'm not changing it." He glanced over to Rey but must have decided she wasn't important because he looked back to Kylo.

"I'm not begging for anything. I'm here to discuss negotiations. We need weapons, you make the finest in the galaxy, and you decide to refuse to supply the order now? Are you on the side of the resistance?" Kylo says in his calm, cool tone.

"You know very well we do not take sides. We make weapons, that's it. But your demand for supplies is outweighing our resources. We can't build at the rate you use. Not to mention the ammunition you go through-"

"This is a war! You knew what we expected of you when we made our agreement. You told us it would be no problem-"

"Yes! Years ago when this first started! Now the supply and demand is too much! We're done! You will receive no more weapons from us! Good bye!" Kylo gritted his teeth. Rey had barely been listening, but a small shock told her he was about to lose his temper, and seeing as they were on a planet that made and supplied weapons, she thought it would be stupid to try and take on the leader. She knew she needed to calm the situation.

"Sir," she said looking at the strange man. "With all do respect, I think you will find the first order will not be going through as many weapons and ammo now. You surely could strike some deal that would only require you to make...say half of the demand as usual?" Kylo shot her a 'what are you doing' glance before looking back at the leader.

"Half...now half is manageable." He thought, tapping his long fingers against his chin.

"We would need to increase the prices slightly of course..."

"Of course," she said, "I think that's fair. Don't you?" She turned and gave him a smug look and he stared daggers back at her.

"Sir, if you will forgive her, she knows nothing of war and politics, I think you'll find we pay quite enough for these weapons already."

The leader spoke again.

"And I think you'll find the price of magnetite has gone up dramatically because you decided to blow up the planet that had the most deposits this side of the Milky Way, all to show off your power!" He said loudly. Kylo opened his mouth to say something she knew would be stupid, and Rey lay a hand on his arm to silence him and spoke up.

"We of course can pay what's fair, we understand times are hard right now and we had no idea what a hardship that would have caused you. Since it is the supreme leaders own fault," she looked at Kylo, "He will take responsibility for what he's done."

She knew Kylo was trying to think of a clever plan to get out of this but apparently he could think of nothing because he remained silent.

"You agree to this, young man? Half the supply, and I'll take it easy on you since you accept responsibility and increase prices by only ten percent. This is my only deal. Take it or find someone else."

Kylo breathed in and out deeply, not having much choice.

"I accept."

"Excellent, then I will gladly continue my partnership with the first order." The odd being turned to Rey really looking at her this time.

"It's been a pleasure miss...?"

"Oh, I'm just Rey." She said quickly.

"Rey? Well Rey I do hope to hear more from you in the future. Is she to be assisting you in all your future trades? I dare say she makes an excellent partner."

"She's only helping temporarily." Kylo said emotionless.

"Well you may want to think about promoting her."

"I'll...keep that in mind," Kylo said leaning forward to shake the mans hand. Rey shook his hand as well.

"It's been a pleasure, sir. You have a lovely planet. Some of the finest, strongest buildings I've seen." she added.

The man smiled and his assistant ushered them out and into the hallway


	13. Chapter 13

Kylo walked fast down the hallway, clearly angry.

"What's wrong with you?" Rey asked, jogging to catch up. He stopped and turned to her.

"What do you think you were doing in there? You were supposed to stand there quietly and let me handle this!"

"You we're doing an awful job at it and could have easily gotten us killed if I hadn't said anything!" She said angrily back. He stepped up in her face more now.

"You don't know anything about how war works! Your not my apprentice or adviser or-or even friend! You have no say in First Order business!" He began walking again, black cloak flying out behind him.

"So I was to let you threaten the leader of a planet that makes weapons and do nothing while they killed us? Is that pretty much it?" She yelled still following him.

"Yes! I was handling it!"

They got back in the elevator.

"You handled it like you handle everything else in your life! With anger! That's all you know how to do!" She said loudly, anger boiling deep inside her. He remained silent and when the doors opened, quickly got out and made for the door

"Now you won't even talk to me because you know I'm right!" They continued outside to the ship and Kylo opened up the door to get in, Rey following.

"You can't even face your own feelings! You bury everything so deeply down inside of you so you don't have to face it, that it eats away at you bit by bit and all that's going to be left soon is a hollow shell!" She slammed the door behind them and buckled herself into the co-pilot seat while the storm troopers silently sat listening in the back.

"I'm already a hollow shell!" Kylo yelled, starting the ship up.

"No you aren't, Ben, you have feelings and that's okay! Why can't you see that?! If you didn't hang onto all this rage, you wouldn't have been so easily manipulated by Snoke or Palpatine or anyone else for that matter! But you just want to sit here and wallow in self pity, throwing tantrums that cost people their lives, and murdering anyone that dares to make you feel anything!" She knew her face was red, she was beyond enraged, so mad at him for what he had done to her, so mad at everyone that had hurt him, because despite him being such a despicable human being, some part of her still cared about him and sympathized with him. And it pissed her off to no end that she couldn't just turn her emotions off for him.

Kylo stared at her, an odd look on his face Rey couldn't quite read.

"Are you done?"

"Not even close," she hissed staring him down. He closed his eyes tightly and opened them back up and took the wheel, flying them back up into space toward his ship. Rey refused to back down off of him.

"You think a leader means you need to be feared to be respected, that if you use the force on a few people everyone will give you what you want! And it's not true! Yes people will fear you and do your bidding, but behind your back you will not be respected! You will always have enemies waiting to slaughter you first chance they get because you've wronged them!" She turned around to the storm troopers who had been silent up to this point.

"Are you two loyal to the first order?" She asked loudly.

"Yes."

"Of course we are."

"Is it because you believe in their values or because you fear what will happen if you try to leave?"

The two remained silent, glancing at each other before putting their heads down. She turned back around to Kylo.

"You see?"

"I'll deal with them when we land," he said lowly.

"No! You won't! They have done nothing wrong and if you punished every one of your soldiers who felt that way, you would have hardly any left! Maybe your stupid...knights of Ren or whatever they call themselves...but other than that-"

"It doesn't matter what they believe!" Kylo yelled, "they are raised from birth to do their job and take orders without questioning me!"

"That's how you want to be remembered is it? You want everyone who speaks of you when you're gone to say 'oh that Kylo Ren, everyone hated him, we couldn't wait until he died so we could be free to fight under a leader that gives a damn about us'. Is that it?"

She felt his rage and how badly he wanted to yell and break this ship apart, but he gripped the wheel tightly instead surprisingly controlling himself.

Rey leaned back in her chair, gripping the arms of it tightly so she wouldn't punch something.

"I don't know why I'm even arguing with you about this like I can help. It's too late for you."

There was a long silence between them as they made it back to the ship. When they disembarked, the storm troopers quickly disappeared, and Kylo grabbed Rey's arm, dragging her back to his quarters where he was certain she would remain for the rest of her life if he could manage it. When they got there he threw her in and closed the door behind him. The adrenaline had worn off of Rey now and she was tired of yelling. She knew he was just about to get started though. She felt all the anger and pain rising to the surface of him about to boil over.

"You think I enjoy being called a monster and a bad supreme leader day after day?" He slowly walked up to her where she stood her ground.

"You think I don't hear what people say about me? That I don't know they talk about me behind my back? You have no idea what this is like! The pressure of every little thing that happens during the day resting on MY shoulders, if something goes wrong it's MY fault, if we lose a battle it's because I did something wrong! Everyone looks to me and blames me for every little thing that happens! Nobody cares about how I'm doing mentally, nobody cares I had to kill my own father just to get where I am today!" His voice shook and he blinked hard a few times.

"You didn't have to kill Han, Ben! You act like you had no choice but you did! We were all there and we all could have helped you!"

"Nobody can help me," he said struggling to control the emotion in his voice now. "Not my father, not my mother, and not you..." he turned around putting his hands on the wall, letting his head droop down between them. He breathed heavy for a minute then pounded his fist on the wall, yelling out in frustration.

Rey had never pitied him so much as she did right now. So he felt like he couldn't be helped...that nobody would even try. That he didn't have a choice.

He was starting to make sense to her now. She gave him a second to cool down then walked over to him and placed an arm around his back. As soon as she touched him he fell to his hands and knees, head still down, hair covering his face, sobs taking over his body. Rey's never ending sense of good told her to help this man. He needed her. No matter how he had hurt her in the past, they were connected and needed each other on a level they could not yet understand. She leaned down with him, arm still over his back, and placed her head against him, remaining silent. The feeling of grief and hopelessness coming from his very core shook Rey to her bones. He felt so alone...so abandoned. A feeling Rey understood all too well.

"You're not alone, Ben." She said. He tried to shrug her arm off of him but she refused to move. He calmed down a bit, his breathing evening out, and wiped his face. Eventually sitting back on the floor. He found he felt so much better suddenly. Like a weight was lifted when he showed his emotions. Nobody had ever seen him this way before, and he wasn't proud of it...but it helped to have Rey sitting here on the floor with him while he fell apart.

"Rey..." he said quietly, eyes cast downward.

"Yes?" She replied just as quiet.

"...help me become a better leader. People like you. When you talk, they listen. You know how to be kind when others aren't."

"Ben, you don't need to be a better leader, you don't need to be a leader at all, you need to go home and apologize to your mother."

"I can't," he said immediately.

"You can! You know she would accept you in a heartbeat!"

"No!" He said loudly. Rey sighed and sat there quietly a moment.

"I'll help you." She said, "but you have to be willing to take my advice! And you can't throw tantrums every time something doesn't go your way!"

"I don't throw-!" He glanced at her, "fine."

She grabbed his hand and he wiped his face again with his other hand.

"You tell anyone about today-" he threatened.

"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone you're human oh great supreme leader." She rolled her eyes.


	14. Chapter 14

Rey truly felt hope for the first time in a long time. He was beginning to trust her now...just a bit...his walls he had built around himself so many years ago starting to crumble. She could feel it. He wanted so desperately to be understood and have someone care about him and Rey really felt like she was the one who could give him that. 

It had been about a week since his breakdown and she had rarely left his side. Others may have called her a traitor for what she was doing, but she didn't see it that way at all. She had not joined the darkside and didn't plan to. She was still trying to help Ben find the light, just in their own unique way. She had to take her time and do this gently or he would push her away. Sure, she gave him advice and showed him kindness when he surely didn't deserve it, but that was in her nature. She had to help him. She just knew it.

It had been a fairly calm week to be honest. No attacks by the resistance, all plans running smoothly, no big tantrums by Kylo. Most of the crew ignored her presence, some of them talked to her. But the one person who still hated her was General Pryde. He hated the very sight of her and she found herself avoiding him as much as possible. She had a bad feeling about him in her gut that told her to have as little contact as possible.

Kylo Ren had been, dare she say, nice to her. As nice as he could manage anyway. They shared his room still, but he didn't try anything since that night that seemed like so long ago now. In fact he hadn't touched her at all. Rey wasn't complaining about that aspect at all, still a bit unnerved from the last time. 

This night was different however. Kylo slept very peacefully, lying on his back. But Rey couldn't sleep, she had found herself laying on her side watching him sleep instead. She looked over his face, it was so much more peaceful than she had ever seen it. She thought back to the very first time he had taken his mask off. She had been expecting to see some kind of horrid monster, but when he removed it...she realized he was just human. And not even an ugly one. It had certainly thrown her for a loop.

'Don't be afraid...I feel it too' the memory of what he had said that day echoed through her mind. She had felt it. A weird bond like they had known each other their whole lives as soon as he used the force on her. A pulling towards one another that they didn't understand. They came from completely different backgrounds, planets apart, and yet they knew each other.

She slowly raised a hand, considering using the force to peek into his mind just a bit...but if he awoke the trust she'd built so far would be broken. So she changed her mind and touched his arm instead. He was warm and soft...so human. How she could have thought he was some kind of literal monster made her feel silly now. She quickly removed her hand as he turned to lay on his side facing her now. She waited another minute for him to fall back into a deep sleep, then very quietly scooted just an inch closer to him. Then just a little more. She closed the space between them eventually and buried her head up under his chin into his chest, pressing her body against his as much as she could. Finally warm and comfortable, her breathing matching his own, she began to drift off to sleep.

Kylo opened his eyes sleepily, blinking a few times. He felt unusually warm and looked around to see why. He leaned his head down and his chin bumped into the top of Rey's head. He suddenly realized how close the two of them were. She had burrowed herself right up against him and sometime during the night, he had placed his arm over her protectively. He quickly removed it and lay there debating on what to do. He decided on quietly rolling over away from her. She immediately scooted up against his back and threw her arm over his side all without waking up. He was wide awake now, unsure of what to do. Surely she wasn't consciously doing this. It was because she was asleep of course. That was all. She probably just got cold.

He took a deep breath in and out and decided he should probably get up. He wasn't comfortable with kind touch, or any touch for that matter. Not to mention when he and Rey had any contact, his subconscious began pulling him to the light making it hard to concentrate and remain loyal to the dark side.

He sat on the side of the bed and stretched his back out, then stood and looked down at Rey. So peaceful...so pure...he envied her so much. He walked away to dress.

"Ben?" He heard her sleepy voice. He turned around. Her eyes were still closed, obviously not quite awake.

"Come back to bed..." She mumbled.

"Go back to sleep." He said turning back around to pull his shirt on. She must have fallen back to sleep soon after as he didn't hear another word from her as he dressed. He then opened the door, leaving her there asleep while he went to start his rounds.

Rey awoke about an hour later, not remembering much about last night, just knowing she missed the warmth of him. She realized he was gone and got up to shower and dress while she waited for him to come back to get her.

He was gone a good while and Rey started to think she would be left alone the entire day. But finally the door opened back up.

"Where have you been all day?" She said not looking up from the book she was reading on the bed.

"I have orders to escort you to the control center."

That wasn't Kylo's voice. She looked up. It was a storm trooper.

"Oh...okay hang on let me get my shoes on," she got up and pulled them on, throwing her hair in a pony tail.

"Too busy to escort me himself eh?" She said irritatedly to the trooper. He didn't answer. The entire walk to the control center was quiet. She was led through a door and into the control room. She looked around, she's never been allowed in here before... there were important looking people working, things beeping, holograms up with maps of the nearby solar systems. It was all quite exciting to see. But the one thing she didn't see was Ben. A voice up ahead in the room spoke.

"Ah, Rey. Excellent." General Pryde briskly walked over to her where she stood still, very confused now.

"General," she greeted him, trying to stay cordial.

"Won't you follow me?" He said and held him arm out for her. She hesitantly took it and he walked them, along with three storm troopers, to a room just down the hall and locked the door behind them.

Rey's stomach turned uncomfortably.

"What's the meaning of this?" She asked immediately. "I'm not to be out of the room without Kylo, he gave specific orders and he's going to be angry-" General Pryde interrupted her quickly, standing with his hands behind his back with a crazy look in his eyes.

"Let's get one thing straight, girl. I'm in charge of this ship, Kylo Ren May think he's the supreme leader but he has no idea who he's dealing with!"

"And what makes you think you're in charge here, General?" She said calmly. He replied quickly.

"I've been appointed by the TRUE leader. Fortunately for you, he's been dying to meet you. Unfortunately for me, this means my job and rank is at stake. So I'm going to offer you a deal. I accidentally leave this door unlocked when I leave this room. Maybe you see this as your opportunity to escape." He walked slowly around the room while he talked.

"There's a fighter full of fuel and supplies waiting down in the lower bay. All controls on, engine is started, and ready to go."

Rey felt numb with disbelief. She couldn't believe what was being offered to her. This was the chance at freedom she so desperately wanted.

"What are your terms," She asked, trying to look professional and not at all surprised. He gave a sly grin and spoke.

"You leave and go back to your home in the middle of nowhere. I don't want to hear from you or see your face ever again on my ship." He walked up to her and looked down at her.

"You may have Kylo Ren under your spell but I see right through you. I will not show this compassion again, you can count on that. Take this offer now or accept the fact that I will stop at nothing to protect my position."

Rey stood there a moment thinking things over. She was getting so close to getting through to Ben...but was it wasted effort? Was she working on a lost cause? She desperately wanted her freedom but now that it was being offered to her, she didn't know what to do.

"Out of curiosity, who do you call your supreme leader if not Kylo Ren?" She talked, trying to bide her time. She could feel Kylo getting close. Their bond's intensity getting stronger as it did the closer in proximity they were. He would realize she was here and she would lose her chance at escape if he did.

"It's of no concern to some worthless scavenger. It has nothing to do with you," he said harshly.

"Okay...okay I accept." She said, not truly knowing if she did or not but he seemed awfully keen on getting her out of here.

"Excellent," he shot her that creepy grin again. "Now as I said, this door will remain unlocked, I've ordered my men not to stop or fire at you. You get down to that bay without Kylo realizing you're gone, and you fly as fast as you can away from here. No funny business and don't try anything stupid. As I said, I will not be merciful again."

He walked out of the door, the storm troopers following him. The last one started to leave but stopped in the doorway staring at her. She could feel unease about something but she didn't know what.

"What is it?" She asked quietly. He glanced behind him to the other storm troopers marching along. He shook his helmeted head at her then pointed a finger to his head. She understood at once and lifted her arm to get inside this mans head.

Suddenly she was looking at herself and Kylo Ren arguing in the fighter through this mans eyes. When this stormtrooper had looked at her, she felt the sense of hope she had given him in that moment. No one had ever stuck up for him before...The scene changed and she saw a flash of General Pryde placing a bomb to the bottom of the fighter he'd prepared, grinning evilly up to his group of men. She broke the connection.

"He's rigged the fighter," she said quietly. He nodded and looked at her a moment longer.

"...Thank you..." she said, head now spinning at the information she'd been given. He nodded once and left quickly, closing the door behind them. This was what Kylo Ren never understood about people. A little kindness means all the difference in the world. She would have gotten on that fighter and no sooner took off than died in a fiery explosion. But now she was faced with another choice. She was unattended, not to be stopped or fired at, and Kylo Ren was growing closer. So what does she do? Does she rat General Pryde out to gain more of Kylo's trust? Or maybe she could make it down to the bay and steal a different ship...maybe she should simply go back to the room and act as if nothing had happened...so many scenarios rushed through her head. None of them feeling quite right. Kylo Ren was closer now, probably just down the hall. She couldn't exactly escape right out from under him when they had this force bond. She knew she had to come out of this room and work out what to say to him. She could deal with Pryde later, but ultimately decided she couldn't leave Ben here when she was so close to getting through to him.


	15. Chapter 15

Rey gave the storm trooper a second to get down the hall so he wouldn't be caught helping her, then quietly exited the door and turned to walk down the hall in the direction she knew Ben was walking.

Sure enough she turned a corner and there he was taking long strides down the hall towards the control center. He stopped dead in his tracks looking more confused than ever.

"What are you doing here?" He said, then finally got over the initial shock and walked towards her, when he got to her he placed his hand on her lower back urging her forward.

"You really think you could keep me locked in that room forever?" She said walking with him.

"And you didn't try to...escape?" He said carefully.

"No. I told you I'd help you and I will. I just want to be more included...you know...see what you do when I'm not with you and stuff..." She was making this all up as she went and knew how fake it must sound but she couldn't think of anything better.

"Rey," he said and stopped walking, grabbing her arm so she would spin around and face him, "who let you out of my quarters and why?"

"Is it so hard to believe I made it out myself?" She acted offended. He gave her that, 'seriously' look and then kept walking.

"I'll get it out of you later," he said and left it at that. They made their way to the control center and surprisingly Kylo let her in as well.

"General how's fuel supply?" He asked Pryde who turned to look at him. But when he saw Rey, the hatred in his eyes shone like she had never seen in anyone. Kylo wasn't paying attention to him and walked around quickly checking on everyone's stations.

"Just fine, sir." General Pryde said not taking his eyes off Rey. She smirked at him then began walking slowly around looking at things.

General Pryde certainly would not allow this. "Supreme leader do you really think it wise to let the enemy wander freely about our control center?" He tried to stay respectful but she could hear the anger in his voice. If Rey loved doing one thing, it was pissing off her enemies. Especially when they couldn't do a damn thing about it.

"General, I highly doubt she could see anything that would be of much use to the resistance by the time she'd be able to tell them about it." He said now leaned down looking at a monitor.

"Yes, General," Rey played along, "I wouldn't dare try to alert the resistance to anything I saw. I told Kylo Ren I would help him and I'm no traitor..." She stared intensely back at him, his face was growing red. She gave him a half grin. He was planning to kill her after all...a little payback doesn't hurt.

She walked over to where Kylo was leaned over the monitor and put her hand on his back as she leaned down with him, pretending to look but really glancing up at Pryde. Ben gave her a weird look but didn't move and continued talking to the person sitting in charge of this screen. She watched as Pryde clenched his jaw.

"What's this over here?" She said quietly to Kylo.

"Hmm?" He said looking over at her. She grabbed his arm and led him over to a different unmanned monitor. They came to stand in front of it and she got in front of Kylo, leaning down slightly to play with the screen a bit.

"Here," Kylo took the bait and leaned over her, placing her hand on the control.

"It controls the cameras on the entire ship."

Bingo. Rey grinned as a plan formed quickly in her mind.

Kylo didn't seem to notice what was happening and continued to show her how to scroll through and see all the cameras. Obviously happy to show off the ship.

"If you want to see the different floors you just click on the numbers here then scroll..." he went on. Rey turned her head so their faces were an inch apart. It took Kylo a moment to notice she was looking at him as he excitedly talked. He finally looked away from the screen and at her.

"What?" He asked with the smallest hint of a grin. Rey has never seen him smile before unless he was about to do something evil but this was a small, simple, boyish grin.

"You are really passionate about ships and flying aren't you?" She said grinning herself.

"Of course..." he said...a long moment of eye contact and they both looked back to the screen. Rey scrolled around on the different cameras.

"Say, for instance, I wanted to see the lower bay where the smaller ships are kept," she prompted him.

General Pryde interrupted immediately.

"Sir, this is really not a good idea I must insist!" He took a few steps towards them. Kylo ignored him, instead clicking around to find the lower bays camera. As he clicked on it a scowl came over his face.

"What's that ship doing ready to launch, I haven't authorized any fighter flights."

"I'll get my men on that immediately," General Pryde said quickly.

"Why don't we go check it out?" Rey said said nudging Kylo's chest with her shoulder.

"The troopers are perfectly capable-" his eyes caught Rey's. She was staring at him in an intense way trying to get his attention. He searched her face and understood at once.

"Yes let's...let's go see what's going on. General don't worry about sending men down. I'll handle it." Kylo turned to leave the room and Rey followed, while closing the door behind her, she shot Pryde a 'now your in trouble' look. He looked like he could have spat nails in that second. But he knew he couldn't lose it in front of Kylo so he remained quiet.

They got on the elevator to go all the way down to the lower bay.

"So what's all this about?" He said to break the silence.

"All what?" She asked innocently.

"You know..." he said hesitantly, "the touching...taking me down here...you're up to something."

"So what if I am?" She grinned, hands behind her back.

Just when Kylo thought he had her figured out she would do something like this. He wasn't sure if she liked or hated him at this point. He deserved to be hated...he knew that. He had done despicable things...things he never should have and that haunted him every night in his sleep. He let his own foolish human desires take over him and push him to do things he never would have normally.

"Listen, Rey-" the door opened and Rey quickly got out. He chalked it up to her not hearing him and followed her. They walked right over to the fighter and Rey stuck her arm under it.

Kylo was very confused.

"What are you doing?"

With a small grunt she pulled her arm out from under the ship, holding in her hand a round black sticky bomb. Kylo stepped forward, taking it from her and looking it over.

"How did that get there? And how did you know it was there?" He asked in disbelief.

"Lucky guess," she shrugged. He gave her a disapproving look. She knew something.

He disarmed the bomb and tossed it to a trooper.

"Put that back where it came from." He looked down at Rey,

"Who was supposed to be on that fighter?"

She stared up at him, she knew he already knew the answer.

His jaw clenched. He stormed back to the elevator, Rey jogging after him.

"Wait, Ben, where are you going?" She asked, but she had a clue.

"I'm going to kill General Pryde," he said. If she wouldn't have known him so well she would think his voice was calm...but she knew he was holding back a lot of anger. The kind of calm rage that only he could do so well. She followed him back towards the elevator.

"No...no listen, you absolutely cannot do that."

"Watch me," he said and stepped in the lift. She stepped in too, standing directly in front of him so he couldn't hit the button for which floor to go to

"You can't kill him, Ben. I'm not saying that because I don't want you to...because believe me, I do! But you can't. He's serving another master and will stop at nothing to stay in control. I fear if you start a fight with him he will call upon this other...person and you won't stand a chance." Kylo looked down taking in her words slowly.

"Serving another? His allegiance has always been to the order. Why would he have a change of heart now?"

"I think he's served this one a lot longer than you've realized possibly a lot longer than you've been around..." she said. He looked confused...but believed her.

"Is that why he tried to get rid of you?"

"I believe it is." She answered. He sighed looking away.

"So what do we do now?" He asked.

Rey thought a moment.

"We find out who he's been conspiring with," she said confidently.


	16. Chapter 16

Kylo had to admit, it was nice to have someone on his side that he hadn't threatened into it. He didn't know why, but Rey was really trying to help him. Maybe she thought she could turn him or something...or maybe she just felt sorry for him. Either way he enjoyed having her nearby and having someone honest to confide in. They hadn't gone back into the control room as Rey had informed him they needed to make a plan instead of going in and destroying things in a blind rage. He had hesitantly agreed. So instead he sat on the edge of his bed, head in his hands trying to think of a tactical approach to this dangerous situation that there was way more to than Rey realized.

Rey paced the room talking either to him or herself, he wasn't sure as he had stopped listening to her awhile ago. Yet she continued on.

"So if we spy on him I think we can find how he's been in contact with this other leader, then maybe get in contact ourselves and see how big of a threat he is." She tapped her fingers to her face.

"What do you think?" She looked over at Ben. He was paying her no attention.

"Ben!" She snapped in his direction. He looked up at her.

"Are you listening?"

"To be honest, no, you've had seven plans in the last three minutes and I can't keep up with you. Have you decided on one for sure yet?" He said moodily.

She looked at him disapprovingly, "I just gave you one, didn't I?"

"Something about spying...?" He shrugged his shoulders.

She sighed frustratedly, rolling her eyes, then went and sat beside him, cross legged on the bed facing him. He gave her a weird look.

"Did you just roll your eyes at me?" He sounded almost amused.

"Yeah...because you're impossible to deal with. I don't know how you've remained supreme leader this long without someone killing you out of pure frustration. Your attitude towards anything that doesn't interest you is absolutely-"

She hadn't realized how close Kylo had gotten to her until she felt his lips touch her own. Just a brief moment and he backed off, running a hand through his hair, exhaling deeply. She sat there frozen for a moment.

"Sorry," he looked away from her, an excuse, quick think of an excuse.

"I just didn't think you would ever stop talking."

"I...don't think right now is really the time..." she said. They made eye contact, him looking up with his deep hazel eyes from under his dark mess of hair. His gaze so intense and unyielding, Rey felt her heart flutter a bit too fast. What was happening to her? Was this what Stockholm syndrome was like? They held eye contact a long moment as if deciding what to do or who would speak first.

"Oh fuck it," she breathed out, a hand went into his hair and her lips crashed onto his. He responded immediately, kissing her back with such force it pushed her backwards onto the bed. She didn't care, her body was on fire, wanting nothing more than to taste as much of him as she could. He was on top of her, his hands in her hair, then running down her body, it was pure bliss she never wanted to end. Then he pulled his head back and closed his eyes, gritting his teeth tightly. She looked at him a moment realizing he was fighting with himself. He took a deep breath in and out and pushed himself off of her. She sat back up, now thoroughly confused and very disappointed. He sat with his head hanging, hands lost in his own mane.

"Is...something wrong?" She said awkwardly sitting up.

He spoke but didn't look at her, "No...yes...yes there is something wrong. With me."

"What do you mean?" Rey asked putting a hand on his back. He jumped as if she had stabbed him and took a few steps away, still not facing her.

"Ben, what-?" She was so confused.

"I'm a horrible person, Rey!" He yelled finally turning on her.

"All I do is murder and destroy and...and..."he glanced her body up and down, "hurt anyone that cares about me!"

"I know." She said. He gave her the most confused look, she stood, walking towards him where he seemed to be glued to that spot on the ground. "I know the things you've done and what a total dick you are. And I know you have this insane need for control because your entire life has been other people telling you who you need to be or what to do since you were born. But guess what...that not the real you. That's the you that the darkside created and now you're stuck." He stared at her. No one had ever put into words the way he had felt his entire life. Every bit of it was true. In that moment he knew she may be the only person that truly understood him. She knew his flaws and accepted him, still believing in him and not giving up and calling him a lost cause. Even though she said his heart was black sometimes...she never really gave up hope.

"What did you want to say to me in the elevator?" She was in front of him looking up at him with a fiery look in her eyes. He looked her up and down deciding he should just be honest.

"I...was going to say," he breathed in and out deeply, "...sorry." He searched her face, scared she wouldn't believe him or would reject him or say she hated him.

"I know you are," she said calmly and reached up to place a hand on his face.

She felt how horrible his guilt was when she touched him. His eyes looked deep and sorrowful, a look she had never seen in them before.   
He spoke softly, "I never should have forced you to make that decision. I was just...so...lonely...and you're so..." he made an indistinguishable noise and turned away from her again, obviously embarrassed. He pulled himself together, "I thought you wouldn't never willingly want to be with someone like me...I mean look at me? Who would? I destroy everything I touch! So I thought by giving you that choice it was somehow like you...deciding you wanted me. And it was great! While it was happening...afterwards I just felt...empty and racked with guilt..."

"Good. I'm glad you felt those things." His face fell a bit at her harsh words.

"Because the fact you felt them means that you are capable of empathy, and sadness, and caring for someone other than yourself." Rey saw hope in his eyes. Real actual hope as if he saw just a glimmer of the person he could become.

Rey took a step forward and wrapped her arms around him, laying her head against his chest. Ben hesitated, but wrapped his own arms around her. It was a moment of silent bliss. His emotions were so conflicted at this point he wasn't even sure who he was anymore.

But he was still hiding a secret away from Rey. He knew who the other 'supreme leader' General Pryde confided in was. It was only a matter of time before Rey discovered it herself. He knew because he himself had been in contact with him without Pryde knowing about it. Not recently since he had Rey on his ship because he knew what Palpatine would ask of him and he was selfish. He didn't want Rey to lose her spitfire attitude and fight like she had. He would love to have her as a queen, an equal in the darkness to rule with...but at the same time...he wouldn't. It was the light that he loved about her so much. So he hid the whole thing away, not ready to face it yet. But if Pryde had let loose she was here, he couldn't ignore him much longer.

"What's wrong?" She said quietly, pulling back to look up at him.

Damn their force connection, he couldn't hide anything. Women are too intuitive.

"Don't worry," he said and placed his hands on either side of her face. God he could stare at her for eternity.

She stood on her toes and leaned up to plant another soft kiss on his lips. She had never had a connection with anyone like this. When they were close, she felt as if they were one person. Two sides of the same coin. She thought she hated him, and maybe at some point she did. But he had grown on her the more she saw Ben in him. She knew he had wanted her as his own from the moment they met, but she didn't know his feelings ran this deep. She didn't think him capable of such things. Maybe all he craved all these years was simply human interaction, someone to listen to him and understand him. Something had changed in both of them and they felt it. They couldn't be part of this war anymore. They didn't want to hurt each other again...they couldn't...

Rey wanted to stay like this forever...with Ben's dark, soulful eyes staring at her like she was the only person in the universe that existed. His soft lips against her own anytime she pleased. His lean body available to her for her every whim. She felt physically hot suddenly thinking about his body...that crazy lustful feeling the first time she kissed him coming back.

"We...should get back to planning..." she said breathlessly. Ben felt the lust radiating from her...her every cell pining to be used by him. To be his and only his...god could he feel it so deeply it sent chills down his spine.

"I think it can wait awhile..." he said running his fingertips down her arms that were still wrapped around his sides. Her goosebumps gave him the reassurance he needed. He wouldn't force her into anything again. This has to be her decision this time. But he also wasn't one to wait...once he knew she wanted it, he would give it to her. Any way she wanted it and anywhere, as long as he could have her, he didn't care.

"What do you want me to do?" He asked quietly. This took Rey by surprise...she had never had any dominance over him before hard as she tried. She decided to start slowly...test the waters.

"Take off your shirt."

A simple demand that he easily accomplished. She placed her hands on his upper chest and ran them gently all the way down feeling his abs, around to his hips and crept back up his back. She was exploring and wanted to take her time, not having much control the last time they were together. Ben was breathing harder, she knew how aroused he was and that he would be putty in her hands. She took her own shirt off and tossed it aside with his, then grabbed Ben's large hand and brought it to her chest. He exhaled sharply as he felt the soft mound of flesh under his palm as he massaged gently. She looked up at him, her eyes so different than he had ever seen them. Dark and wanting, no, needing him. Rey took her hair down and let it hang around her shoulders, then slipped her bottoms off and kicked them away too. God how was he supposed to control himself now? She pressed her bare body against his, arms going up around neck, wanting to feel his warm skin against hers. Their hearts beat together, the force an excited buzz all around them now. She ran her hands through his hair, dragged her nails gently down his neck and arms, planted a few soft kisses on his chest. Fuck he was struggling to control himself, visibly trembling under her touch, his skin warm, breathing fast. He was more than ready. Rey's hands made their way to his pants and she slowly ran a hand over his noticeable arousal. Ben's eyes closed and he clenched his jaw when she did so.

"I want to feel it..." she said running her hands all around his hips and abs. He wasted no time and Rey even helped him pull his own pants down enough to free himself. She gently grabbed him with her small, soft hand.

A small hiss of noise came from Ben when she touched him and he found himself gripping her arms tightly. How can every small movement make him feel this way? He didn't question it, all he knew was he wanted her so badly right now. She did indeed feel him...running her hand down the length of him to the base and back again. After a few strokes she stopped. His body ached in protest. No she wasn't allowed to do that, he needed to be touched. He would surely die without it. Before she could do anything else he hoisted his pants up, picked her up, and threw her over his shoulder. She yelped in surprise as he did so, in response he smacked her ass, taking long strides to the bed where he tossed her onto it, kicked his pants off and descended upon her like she was his prey. He attacked her neck with his mouth, leaving wet kisses down her skin, anywhere he could reach. Her hands were in his hair again, god it drive him crazy when she did that. He came back up to meet her lips in a passionate kiss, only breaking apart when he needed air.

"I want you, Ben..." she whispered into his ear as he leaned back in to kiss her neck again.   
"Are you sure? I don't want to force you-"  
"Now, Ben." She looked desperately at him as he pulled his head back.  
That was it, he couldn't take it anymore. Ben was going to have her, and he was going to have her now. He flipped her over onto her stomach and grabbed her hips pulling them up to him, then pushed all of himself in at once. The high pitched noise that she made just made him that much more excited.

Rey buried her face in a pillow, trying so hard not to scream out, he pulled back and pushed back in again. Her body shook when their hips collided, she had never felt such pleasure. And what was better she allowed this...she wanted it. God did she want it. He slowly and deeply pushed into her a few more times before he decided to speed up. She angled her hips up even further, he filled her so completely and yet her body couldn't seem to get enough of this pleasure. His hands were on her hips, holding onto her tightly, pulling her into him as though she would try to run away if he loosened his grip. His hips moved faster, forcing waves of pleasure through her body and to her very core. He was hitting just the right spot, so deep, so delicious...she already felt that knot in her belly wanting to undo itself. She grabbed the headboard, holding on so tightly her knuckles turned white. Long moans escaped her lips, she couldn't control it anymore.

"Does that feel good?" Ben asked breathlessly, maintaining his pace. She seemed to be unable to form words but managed out a strangled yes.

"You want me to keep going?"

God what was it about his deep voice that sent chills up her spine.

"Y-yes...harder," she managed to say through moans. He happily obeyed.

As he pounded mercilessly into her, over and over again, she felt herself begin to tighten around him. A loud moan of pure ecstasy came from her as she threw her head back, every fiber of her being shook as she climaxed.

Ben felt her muscles contract around him and clenched his jaw groaning. His large hand came up to grip the headboard tightly beside hers as he braced himself. Fucking hell it felt sooo good...a few more strong, hard pushes into her and he felt himself coming undone. Rey's body was shaking, little yells and moans coming from her every time he forced himself into her. It made him insane. He pushed one last time deeply into her, her upper body now melting into the messy blankets and sheets and he finished hard inside her, unable to stop the groan of pleasure coming from his own lips. He collapsed on top of her, holding his weight off her with his elbows. He kissed the back of her neck and down her back. She was trembling and breathing hard, her fists still clenched tightly into fists holding the sheets. A few moments of only the sound of both of them catching their breath, neither of them wanting to move passed and finally Ben pushed himself up so Rey could move. She immediately turned over onto her back under him. He lowered himself so some of his weight held her down.

"I didn't hurt you did I?" He breathed out, his face inches away from her own. She brought a hand up and put it on the side of his face.

"No," she said quietly. The force bond was humming happily around them, both of them felt it. Together, they were balanced...strong. Ben leaned down and planted a small soft kiss on her delicious lips. She was just so beautiful...and she gave herself willingly to him. She wanted him, she understood him. It's all he really ever wanted.

"Rey...I have to tell you something." He ran his fingers through her hair as she stared up at him. He knew he had to tell her about Palpatine. The guilt would eat him alive and he couldn't hide anything from her anymore.

"What is it?" She looked up at him.

This wasn't going to be easy.


	17. Chapter 17

"Come shower with me first," he got up and grabbed her hand to pull her into his bathroom. The two of them rinsed off in the hot water together, stealing a few more touches and glances of each other. When they were done and towel dried, Ben pulled a pair of loose pants on and Rey stayed wrapped in a towel and they sat back down on the bed.

"Okay, now tell me," Rey said jumping straight to the point, not even wanting to dress until she knew what he was going to say.

"I...I know who Pryde has been talking to."

A concerned look crossed her face.

"You do? Who is it? Will we be able to defeat him?"

Ben hung his head, "no. And it's dangerous to even try. If Pryde told him you're here, you're already in danger."

"Me? Why? Why would..." but she paused and thought a moment, "it's him isn't it? Palpatine."

Well she certainly caught on fast.

"Yes."

"How did you know?" She asked.

"Because..." he felt guilty suddenly and pressed his hands to his face, then ran them back through his hair, "because I was in contact with him too."

Rey looked down taking all of this information in. Ben spoke up quickly before she could get any ideas formed.

"But not since I brought you here! As much as I wanted you, I didn't wanted him to be the one to turn you. I-"

"You wanted to do it yourself...seduce me and make me turn to the darkside so you could have me..."

Ben knew what he said came out wrong. He heard the anger in her voice.

"Yes...no Rey, it wasn't like that, what I meant-"

"You don't have to explain. It's clear now what this was all about. You were just using me to get what you want...again," she felt her eyes sting, "using me and manipulating me so I would like you, then you would try to turn me...and I fell for it. God I'm so stupid." She jumped up before he could see the tears fall and began hastily pulling her clothes on trying to hide herself from him as she did so. She was so disgusted and ashamed at herself yet again.

"Rey stop, maybe it started out like that but I promise-"

"Just stop, Ben," she plead pulling her shirt on, "you got what you wanted. I gave myself to you willingly and..." she swallowed back a sob, "trusted you. It was my fault for falling for this stupid game. Just take me to him and let him do whatever he wants. It doesn't matter anymore. I lost." The tears streamed freely down her pink cheeks now. She finished dressing and Ben sat stunned, unsure of what he could say or do to make her understand he didn't want to take her there. He didn't want Palpatine to corrupt her. He didn't want her to change...

"Rey-"

"Stop talking! Please!" She cried, "just take me to him! I give up! You win!"

She knew it was no use fighting what was destined to happen to her. It was in her blood...she was destined to be on the dark side. She wouldn't deny herself any longer.

Ben knew nothing he said would help right now. So he had to show her.

"Okay." He said calmly and pulled his shirt on. Rey refused to look at him but followed him as he walked from the room silently. She paid no attention to where they went and didn't say a word, simply keeping her arms around herself and trying to wipe her face off. They passed a few storm troopers which Ben ignored and Rey tried to stare at the ground as they passed, but she knew they were looking at her. She felt their eyes on her. They finally walked through a doorway and she lifted her head to see where they were. They were in the fighter hangar where the ships were kept. They walked up to a small, speedy, obviously old rebel X wing fighter and he opened the door. She climbed in and Ben leaned in clicking buttons on the dash but didn't get in with her. She shot him a confused look.

"What are you doing?" She said quietly.

"Putting in the coordinates for the planet I dropped your friends off in. You'll want to be careful around it's orbit the gravity of the planet is strong, but other than that it will be a smooth ride."

Rey sat stunned for a moment, "...what?"

Ben looked up at her.

"I'm letting you go, Rey. You need to get out of here. Far away where your grandfather can't find you. I can't run from my past, I'm in too deep...but there's still time for you. Your too good and kind and...you just can't turn. I don't want to be responsible for it, I refuse. So I'm letting you go."

Rey swallowed hard and more tears filled her eyes.

"You mean it? This isn't some kind of...trick or-"

"No, I promise you won't be followed by my men. You need to get out before General Pryde finds out though. He wants you dead so he can remain in control and won't stop until you are...unless you disappear. So go," he leaned back slightly. Rey searched his face for any hint of dishonesty...but all she found was his eyes full of pain. She knew at that moment he really had changed. He was no longer Kylo Ren. He really hadn't used her after all.

"Come with me," she said quietly. Ben shook his head.

"You know I can't. It can only be you. I have things to take care of here."

"But if Palpatine finds out you did this..."

"I know," he interrupted, "but he won't. I won't show him. I'll say you escaped and make up a vision to show him if he pries."

"Promise me you'll stay safe. And don't break the connection with me," she said sadly.

Ben swallowed. This was harder than he thought it would be.

"I promise. But I may have to try to keep the connection at bay for awhile until this blows over. If he sees where you are..." he trailed off not able to finish his sentence, it hurt too badly to think about.

"I understand. And when you're able to...you'll join me, right? We can be together then..."

Ben's heart ached. He wanted more than anything to be with her, no matter what she stood for or which side she fought for.

"Of course," he said, more to reassure himself than her. Rey strapped herself in and started up the fighter, clicking a few buttons.

"You can fly this, right?" He asked hopefully.

"I can fly anything," she said with a small grin and looked over at him. Physically she wanted to stay with him so badly...but she knew she had to leave. She wouldn't get another chance like this.

"Ben..." she had so much she wanted to say but couldn't find the words. So instead she reached out and grabbed his shirt, pulling him in and crashing her lips to his. He returned the kiss, placing a hand on her leg. They broke apart and he stepped back away from the fighter, closing the door as he did so. She stared through the glass at him a long moment, not wanting to forget his face, then hovered the fighter and flew it out into the vast, empty space. She sped quickly following the coordinates, jumping to light speed once to make sure she wasn't followed. The coast appeared to be clear and she soon saw the little planet and determinedly flew towards it. She didn't know what she was going to do or where she would go after finding her friends...but she had to start somewhere.


	18. Chapter 18

It had been nearly two months since Ben had let Rey go. She had flown to the planet, found Finn and Poe in the process of securing a ship to leave in, and together they made it back to the resistance all in one piece. Everyone was so happy they had returned, especially Chewy and Bb8 who had been wondering what had happened to them for a long time. After Finn and Poe hadn't come back to the pickup zone, Rey had found out they went back to the resistance and Leia had told them to hold off on sending reinforcements. Rey questioned this at first, even felt a little betrayed...but Leia had assured her it was for a good reason. She had felt the shift in her son and attacking would have provoked him and sunk him back down into the darkness. She told Rey she had known at that moment, Rey alone had to be the one to save him.

Rey lay in her cot reflecting on that day that seemed like just yesterday and yet an eternity ago at the same time. She wondered if Ben was okay. She knew Palpatine easily could have him killed if he found out Ben had been the one to help her escape. She knew she shouldn't worry so much about him...God knows he didn't deserve it...but he didn't deserve a lot of what happened to him either. She was torn on what to feel anymore. Sometimes she hated him and sometimes...well she couldn't face those feelings right now. She had to focus on other things and couldn't preoccupy herself worrying about him constantly. She got up and looked outside. It was sunny and humid out, a few others were already stirring and moving about camp. She decided she had better dress and join them. She walked out into the heavy air, the humidity almost unbearable already. Her home planet had been hot, but it was also very dry. The humidity always took its toll on her here and she hated it.

She helped the crew that was preparing breakfast as the others all began waking and coming to get their plates. Leia came out of her tent and took a plate from Rey.

"Did you sleep well last night?" She asked her quietly. Rey grinned and looked down but shook her head.

"No, General. But that's nothing new for me, no need to worry." Leia nodded slowly looking Rey up and down.

"You need to eat too. You're looking unwell. Why don't you grab yourself a plate and sit with me a minute."

Rey looked into her face and couldn't resist. She grabbed herself a plate and walked with Leia to an old wooden outdoor table where they sat beside each other. Rey sat her plate down and pulled her fork out, pushing her eggs around but not taking a bite. Leia stared at her a minute then spoke.

"I'm not as in tune to the force as others, Rey. But I have an excellent sixth sense and I know when something's not right."

"I'm fine, General, I swear. I just..."

"You keep thinking about him don't you?" Leia said with a soft look in her eyes. Rey nodded but didn't look her in the eyes.

"It's nothing to be ashamed of. We can't decide who we love...it just happens. Some even say it's predetermined."

Rey shook her head laughing nervously, "no, no...I don't love him."

Leia stared straight through to her soul. Dammit Rey never had been a good liar.

"Well I do," Leia said, "and Rey, no matter what happens, I can never thank you enough for showing him compassion and helping him to see the light. Even if he can't come back to it...we at least know we tried our hardest."

"He wants to," Rey spoke quietly, "I know he wants to. I just don't think he knows how. Palpatine will kill him if he tries I'm sure of it."

"I think you're right, Rey," Leia said sadly, "I just wish I knew how to help him..."

Leia turned and picked at her food. Rey pushed hers around on her plate more.

"You need to eat. You'll need your strength. This fight isn't over you know," Leia said noticing her.

"I know, it's just so humid it makes me feel...ugh."

"I know what you mean," Leia said. Rey grinned and took a small bite to appease the General.

"Hey guys!" Finn came and sat beside Rey, seemingly in good spirits. He grabbed his fork and dug in as if he was starving.

"Do you even taste your food?" Rey asked amused.

"Don't need to," he said with his mouth full. Rey chuckled at him. Rose came and sat beside Finn and a minute later Poe joined them sitting across the table.

"Hey guys," he greeted them, "fantastic weather we're having," he said sarcastically. It was only morning and already he looked uncomfortably hot.

"I don't mind it honestly," Rose chimed in.

"That makes one of us," Finn said finally looking up from his food.

"Aren't you gonna eat, Rey?" He asked looking concerned.

"I can't. It's just too hot out here it makes me sick," she said shoving her plate at him. He happily took it and started in on it.

"I understand that," Poe said pushing his food around as well.

"So what's on the agenda today?" Rose asked. Then the dull mindless conversation started about training and fixing a ship, someone needed to gather supplies, assigning lookouts.

"I'll gather supplies," Rey spoke up, "what all do we need?" The scavenger in her would be happy to go back to her roots. She always found scavenging very calming, mindless work. It's exactly what she needed right now.

Finn spoke up, "I don't think that's a good idea."

"Yeah neither do I," concurred Poe.

"What? Why?" Rey said confused. Rose spoke this time,

"Um did you forget last time you were alone you were kidnapped by an insane psychopath who could have murdered you?! No offense," she added looking at Leia.

"None taken," she replied raising her eyebrows and looking back to her food.

"Seriously, Rey." Finn said putting a hand on her arm, "it's not a good idea. I think you should stay in the camp with other people."

Rey stood angrily, "nice to see my so called friends have so much faith in me," she hissed sharply then turned and walked quickly off back into her tent. She emptied a rucksack, sticking a canteen of water in a pocket on the side, grabbed her staff she used for protection, then angrily walked back out into the sunlight.

"Where are you going Rey?" Rose called out to her. She didn't look at her and kept walking.

"I need some air," she said just loud enough for her to hear.

"Wait I'll come with you!" She ignored her and kept up her fast pace, heading into the jungle surrounding them.

Unfortunately she heard Rose jogging to catch up with her. She didn't want company but she found she just couldn't be mean to Rose. She was one of the only female friends she'd ever had.

"Listen," Rose started, "I understand you don't like being cooped up here. I don't either! But you know they are only doing it because they care about you." Rey remained silent and they walked deeper into the trees. It was more shaded here and felt a bit better than in camp.

"Finn told me what you did to help him and Poe escape or...what he thinks you did anyway. Is it true?"

Rey stopped in her tracks and looked at Rose incredulously. "You really have no filter do you?"

"I'm not trying to be nosy, Rey. I'm coming to you girl to girl. This is a mans fight and I know you could use a friend of the same gender. Is it true what Finn thought happened?"

"That depends...what does he think happened?" Rey continued to walk. If Rose wanted to talk about it she would have to say it out loud. Make herself as uncomfortable as Rey was becoming.

"He said that Kylo...that he thought maybe he...well that he possibly forced himself-"

"No he didn't force himself on me," Rey said quickly hoping she would leave it at that.

"Oh! Really? Because they way he spoke he was pretty positive you guys had...been together...intimately..." she trailed off.

"Yes. We were together intimately, Rose. But he didn't force me to do anything. He proposed a trade and I accepted. I made the decision, not him."

Rose stopped in her tracks.

"Excuse me, what?!"

Rey stopped and turned to her. There was no way to make this sound good.

"Rose, I made a business deal, okay?"

"Um...a deal in which you traded your...body for your friends freedom?" She looked absolutely astounded. Rey rolled her eyes and sat down against the trunk of a tree. She was sweating and her face was getting pink from heat. She grabbed her canteen and took a long drink.

"Rey, I don't know if you're too close to the situation to see what he did was wrong but he should never have proposed that! That was wrong on a whole new level!"

"I know that!" Rey said loudly. She was hot and irritated and tired of talking about this.

"It happened, it's in the past, he apologized for it and I don't want to think about him-" but her breath caught in her throat. Too late...she was thinking about him.

"I'm sorry," Rose said coming to kneel down beside her. She put a hand on her leg to comfort her. Rey tried her best to choke tears back but couldn't stop a few of them dripping down her hot face.

"I care for him, Rose. I don't hate him. He let me go you know...I didn't escape like I told everyone..."

"Okay...okay you care for this...psychopath...if you want to vent or talk or anything I'm here Rey. I just want you to know that."

"Thank you," Rey wiped her face and they sat there for a long awkwardly quiet minute.

"We slept together twice," Rey blurted out. Rose took a calming breath in and exhaled.

"Was that time consensual or was that a deal as well?"

"It was consensual. I wanted it." Rey put her head in her hands, "God I'm so...fucked up Rose."

"No you're not!" Rose said loudly immediately trying to comfort her. "You're not, Rey. You were manipulated and he got under your skin and you made a mistake that's all. You're not a bad person."

They sat in silence a moment, Rey trying to get her emotions under control. Rose would never understand the complexity of Ben and hers relationship. She would always see him as a monster. Almost everyone in the universe would. He's done too much damage for people not to. Rey took a few deep breaths to calm herself and wiped her face off.

"Come on. Let's get some firewood while we're out here," She said unzipping the large backpack. The two of them picked up smaller branches and chunks of wood they found and stuck as much as they could in the backpack then filled their arms too. They made the walk back to camp, both dripping sweat, panting hard. They dropped the wood off and went to sit in the shade beside a tent together and drink water.

"Thank you, Rose." Rey said looking over at her. Her cheeks were red from heat but she kept a resilient smile on her face. She admired her so much.

"No problem," she said grabbing Rey's hand. She may not understand Rey but she tried and that's all Rey could ask for right now.


	19. Chapter 19

Rey was too hot and tired to argue about leaving the camp again. She helped cook then fix one of the ships instead. By evening when the sun finally started to go down and give her some relief, she was exhausted. She sat by herself on the ground beside her tent eating a bit of soup that had been made for dinner, when suddenly a strange feeling washed over her. One that was familiar but she hadn't felt it in so long, it took her by surprise. She stood quickly, dropping her bowl of soup on the ground. She rushed into her tent for privacy.

"Ben?! Ben is that you?!" She said quietly. She was desperate to know if he was okay. She spun around, looking every way. She didn't see him.

"Do you hear me? Can you hear my voice? I can't see you," she said. Come on, Ben say something please...let me know you're still alive...

But there was nothing. No Ben, no anybody. The feeling slipped away as quickly as it had come. She thought perhaps he had just started the connection to check on her, but wasn't safe enough yet to interact. The thought made her feel a little more at ease. He was still alive at least...Leia walked into the tent looking surprised.

"Is everything okay? I felt something...strange," she asked.

"I think so..." Rey replied, "I think Ben just tried to make a force connection but couldn't get through all the way for some reason."

Leia looked at her a moment slightly confused.

"Okay...well if you make contact with him let me know."

"I will," Rey said. Leia left and Rey went back outside to clean up her mess. After that was done, she came back in her tent and lay on her cot. Her mind was running wild now. She hoped he was okay and not in danger. She had a knot in her stomach thinking about it. Perhaps in a few days she should try to reach out to him. If he didn't instigate it, perhaps it would be safer. That thought made her feel better. Yes she would have to see him, it had been long enough surely.

Rey did indeed wait patiently for three days. She couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, and thought nonstop of what could be happening without her there to help. She waited until nightfall when most people were sleeping or resting quietly in their tents, then sat on the side of her cot and closed her eyes.  
Please...please let me see him. Connect us like you have before. She breathed deeply in and out, calming her every muscle, trying to focus on nothing but the force. She finally felt a little flicker of that feeling. Come on nearly there...reach him, come on. A long silent moment of intense concentration.

"Rey?" Her eyes shot open. She could very clearly see Ben standing in front of her, as if he was really there. He was in his normal black clothes, dark hair more of a mess than normal and had circles under his eyes as if he hadn't been sleeping.

"Ben! I'm so glad that worked," she laughed nervously, "are you okay? Are you safe?"

"I'm okay, you?"

"I'm fine! We've all been so worried about you!"

He raised an eyebrow, "you all?"

"Well...your mother and I..." she admitted. Ben rolled his eyes. Rey felt irritated at this but pressed on.

"Where are you now? Did you get off the ship? I can't see where you are."

"I'm fine, Rey. I can't stay connected to you long. Palpatine has been keeping close tabs on any force activity. If he knows we've been connected..."

"I know and I'm sorry...I just had to check on you."

Ben's irritated face softened at her words.

"I'm fine...I promise...but no more connections until I contact you next time, understood?" he said quietly.

"Yeah, yeah," Rey said annoyed, "I thought the coast was clear because of when you tried to connect the other day."

"Wait, that wasn't you?" Ben said genuinely confused.

"What? No...I thought I felt your presence."

"I thought it was yours. I tried to talk to you but I couldn't hear you," he said, his eyebrows furrowed.

"Me too," she said. They stared at each other a long moment. Ben finally spoke.

"Well I don't know what that was about but...just don't try this again. Wait for me to connect with you."

"I promise," she said.

His head jerked quickly to the side as if he had heard something.

"I have to go," was all he said, and Rey felt the force connection ripped away from her as she looked around.

She was so relieved and yet...so confused. If it wasn't Ben that she had felt then who? Should she be scared? Should she tell Leia about this? She lay back on her cot and stare up at the canvas of the tent. She debated with herself but ultimately decided she would have to talk to her about it. The night was long, but comfortably cool. She tossed and turned like normal and when morning finally came, she couldn't wait to tell Leia that Ben was okay. She knew she would be relieved. As soon as Leia walked out of her tent, Rey ran up to her.

"I saw him," Rey said quiet enough for only them to hear, a small grin playing at her lips.

"Ben?" She questioned.

"Yes, he looked a little warm down but was still in one piece," Rey spoke. They walked towards the outdoor table together.

"I'm so glad to hear that Rey...I knew he would be."

They sat at the table, Rey jumping right into it, "He said it wasn't him trying to make the connection the other day that we felt."

Leia looked a little confused.

"Do you have any idea who it could have been then?" She asked the younger girl.

Rey shook her head. "I have no idea. Anyway, Ben said not to contact him again. Palpatine has a tight grip over the first order right now."

Leia nodded slowly, thinking.

"I think it's best the entire resistance keep their head down right now. With Palpatine back and on a rampage we could put everyone in danger if he finds out where we are. I just hope Ben doesn't change his mind about you."

"What do you mean?" Rey asked, realizing she sounded a bit too eager. Leia didn't seem to notice and answered.

"I just mean I hope all this time he's spending alone with Palpatine in his ear persuading him to find you doesn't change his mind. He's very easily seduced, Rey as I'm sure you know. He always has been. Han used to tell him he was too gullible as a kid," she stopped and grinned a moment as if remembering something funny.

"I'm sorry. It's really not funny now looking back..."

"It's okay," Rey said gently. This was her son, her only child she was talking about. Of course Rey knew how hard this must be for her. She decided to keep the conversation a little lighter, sensing Leia's sadness.

"I bet he was...quite a hit with the girls growing up wasn't he?" She grinned. Leia laughed.

"You don't have to humor me, Rey. I know his past doesn't mean anything to you-"

"On no! I honestly want to hear about him, I think it will help me understand him better."

Leia smiled and looked down at the table then looked back up at Rey with excitement.

"I loved him so much from the first moment I held him. He was born a few weeks early which was probably for the best, he grew like you wouldn't believe. Always the tallest kid for his age anywhere we went. His hair actually started out sandy brown if you can believe that. It got darker as he got older, I think he got that from Han's family line. He favors him so much." She stopped and smiled. Rey smiled back, resting her head on her arm watching Leia carefully. She would stop her if this got to be to much for her. But she knew how much venting could help sometimes. Leia continued after a minute.

"We decided to name him after Ben Kenobi who saved Han's and I's butts once a long time ago...and Rey he was the sweetest little kid. Always bringing me flowers he picked and bringing home strays. A little shy and quiet but sweet. His teenage years hit him hard. I think I pushed him a little too much once we discovered he was so in tune with the force. Luke and I wanted to continue the Jedi race so badly we didn't see what we were doing to him. He just wanted to be a pilot but we wouldn't hear of it. We just knew he would be infinitely good and change the universe for the better...how could he not...look at his ancestry! Sure Darth Vader was his grandfather, but even he turned good last minute. We never thought he would begin to explore the dark side when he began to use his powers." She sighed, "but that's exactly what he did. And once Snoke had his claws into him too deeply I just don't think he could figure out who he really was anymore. Snoke promised him power, leadership, riches, anything he could to seduce him. Then the whole situation happened during his training and that's when he made that fateful decision that he was destined to be dark. We didn't hear from him for months afterwards, we had no clue what had happened to him. Then next thing we know he's hanging around with these 'Knights of Ren' and changed his name. It felt like a nightmare...no one wants to see their child become that evil." Rey placed a hand on Leia's arm to reassure her. A few tears began to run down the generals face. Something Rey surly never thought she would see.

"I just want my sweet little boy back...but I know I can never have that."

"Leia," Rey scooted closer to her and took her hands into her own. The General looked up at her.

"I promise I will do everything in my power to get him back to you. I've seen the softer side of him, his heart is still there and I know he still loves you. I can feel it."

"He can't come back, Rey. He's done too many terrible things...society would never accept him. He would be assassinated the first time someone got a chance. I just want him to make peace with himself and turn back to the light before he..." she trailed off or able to finish her thought.

Those words hit Rey hard. She thought of Rose and how she talked about him...that was how everybody would feel. No one would trust him, no one would even want to give him a chance. She then realized why Ben hadn't come back with her when he had a chance. He didn't have a choice anymore. He literally couldn't come back to his old life no matter how much he wanted to. The grief overwhelmed her and she felt her own tears spill over now.

"Is...everything okay?" Rose said coming to sit across the table from them.

Leia wiped her face quickly, "yes were fine. Just having some girl talk," she grinned at the girl.

"Okay...just...looks like a funeral happened over here that's all..."

Rey almost laughed. In some weird way it kind of was a funeral...one for the Ben that could never be. Rey felt sick and mentally drained now.

"I'm going to lie down for a little. I'll do the training course this evening when it cools down," she said to the two women, now standing and heading back to the tent.

"Don't push yourself to hard, Rey, I know your not yourself right now," she heard Leia call after her.

Not herself. That was for damn sure.


	20. Chapter 20

A few more days rolled by, Rey was beginning to feel somewhat better, she was eating better and was able to complete the training course a few times, usually practicing early morning or evening and not doing much during the day. She couldn't help how unusually tired this planet made her. She chalked it up to the heat and stress. This day she had done the course in the morning and was now sweating profusely while she helped with lunch. The steam from the food made her feel sick again. She was already so hot from her workout and now the heat lapping at her face and chest nearly threw her over the edge.

"Are you okay?" One of the other workers said finally noticing her looking a little too pale and sweaty.

"You don't look too great-" before the woman could finish her sentence Rey began to sway, her vision going black. She panicked and grabbed at the table but it was too late and she hit the ground unconscious.

The next time she opened her eyes she was inside the medics tent, a place she had really tried to avoid. She had an IV with fluids running into her vein on her right arm and was laying on a cot. She blinked a few times and turned her head to see the medic filling out a piece of paper. She suddenly realized how badly her left arm hurt and tried to lift it up to look at it. It was bandaged up and tied with a makeshift sling so she couldn't move it away from her chest. She struggled against it a moment before the medic finally noticed she was awake.

"Rey! Glad your awake!" The young blonde said in an upbeat tone. Rey had never seen this girl before but than again she made it a point to stay away from the medical tent.

"What's wrong with my arm?" Rey mumbled.

"Oh, apparently when you passed out you pulled a pot of boiling water onto your arm. You're lucky it didn't get on your face! I have some burn cream on it and wrapped it up so you wouldn't move it around too much. It's gonna take a week or two until that starts feeling better it was pretty nasty." Rey leaned her head back and sighed. Great, just what she needed. Another reason for people to think she needs to be watched.

"I'm glad you're awake! I have a few questions to ask to finish my paperwork."

"Why do you need to do paperwork? We're on a planet in the middle of nowhere, do you really think someone is going to look at it?" Rey snapped sassily.

"I know it seems stupid but in my line of work you really have to document everything. Plus it keeps me up to date on what supplies I need. It won't take long I promise."

"Fine...go ahead," Rey gave in struggling to sit up and swing her feet over the side of the cot.

"Okay I need your age, any medical problems you've had, and any medicines you're taking to start with."

"Somewhere around twenty four, I've never been to a medical facility before, and none," she said rubbing her head, trying to stave the dizziness away.

"You...don't know your exact age?"

"Not really...I was about five when my parents left and it's not like I celebrated a birthday after that. I was a slave until I got old enough to take care of myself. But I'm somewhere about twenty four to twenty six if I'm doing my math right."

"Okay we'll just put twenty five to be safe," she wrote on her paper, "and you've never been examined medically?"

"Nope."

"Right...the slave thing," she said catching on, "well everything I've examined shows you're in very good health so you're lucky. And of course no medicines." She talked her pen to her chin.

"Okay now I need to know when your estimated due date is so I know how far along you are."

Rey literally felt her stomach drop into her feet. Her head shot up and she stared at the girl.

"Excuse me?" Was all she could manage out.

"You're due date...so I know how far along you are?" She gave Rey a questioning look.

Rey couldn't breath, her lungs wouldn't draw a breath in, her mouth hung open and she stared aimlessly.

"You...didn't know you were pregnant...did you..." the medic said slowly realization washing over her.

No. No this wasn't true. This was a cruel prank. Who was behind this because this must be a joke. But...the only person she had told about her relationship was Rose. She knew Rose would never do a thing like this.

"I can't be...I'm not...no that's not right. How do you know? There must be a mix up, show me the test," Rey demanded.

"I promise you this is real. I'm sorry you had to find out this way...I thought you knew...here is the test. It was just a simple blood draw we do routinely to check for diseases. We run pregnancies on every woman that comes in its routine-"

"Well I didn't consent for this!" Rey said angry and flustered.

"So you rather wouldn't know...?" The medic was confused.

"Yes...no...I don't know! I can't deal with...I need to leave..I need some air-"

"No, no, no, you need to stay here at least a couple hours," the girl gently pushed Rey back down as she tried to stand.

"No I can't. I have to go, I have to get out of this tent, I'm suffocating," Rey said her breathing becoming fast and panicked suddenly.

"No you can't! You need fluids and I need to reassess your arm! I know this is a lot to take in but you have to pull yourself together!" Rey lay back on the cot. Pull yourself together she said. She would try to do that.

"Breath deep, inhale slowly through your nose and exhale out through your mouth," the girl said slowly.

In slowly...out slowly...okay she can do that.

"It's just a baby. It's just a baby, right? It will be fine. I'll be fine. It will be fine..." Rey talked herself down.

"That's right," the medic tried to help, "everything happens for a reason. This baby is a blessing. It's a reason to be happy."

Okay lady let's not push it.

"Think, when was the last time you had unprotected sex? We can at least figure out how far along you are."

"It's...it's been about...almost three months now?"

"Okay good, it's still early then, you have plenty of time to plan things out. Is the father of the baby around?

"How's our hero?" Poe's voice broke through the tent as he looked at Rey and started walking over towards her. Rey fiercely pulled the medic in close to speak in her ear.

"Don't tell him please, I will when the time is right."

It was a plan Rey literally thought of in a second, but it was all she had. She most certainly couldn't tell the resistance she had slept with Kylo Ren. They would exile her and this baby. The medic nodded and looked excitedly as Poe came to sit on the edge of the cot and shook Rey's leg.

"Heard what happened, you okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine...just the heat," Rey said with a fake smile.

"What happened to your arm?"

"When I passed out I guess I took a pot of hot water with me," she rolled her eyes trying so hard to appear calm.

"Sounds like something you would do," he joked.

"Well you need anything? Want me to bring you a snack or some clothes or anything?"

"No, I'm fine. You go get back to training," Rey said smiling. The medic was staring at the two of them with a huge grin on her face as though this was the sweetest moment she had ever witnessed between two people. Poe noticed and looked at her a moment, then stood and with a final smile and nod to Rey, left the tent.

"That was him?!" The girl whispered excitedly. Rey gave a small fake laugh, "yep...that's him alright..."

"Girl you are so lucky...I've seen him around camp and he is so fine! Not to mention funny, smart, strong, and so brave!"

Rey smiled, "yeah that he is..."

she would have to tell Poe later about this but for now she was safe. The baby was safe.

The baby. She was going to have a baby. As the medic turned back to her paperwork Rey lay there thoughts racing. God what will her friends think of her. What will Leia think of her? She could fool most of the resistance but not her friends they'll know immediately. And poor Poe that she just dragged into all of this without him knowing. God it made her sick to think about this.

She suddenly thought back to all the times she had been sick the last couple months. Tired, nauseated, weak...and suddenly she remembered that spark of a feeling she had when she thought Ben had been trying to communicate. She had thought it was weird Leia had felt it as well...even Ben felt it as far as he was. It was the baby...it was going to be strong. It was already making its presence known. She glanced down, she supposed her stomach did have a small bump...it wasn't enough for others to notice but she had noticed and had chalked it up to not doing much around the camp. She thought she was simply getting soft from lack of exercise. God how was she going to break this to everyone AND convince Poe to play dad long enough for her to figure things out.

She lay there like she was told a few more hours and finally when the fluids ran out and when her arm had been reassessed and re bandaged, the medic gave her the clear to go but told her to be careful and no excessive physical activity in the heat. Rey promised her and got herself back to her tent without spotting anyone. The sun was going down now, torches lit for the only light as twilight draped over the planet. She prepared to change, taking off her shirt but stopped as she reached for a new top. She quietly placed her hands over her lower belly where the small bump was.

"It's going to be okay," she felt awkward talking to her own body but she had to...it made it more real.

"I'm going to protect you..." she said. She looked down and kept her hands on her belly a minute longer but decided that was enough and put her night clothes on.

It was very early the next day when she awoke, got off her cot, and threw a blanket around her shoulders. She could no longer sleep and laying there was driving her mad. She walked out and began to start one of the campfires for some light. It wasn't easy to do not having full range of motion in her right arm, but she managed. Once the flame was steady and strong she sat down on a log near it staring into the flames mindlessly. She had to talk to Poe. And she had to do it without other people around. She decided she had to do it now before the others starting waking. She crept over to his small tent and and peeked quietly inside. He was sound asleep, blanket wrapped in tangles around him like he was fighting it in his sleep. She crawled in and tapped his foot. Nothing, his light snores continued.

"Poe," she whispered and shook his foot a bit this time. Still nothing.

"Poe!" She said louder and hit his leg firmly. He jumped and sat up looking around.

"Wha-who is it...Rey?" He rubbed his face and sat up more.

"I need to talk to you," she whispered. He looked at his watch.

"I know it's early," Rey said before he could complain, "but it's really important and really private."

He looked so confused but sighed and nodded at her.

"Okay, give me a minute."

She stepped back out of the tent and heard him rustling around, probably getting some clothes on. Once he was finally done he ushered her back in. They sat across from eachother on the floor of the small tent.

"What's wrong?" He said.

"I...I'm in trouble," Rey looked at the ground.

"How so?" He asked concerned.

"You remember that day I got you and Finn out of Kylo's ship?"

"Of course."

"What Finn thought happened...well it did happen, Poe. I know you already pretty much knew that but I had to say it out loud so you'll believe the next thing I tell you." Poe squirmed uncomfortably, obviously not wanting to hear details about this.

"Yesterday...when I went to the medic...she informed me that...well..." she couldn't say it. She felt ashamed telling him because she knew how much he hated Kylo.

"You're not..." Poe started in disbelief but he couldn't finish it either. Rey looked up at him with sad eyes and nodded slowly.

"Oh my God..."

"Please don't freak-"

"Oh my GOD, Rey what...I don't even...what are you...Jesus-"

"I know...believe me I feel the same..." she said.

"Um...okay, this is okay...this is totally fine...umm...so what are you going to tell the others? You can't let every one in the resistance know your carrying Kylo Ren's heir...even if it wasn't your fault, not everyone is going to welcome it with open arms."

"I know...that's why I came to you," Rey started. Poe looked into her face.

"Ohhhhh no. No, no, no, I don't attach myself to any one person."

"Please Poe you don't have to do anything extra I swear all you have to do is claim it's yours! You're the only person here that looks even remotely similar to what this baby will look like!"

"Oh yeah except when that thing comes out of the womb four feet tall then people may begin to wonder-"

"It's not a 'thing'," Rey said feeling hurt by his choice of words. His eyes softened.

"I'm sorry, you're right it's your baby, but it's also half the supreme leaders and he's going to find out and he's going to do something terrible, Rey!"

"That's why I need you!" She cried desperately. How could she make him understand. "I don't know where I'll be in six months when this baby is born, I don't know if Kylo will still be alive or...what's going to happen." Tears streamed down her face.

"I'm scared...and I have to protect this child. You may not understand it but I'm all it has..."

Poe looked at her sad, scared, tear stricken face and felt his heart break just a little. Why did he have to be such a softie...

"Fine. I'll do it. I'll claim the baby is mine. Most of the resistance won't say much about it but you'll have to tell Finn, Rose, and Leia the truth. Those ones won't believe this story."

"Thank you so much, Poe!" She leaned forward and hugged him tightly. He hugged her back resting his chin on her head.

"Yeah yeah...your welcome. But you have to promise to tell them the truth!" He pulled back still holding her shoulders.

"I will! Today, I swear!"

"And!" He continued, "you need to figure out a different plan for when this baby pops out. The resistance won't believe this lie forever."

"I will, I promise! Thank you so much Poe seriously, I owe you big time! I'll try to keep it on a need to know basis, I'm not showing yet so most people won't even know. I'll play on that as long as I can."


	21. Chapter 21

Telling Finn and Rose later that morning went about as well as Rey expected. Finn just looked sad and disappointed and Rose was speechless for once in her life. They told them about the Poe acting as the father for the rest of the resistance in order to protect the baby and Finn actually laughed out loud in a very 'I can't believe this' fashion. Rose thought the plan was brilliant. Rey told both of them to keep in on the low for now and they both promised they wouldn't say a word.

Now came telling Leia which Rey had been dreading. She made Poe come with her to help keep her calm and to better explain the situation. She really had never appreciated him like she did today. No matter how much they argued in the past he really was as loyal as they come and truly a great friend. They decided to talk in the privacy of her tent and they caught her just as she was about to leave.

"General! A quick minute please," Poe said gently leading her back into her tent.

"What? What's wrong, what's this about?" Leia asked very confused as she was led back in. She turned and looked at the two of them.

Rey sighed she didn't even know how to start this conversation.

"Rey's pregnant," Poe blurted out not skipping a beat. Rey shot him a stunned look.

"What?" Poe said.

"Is this true, Rey?" Leia asked calmly.

"Yes...I'm afraid it is," Rey looked at the ground. Leia put a hand on her face.

"It's Ben's...isn't it?"

Rey nodded. Leia stared at her a minute then hugged her. She hugged back so relieved she wasn't mad. Leia pulled back.

"So what's he doing here then?" She nodded to Poe.

"I'm playing dad, apparently," Poe said.

"He's going to claim it so the rest of the resistance doesn't judge me or the baby. But I'm going to hide it as long as I can." Rey said.

"I see...not a bad idea, I don't know how the others would take this."

Leia then hugged her again and put a hand on Rey's belly.

"My only grandchild..." she said emotionally. Rey wanted to hug her and tell her everything would be okay...but she didn't know if it would.

"Poe, just promise if you have to keep this act up after the baby is born that you won't hold any of his fathers crimes against it," Leia said now turning to him and grabbing his hand.

"I won't, I promise. It wasn't Rey's fault she's in this situation and I certainly wouldn't take my anger out on a baby."

Rey snapped, "Poe! She didn't need to know about that!"

"Rey did my son...violate you?" She said now a worried look on her face. Rey shot a dirty look to Poe and he gave her an apologetic smile and stepped back out of the tent.

"Listen, Leia, Ben was confused. He offered me a deal to set Poe and Finn free and I took it. He wasn't violent, he didn't hurt me, and he even apologized for it later. I know I sound like some weak victim talking down what happened to her but I swear it wasn't as horrible as it sounds. I really did and still do care for him. And I would do it again if I could save my friends."

"Rey...I'm so sorry he made you choose that. Truth be told he's never had a girlfriend or anybody he really truly cared about and I'm shocked and ashamed this is how he chose to act on his feelings for you."

"It's fine, I promise. It's in the past and we've worked through it. I know he wouldn't do something like that now."

"I really hope not," Leia said staring into her eyes, "I'm glad Poe told me the truth. He never was a good liar." They both laughed.

A few hours later Rey felt so much better. A weight had lifted from her shoulders having told all of her friends. She only had to worry about telling Ben now, and though that thought scared her, she didn't think it would have to be addressed any time soon. She wasn't sure what to expect when he found out. Would he be angry? Would he love this baby like she already was starting to? Would he not want anything to do with it? She didn't want to think about it...the thought of this child growing up without it's father just made her sad.

Little did Rey know that moment would come sooner than she knew. It had been about a week now. She was sitting against a tree braiding a strand of rope just within sight of the camp. She preferred to be alone but close enough she could help if someone needed her. She mindlessly braided, almost bored out of her mind when she felt it. That tingle down her spine and feeling that she wasn't alone. She thought it may be the baby again for a split second but this felt too familiar...it was Ben. She could just feel it. She didn't stand but stayed quiet and looked around waiting for him to speak first.

"Rey, can you hear me?" She heard his deep voice echo throughout her head.

"Yes I'm here," she said, "I can't see you."

"I don't want you to. Rey...I need you to tell me your location. I know you don't trust me one hundred percent yet, but believe me when I tell you this is an emergency. I need to get there immediately. I'm badly injured..." he sounded desperate and her heart ached.

"Ben...I don't know if I should..."

"I can't talk much longer, he's going to find me, hurry, Rey, please, the coordinates...General Pryde is dead and I'm bleeding badly. I need your help..." if he was faking it he was doing an amazing job. She could feel the panic in his voice.

She debated with herself. Could she trust him enough to give him the entire resistance's location? What if he really was injured and needed her...what if he died because she didn't help him. She thought of the baby...their baby.

"Okay...okay I'll do it," she said and relayed the coordinates to him.

"Don't tell anyone I'm coming Rey okay?"

"I won't," Rey said knowing full well she had to go tell Leia immediately.

"I'll find your base and I'll land far enough away that we can meet secretly."

"Okay," she said bravely. The connection broke quickly and she sat there silent a moment. She was going to see Ben! She was so happy and yet...so afraid what she just did was a mistake. She got up and jogged over to Leia who was sitting at a table reading by herself. Rey leaned down next to her very close and whispered.

"Ben is on his way. He says he's badly injured. I gave him the coordinates to the planet..." Rey said guilt overwhelming her, but she pushed the feeling aside focusing on Ben.

"You gave him the coordinates?" Leia asked in disbelief.

"Yes, he's injured! I can't let him suffer or...die because he didn't know where we are...surely you understand that..." Rey pled.

"Of course I understand it but...do you really think we can trust him, Rey? I don't know if this is a great idea..."

"We don't have a choice I can't let him suffer because people are afraid. We have to give him a chance."

Leia gave up arguing but still was uneasy about the whole situation. She would just have to see how things played out.

A short hour later she felt the tingle again.

"I'm near some ruins north of your camp. Come quickly."

She heard the voice loud and clear and grabbed her staff and took off north immediately not knowing what she was going to come upon. She had gone a good mile into the forest before she finally saw a clearing with a small ship in it that looked like it had a rough landing. It was definitely a first order ship. Rey sprinted over to it and just as she came to the door, Ben opened it and practically fell out of it. Her heart swelled when she saw him for a brief second, then she realized he needed help and got up under his arm to help him limp over to a tree where she helped lower him down to sit.

He looked horrible.

She saw two bad wounds that immediately needed treated, one gash on his right leg and another across his chest around to his side. He was pale from blood loss, those dark circles still under his eyes.

"Jesus, Ben, what did this to you," she said breathlessly. Through a ragged pained voice he spoke.

"I...was attacked. General Pryde...he mutinied against me. Got a small army of troopers to turn and they got me when i was alone...I killed him but his men got a few good hits in first..." he squeezed his eyes closed and shook as he grabbed as his leg.

"Don't touch it, it's okay. I'm going to help. Here, stay still," Rey said removing his hand from the limb. His hands dug into the earth roughly instead and Rey lay a hand on his chest and closed her eyes. She let the force flow through her, taking calming deep breaths...focusing on his wounds...after a minute she felt her work was done and opened her eyes. The wounds were healed entirely. Just dried blood and ripped clothing where they once were. Even the scar she had given him across his face so long ago was gone now. Ben's breathing was slow and even now.

"How did you do that?" He asked eyeing her up and down.

"There's a lot about the force you don't understand," she grinned. Ben leaned forward and pulled her into a hug which she gladly returned. Rey felt so relieved. He wasn't here to kill the resistance...he really did need her. This would prove to Leia he really had turned. Rey pulled back and put her forehead against his closing her eyes.

"I didn't think you would come back..." she said.

"I didn't have a choice. I would have been killed anywhere else I went..."

Rey knew that to be true. She pulled her head back and stared into his deep eyes.

"So what now? Are you going to stay?"

Ben faltered a bit.

"I don't know if I can. The entire resistance is here and won't take kindly to me being here. I think I should lay low out here. Stay away from everyone for awhile and get some strength back."

"I understand," Rey said, "I'll sneak some supplies to you tonight. Until then just sit here and rest."

She grabbed a canteen from her side and handed it to him.

"Here, you need water you look awful. Sip on this and I'll bring food with me tonight."

Ben took the canteen and stay staring at her incredulously. She really dropped everything and came to help him when he needed it most. And now she was going to smuggle supplies to him. Ben felt a grateful lump in his throat.

"How can I ever thank you enough for trusting me..." he said emotionally.

"By getting better and letting your mother see you," Rey answered without hesitation. He looked down away from her.

"I don't want her to see me like this..."

"She doesn't care, Ben. You're her son. She needs her son back."

He shook his head, messy, sweaty hair swinging around his dirty face.

"Not yet."

Rey nodded, she knew he needed time.

"Fine. I need to get back before people start looking for me. Stay safe and I'll be back once everyone's asleep." He nodded at her. Rey placed a hand on his face and he leaned into her touch, his eyes were soft and vulnerable. She had never seen him look like this before...almost frightened...

"I really am glad you came, Ben..." they looked at each other a long moment then Rey grabbed her staff and took back off into the jungle.


	22. Chapter 22

Rey reported back to Leia immediately as soon as she returned to camp. Leia seemed very relieved that it was just him alone and he didn't seem a threat. But she remained on edge about it. She would have to see him in person to believe him. Mothers know when their children are lying, that much is true, and she would know if she could talk to him. Rey promised that she would be careful and bring her staff and a tracker bracelet with her whenever she went to see him to make her feel better.

"Did you tell him about the pregnancy?" Leia asked.

"No...it wasn't the right time. But I will I swear...it just has to be at the right moment," Rey answered, "he was weak, injured, and very shaken up already. I think he needs to focus on recovery first."

Leia understood that and applauded Rey on her selflessness and bravery.

That night Rey waited in her tent and listened as everyone began to go to their own and get ready to sleep. She stayed awake effortlessly as she never slept good anyway and the excitement of seeing Ben again plagued her. She had filled a rucksack up with supplies and food, secured an extra one person tent they had laying around, and tied a blanket to the rucksack. This should hold him over a few days at least. She wasn't sure if he had a weapon on him but she assumed he could protect himself should the situation arise.

She waited another hour after she had stopped hearing movement outside of the camp. She knew someone would be keeping watch all night so all she had to do was avoid them and she would be fine. She put the heavy ruck on her back and peaked out. The night watch was to the far left facing away from her poking at a small fire. She slipped into the woods as quiet as a deer, and began following her same trail she made last time to the ruins.

It was a long mile with the heavy pack and took her twice as long to get there as last time, but she finally saw the clearing and sighed in relief.

There was a small fire lit and a thick log on its side beside it. She walked over to it and lay the heavy pack against the log and looked around. She didn't see Ben anywhere. She opened the door to the ship and peeked inside but it was empty.

"Ben?" She said softly now getting slightly freaked out.

She suddenly felt long arms wrap tightly around her from behind and lift her off the ground. She yelled in surprise and fear.

"What do you think you're doing here?!" She heard a deep voice say in her ear.

There was a moments confusion before realizing who it was and she laughed kicking her heel into his leg. He dropped her and leaned over to baby his shin.

"Jesus you didn't have to kick so hard," Ben said in a mock hurt sort of way.

"You shouldn't have scared me," she said with a triumphant teasing grin.

"I'll do worse to you than that if you do that again," he shot a teasing grin at her. Rey felt her stomach knot up and chose not to acknowledge that statement.

"So...what have you been doing all day?" She said walking over to the ruck sack with him following.

"Mostly resting. I managed to make a fire surprisingly, I never was very good at it."

Rey began unpacking and Ben sat beside her looking at everything she brought. She had thought of nearly everything. As she tossed him a prepackaged meal, he opened it with haste and began eating ravenously.

"A little hungry, are we?" She said amused. He shoved his mouth full as she continued to unpack. She waited until he finished eating and began to unroll the tent she brought him.

"Help me set this up," she said. He looked at the small tent slightly disgusted and Rey could tell he wanted to say something demeaning about it.

"It's all I could manage, don't start," she warned looking up at him. He moved his jaw around a bit but ultimately decided to lean down and help. It was a quick set as the tent was so small. Rey then pulled the blanket off the rucksack and put it inside and they sat beside each other in front of it.

"There. Home sweet home," she teased pushing his arm. He gave a small half grin and stared at the tent. His expression was...Rey would describe it as...sad...maybe a bit conflicted.

"Everything okay?" She asked. He smiled and sighed.

"I'm fine," he said quickly, "um...thanks for the supplies. Even if it is...well..." they looked at the ragged thing in front of them and Rey laughed.

"As soon as we explain everything to the resistance and your mother-"

"You know I can't go back to my old life," Ben snapped quickly. Rey stared at him for a moment, a little taken aback. He tried to calm his voice down a bit.

"Sorry...but I'm only telling the truth. I dug myself into this hole and it's where I have to stay. I can't live a normal life anymore. I'll see my mother because you want me to, that's it. But I can't join you..."

"You don't have to sound so...heartless about it all...I was trying to be optimistic-"

"Well don't," he spoke harshly.

Rey wanted to argue back but decided she would leave instead. She got up and grabbed the empty rucksack. Ben watched her but remained silent.

"I'll try to come back in a day or two. Stay safe," and with that she marched back into the woods where she came from. She was about halfway back to camp when she felt the tears rolling down her cheeks. She stopped walking and wiped her face, but a wave of sadness overcame her thinking about how hopeless Ben felt and she let out a small sob that brought her to her knees. She shouldn't be feeling this way about him. She had to get herself together. She couldn't do much in terms of changing people's minds about him but she couldn't let him live in exile or die either. There had to be some in between ground they could achieve. She just didn't know what that was yet...


	23. Chapter 23

Rey waited three days to return. She was hurt by how he spoke to her and this was his punishment. She knew he was probably running low on food now though and she needed to bring him some. He drove her crazy, but she really did care for him. So she packed her bag with a few more things and waited for nightfall once more. She didn't tell Leia anyone she was going but wore the bracelet Leia had suggested to her and brought her staff. When she arrived at the ruins yet again, she found Ben sitting in front of the fire, his head on his hand, poking mindlessly at the flames. He heard her walking up to him and perked up immediately.

"You said a day or two, it's been three."

"I've been busy," she said emotionless. He raised an eyebrow at her. She ignored him and dumped her bag out revealing more food, snacks, and water.

"Thank you," he said sheepishly.

"It's okay..." Rey said looking away from him. He reached up and grabbed her arm.

"I'm sorry," he said, Rey looked down at him as he spoke.

"I'm embarrassed this is how I have to live now...and having you bring me food...it shouldn't be this way. I should be supporting you. This isn't how it's supposed to be between us."

Rey's heart swelled as he talked.

"It's not permanent," Rey said, "we'll figure something out."

Ben gave her a hopeful smile.

"Sit with me. It's been lonely out here," he pulled her arm a little. She gave in and sat, throwing the ruck sack aside. They sat in silence both staring into the small flame of the camp fire. Rey decided she forgave him for his attitude days earlier and slowly rested her head on his shoulder. He in turn brought his arm around and wrapped it around her waist so she could snuggle a bit closer to his chest. He was so warm and smelled like the fire and the trees surrounding them. He was wearing his pair of long black, (now torn) pants but had striped down to only one thin shirt that also had a rip in it from the attack. Rey kept her head against his chest and brought her hand up to feel the hole in his shirt and see how bad it was. It was pretty bad.

"I can stitch that up for you," she said softly.

"I would appreciate that," Ben said in his soothing voice, "whats this?" He touched the bracelet on her wrist.

"Just a tracker. So Leia can keep tabs on me."

"She doesn't trust you?" He asked confused. Rey was silent not knowing how to tell him.

"She doesn't trust me..." he said figuring it out on his own.

"She wants to, Ben-"

"It's okay...I wouldn't trust me if I was her either."

Rey remained quiet but took one of his hands into her own and rubbed it gently.

"I trust you," Rey said.

"You shouldn't," Ben said lowly. Rey was confused.

"Why?" She pulled back away from him.

"Because I've lied, I've murdered, I've tortured...and now I have you alone in the woods far away from your friends...I could do anything I want to you..."

He stared at her intensely. Her breath caught in her chest whether it was from fear or excitement she didn't know. All she knew was his intense gaze was focused on her and she felt that knot again. She decided to play along and see how serious he was.

"What...what do you want to do?" She looked from his lips back up to his eyes. He took a deep breath in and out, moving his jaw around, looking her up and down. He didn't have to say a word and she understood.

He suddenly stood, grabbing her wrist and pulling her into the woods. She felt a flicker of fear as he dragged her along but it dissipated as they came upon the bank of a small natural spring. He let go of her and pulled his shirt off over his head throwing it onto a stump. Rey soaked in the sight of his shirtless body. He was a bit skinnier than last time she had seen him, but still had those well defined muscles she ached to touch again.

"Take your clothes off," he said in that eerily calm voice. Rey smiled and bit her lip a little nervously, looking at him as if to ask if he was serious.

He stared at her unblinkingly, no hint of a smile. She looked him up and down deciding if she should do it. The look in his eyes told her she better do as she was told. She removed her top but left her thin binding on that covered her breasts. Then she took off her pants and shoes but left her underwear on. She wasn't going to let him control her too much at first.

"What about you?" She asked folding her arms across her chest.

"No. Now get in the water. I suggest taking your underwear off too unless you want to wear them back wet tonight."

She went to the edge of the spring and looked back at him. He had his shoes off and was rolling his pant legs up as she removed her underwear and bindings begrudgingly and quickly sunk down into the spring. The water was very cool and refreshing. She dipped her head underneath the surface and scrubbed her fingers through her hair to wash out any dirt or debris it contained. She broke the surface and took a breath in then wiped her eyes. Ben was sitting on the edge of the spring with his legs dipped in the water only watching her intently.

"Aren't you going to get in?" She asked washing her arms off a bit.

"I've already washed. I want to watch you."

Rey felt tingles of pleasure down her spine knowing he was watching her. She ran her hands all over her body to wash off as best as she could.

"Come here," she heard and she swam over to him, pushing her body in between his knees and held onto his legs looking up at him. He raked his hands down along her arms and looked over her delicious body.

"Come on...get in with me..." she ran her hands all over his abs and waistline.

"I said no."

"And I wasn't asking," Rey said suddenly jumping up and grabbing his around the waist unexpectedly, throwing him off guard and pulling him in.

"You'll regret that..." Ben said with a smirk. Rey laughed and splashed at him. He splashed her back twice as hard. Rey choked a little and wiped her eyes. Ben turned and went to hoist himself up out of the water but Rey caught him by the waistline of his pants and yanked him back down.

"Where do you think you're going?" She said playfully. He turned and grabbed her, pushing her back against the wall of the spring. Rey threw her arms over his neck and pulled her upper body up out of the water slightly to fiercely attack his lips with her own. He kissed back equally as fierce, one hand making its way to the back of her neck, the other bracing the earth at the edge of the water. They kissed a long minute before he broke them apart. Rey was drunk with lust now and wrapped her legs around his hips in the water, running her cool, wet hands all over his lean upper half.

"I told you I could do whatever I want..." he growled down at her, "...in fact, I could fuck you against the wall of this spring right now if I wanted to. Do you want that?" He spoke intensely to her, not taking his eyes off her.

God yes she wanted that...so badly she couldn't form words right now. His words had sent pleasurable chills throughout her entire body and she was gripping him a bit too tightly. He leaned down to speak lowly into her ear.

"Answer me..."

Rey bit her lip and squirmed against him.

"Yes..." she whispered back.

"Yes, you do want me to?" He clarified. Rey stared into his eyes and nodded her head. He licked his upper lip a moment staring at her like a piece of meat.

"No, I don't think I will...I think you need punished for avoiding me..."

What? What did he just say? But she wanted him...she wanted him so badly...

"Please..." she ran a hand through his hair.

"Resorted to begging now, have we?"

Rey leaned up and caught him in a deep kiss again.

"That's not going to work on me," he said. Well it was certainly working on her...

"Please, Ben...please. I need you..."

Those words drove Ben crazy. He closed his eyes a second and took a shuddering breath in and out trying to control himself.

Oh fuck it what was he depriving himself for.

He pulled his pants down enough to free himself and pushed into her without wasting a second. God the moan of pleasure she made was enough to drive a man mad...her legs were wrapped tightly around him, pulling him in even further, exciting him endlessly. She was so warm where as the water was cool all around him. He didn't waste any time being slow. Not this time. She was literally begging for it and God he wanted to give it to her. He placed his hands on either side of her upper legs to support and hold her still and she held on desperately around his neck. He roughly pushed into her over and over, both of them breathing ragged, water sloshing all around them, Rey moaned loudly in ecstasy and Ben brought a hand up to her mouth covering it.

"Keep...your voice...down..."He threatened slowly in a growling voice. She hardly heard his words, feeling nothing but pleasure ripple through her entire body. Words meant nothing as he kept his hand in place tightly and pushed into her over and over. He was filling her so completely...surely no one else could ever make her feel this way. And she never wanted them to...she only wanted Ben. His wild hair, dark eyes, intense personality, and his sex...Jesus she wanted his sex so badly. She could never get enough of him.

Ben felt his pleasure building up already, he couldn't help it she was too good...so perfect in all the right ways. He moved his hand off her mouth and down to her neck where he held on with just a bit of pressure. He moved faster and faster into her, one of her hands now tightly wrapped around the wrist he was holding onto her neck with. He leaned in close to her ear again.

"I'm the only one that can make you feel like this...the only one you will ever let fuck you, do you understand? Nobody else...you're mine..."

Rey tried to answer but she could only moan and whimper out a yes. He held onto her tightly and with a few more final pumps into her he let himself become unleashed, finishing deep within her with a groan of pleasure. He stayed still a moment, pushing himself into her as deep as he could. He felt Rey tapping at his arm that was around her neck. He loosened his grip realizing he was holding on a bit too tightly. She took a deep breath in as he did so and after she caught her breath she leaned in for one more kiss. This one slow and deep, wanting to soak every ounce of him into her. God she had to be insane...she just couldn't get enough of this psychopath. What was wrong with her? He pulled out of her and pulled his pants back up then leaned with his back against the wall next to Rey who was fighting to get her body under control. He glanced over to her.  
"what are you doing to me...?" he panted out, eyeing her up and down. She grinned at him slyly. After they both caught their breath, Ben spoke.  
"Come on let's dry off," he helped her get out of the water and let her use his shirt to dry with. They grabbed their remaining clothes and headed back to his camp.

"You should head back...it's late...or early depending on your view of time."

"I don't want to leave you," she said sadly.

"You can't stay here...people will be looking for you."

She knew he was right but she wanted nothing more than to fall asleep in his arms in the cool night air.

"Fine...but I'm coming back tomorrow night..." she said getting dressed.

"Whenever you want..." he said grinning. She pulled her shoes on and leaned back up in for another kiss. He willingly obliged and she broke it this time.

"Night..." she said grabbing the empty ruck along with her staff and jogging back into the woods. Ben watched her as she left.


	24. Chapter 24

Rey made it back to her tent safely, and crawled into her cot and under her warm blankets. She couldn't sleep though...her head was still spinning from her secret meeting. Something about this whole situation excited her. Like it was some forbidden romance. She rolled on her back and lifted her shirt up, placing her hands on her small belly. Some dark secret part of her relished at the idea of being pregnant with his child. It was almost intoxicating to think he had claimed her entirely in that way. A baby that was half hers and half Ben's...she grinned in spite of herself and closed her eyes. Eventually she succumbed to sleep, and for once, it was semi peaceful.

Poe Dameron looked at his watch. It was nearly noon and he still hadn't seen a sign of Rey. He considered himself responsible for her in a way now and she was always up by now.

"I'm going to check on Rey," he told Finn. They had just finished refueling a few of the ships and it was time for a break anyway. Finn nodded at him, getting a drink from his canteen. Poe walked towards her tent and slowly peeked inside. She was sound asleep on her cot, one arm above her head, the other on her bare belly. He instinctively tried to keep his eyes off her skin for respect for her.

"Rey," he called over to her, not wanting to step closer to her I'm this state. She twitched a bit and moved her other arm up over her head. Poe swallowed hard as she revealed a bit more skin.

"Rey!" He said louder. She opened her eyes just a crack and saw him standing there. She blinked a few times trying to comprehend what was happening.

"Poe?" She said confused.

"Yeah it's me, it's noon just thought you may wanna get up some time today."

She ran her hands through her hair and realized her shirt was pulled up almost to her chest and quickly pulled it down and sat up.

"Sorry...I'm awake now, I promise," she said sleepily.

"Okay...I'll uh...be out here if you need me."

Poe was never very good at small talk and quickly went back over to the ships with Finn.

"She okay?" Finn asked.

"Yeah...I think it's just the pregnancy hormones. She's more tired now you know..."

"Pregnancy hormones?! Who!?" A short stout middle aged woman Poe had seen around camp must have been right behind him when he spoke.

"Oh um...nobody...I was just...talking-"

"I'm not stupid you just went to check on Rey and are now talking about pregnancy! Oh boy the resistance will be so excited to hear! We haven't had good news for so long! Are you excited?! It is yours, right?" She asked smiling.

"Umm...yeah. Yeah I'm...so excited. I can't wait..." he tried to grin at her. Shit Rey was not going to be happy.

"Listen, if you could maybe try to keep this a secret-"

"Oh don't worry about me darling," she made a sign like she was zipping her lips up.

"Thank you," he said. The woman trotted away happily.

"You know she's going to go tell half the camp now..." Finn said, arms crossed.

"Yeah I know," Poe sighed. Oh well they were bound to find out sooner or later...

By the time Rey dressed and fixed her hair, everyone in the vicinity of the camp knew. She walked out of her tent and a small group of women surrounded her.

"Is it true?"

"Are you really?"

"Tell us, tell us!"

Rey was a bit confused at first but quickly realized someone must have let slip about the baby.

"Oh, um, yeah it's true," she fake laughed, "I'm really pregnant."

The girls squealed in delight.

"Oh a baby! The first baby the resistance has seen in so long!"

"And from two of the best members we have!"

"This child is gonna be a hell of a pilot!"

They droned on and on as Rey walked quickly towards her group of friends that were trying to hide the embarrassment their faces. As she approached them the group of rampant women wandered off talking excitedly.

"Okay who's fault was this," she said annoyed.

Finn and Rose both pointed fingers over at Poe who was biting his nails nervously.

She shot him a disapproving look.

"What?! It was an accident!" He said defensively. Rey sighed, there was no use arguing about it now.

"They think it's yours at least..." she said quietly.

"Exactly, see? Everything is fine, it's better it's out in the open now," he said more to reassure himself than her.

"You're lucky you're my fake secret lover or I'd kick your ass right now," she grinned. He gave her a dashing half smile back.

"Okay love birds lets get work," Rose said. "we still have a few ships left to refuel and one of them is leaking oil somewhere, Rey if you could get on that, your the only one small enough to get in there to look."

"Of course," and she quickly got to work. She liked staying busy, it made the day go by faster and took her mind off of everything. Plus hidden in the engine of a ship she couldn't be bothered by anyone else about the baby. She was a damn good mechanic and loved working on ships, quickly finding the problem and spending the next couple hours fixing it as if it were second nature, then came out to help carry heavy jugs of fuel to the last ship the others were working on.

"Rey! Put that down you shouldn't be carrying heavy stuff like that!" Finn said loudly when he spotted her.

"I'm fine, Finn, I'm not handicapped..." she rolled her eyes lugging the heavy container over to them where she handed it to Poe.

"Excuse me for worrying about you..." Finn said. He was hot and irritated, sweat pouring down his face.

"She's fine, Finn," Poe said lazily grabbing the container from her.

"Oh and you know that? You can guarantee that her doing manual labor won't hurt her?"

Poe, Rey, and Rose all stared at him. He never had angry outburst like this. Finn looked around at all of them and turned back to his work.

"Sorry," he said quietly, "it's just hot."

Rose spoke this time, "were all hot Finn and were all worried about her but we can't start fighting. We have to stay together."

"I know," Finn said roughly.

"And I'm not going to sit around, while you guys work, feeling useless," Rey added.

"Fine Rey!" He turned on her, "Do whatever you want! Maybe if we're lucky that bastard will die in the womb before it has a chance to become like its father!" He threw the wrench he was holding and stormed off. The three of them stared incredulously after him absolutely in shock at his words.

"He didn't mean that Rey," Rose said touching her arm.

"No, I think he did..." Rey said sadly.

Poe seemed to snap out of his daze and jogged over to Finn, roughly grabbing his shoulder to turn him around.

"You need to apologize!" He said angrily staring at Finn.

"No! I meant every word!" Finn yelled shooting Rey a venomous look. She stared angrily back at him. Poe pushed him.

"You can't talk to her like that!" He yelled. People in the camp were noticing the fight now. Finn pushed him back.

"Don't put your hands on me!"

"Then don't be a dick!" Poe retorted. Rose rushed over to them.

"That's enough! Finn, go to your tent and cool off! Poe, get back over here!" She said loudly. The two men stared at each other hatred radiating off of them. Finn broke away and stormed into his tent.

Poe walked quickly back over to Rey and ran a hand threw his hair.

"I'm sorry, Rey. He will apologize for that if it's the last thing he does." He said roughly.

"Just let it go," Rey said, "it's how he really feels. He was being honest."

"It doesn't matter he should never have said that out loud to you. It was disgusting." The three of them worked in silence for a minute. Rose went to take the empty containers back to the storage tent and Rey sat next to Poe on the wing of the ship they were working on.

"Thanks for sticking up for me," she said quietly.

"Yeah...anytime," he said and grabbed her hand.

"You don't want it to die do you?" She asked, "I understand if you do...I'm sure you won't be the only one..."

"No of course I don't, Rey! Look at me." He lifted her chin gently, "I'm serious! I'll defend you and your baby as long as I live. And I'll claim it as long as you need me to..."

Rey could cry she was so touched. She lay a head on his shoulder.

"Thank you..."

Rose came back and interrupted them.

"Aww what a beautiful family portrait!" She teased. Rey laughed and threw her oily rag at her.

"Well looks like we're done here for the day," Poe said standing up. He offered his hand to help Rey stand and she gladly took it.

"Thank god I'm starving," Rose said excitedly. They all washed up and met back up for dinner. Finn was nowhere to be found but Rey thought it was probably better that way. They ate, joked, laughed, and Rey felt her worries disappear when she was with her friends. She never felt more appreciated and at home than when she was with them. It was just a shame Finn couldn't join them. Rey went back to her tent that night more tired than she had been in awhile. She lay back and planned on waiting until people went to sleep to go see Ben again, but she closed her eyes and sleep overtook her almost immediately.


	25. Chapter 25

When she opened her eyes again it was morning. She sat up quickly and realized she had slept through going to see Ben. Dammit...she hoped he wouldn't be mad. She had meant to bring stuff to sew his ripped clothing up. She would have to try to sneak away and do it today instead. She had breakfast and found Leia.

"Hey, I need you to cover for me so I can go see Ben," she said quietly.

"Of course...couldn't make it out last night huh?" She teased.

"How did you know-"

"I'm a mother I know what all my kids are up to," she smiled. Rey gave her a half grin and gripped her staff tightly thinking for a moment.

"Come with me..." she said before she could stop herself.

"I can't, Rey...he doesn't want to see me..." she said sadly.

"He does! He told me he would see you at least once before...before he goes wherever he's going. He promised me. He's got his strength back and seems to be much better mentally. It's the perfect day to see him. Please."

Rey asked grabbing Leia's hand. The older woman looked very unsure and like she might cry.

"I know it will make him feel better...it will give both of you closure...plus his shirt and pants needs stitched and I'm not very good at sewing," she added to relieve the tension. Leia looked down and smiled.

"Okay...okay fine let's go." She finally gave in, "If he's unhappy to see me I'm blaming you though!" She threatened.

"Deal," Rey smiled. Leia made up some excuse for them not to be followed and together the two women walked into the jungle together.

Finn watched them from afar. He knew there was something weird going on but he didn't know what. Poe and Rose may chose to be blind to it, but he wasn't...

The walk with Leia was slow, she wasn't as spry as she used to be. Rey didn't mind as she loved spending time with her and listening to her stories and wise advice. Finally they were close and Rey spotted Ben laying flat on his back with his hands under his head on the ground. He must have heard her footsteps and without looking up spoke.

"I was starting to think you forgot about me."

Rey and Leia stepped into the clearing and Ben turned his head grinning to look at her. As soon as he lay eyes on Leia he scrambled to stand. He didn't say a word but Leia remained focused on him and Rey hung back as she walked towards her son. Leia slowly made her way to him and stood in front of him for a moment. Ben looked slightly uncomfortable and ashamed and glanced from Rey back to his mother.

"Ben..." Leia said and leaned in to hug him around the waist.

"Mom..." He said and hugged her back tightly.

"I'm so sorry," he said tears now welling up in his eyes as he hugged the short woman.

"Shh, lets not talk about the past. I want to see you...it's been so long..." she pulled back and looked him up and down soaking him in.

"You've gotten so tall..." she said and reached up to place a hand on his face.

"But still so handsome like your father...though you could do with a shave...your looking a little rugged." Ben gave a small sad laugh and placed his hand on top of his mother's.

"You're still exactly as I remember you," he said. Another minute of staring between the two and they all went to sit around the fire. Rey on one side of Ben with his mother on the other side.

"Why don't you let me work on your shirt. It looks terrible," Leia said. Rey handed her the sewing kit she had in her pocket and Ben removed his shirt handing it to his mother who began to work on it.

"I'm proud of you," Rey said quietly to Ben as his mother got started.

"You could have warned me," he whispered. She shrugged at him grinning.

He rolled his eyes smiling and looked back to his mother.

They sat quietly as she worked and when she was done he put his shirt back on.

"Thanks," he said admiring his moms handy work.

"I should go..." Leia said after a few minutes.

"You don't have to..." Rey said.

"No no, this is valuable time you two need together and I'm just the mother hanging over you," she smiled.

"I can walk you back," Rey said standing.

"Rey, I'm fine, I can take a walk in the woods by myself I promise. Just don't stay out too late I can't cover for you forever."

Rey smiled, "I promise." Leia hugged her son again and kissed his forehead.

"It was so good to see you Ben. You've given this old woman peace," She said looking at him as if he were the most precious thing in the world. Rey hoped one day her child would look at her the same way Ben looked as his mother so lovingly. She shifted uncomfortably as she realized she had to tell Ben soon. She would start visibly showing more and wouldn't be able to make excuses. They both stood at the edge of the trees to make sure Leia made it safely back into the jungle until they could no longer see her.

"Thank you...for bringing her I mean..." Ben said sheepishly. Rey smiled at him and he wrapped an arm around her.

"There's something really important I need to talk to you about..." Rey started. He looked over her concerned.

"What is it?" He prompted when she froze up and couldn't seem to speak.

"What the hell is this?!" Rey heard a loud familiar voice behind them. They both spun around instantly. Finn stood a few feet away in the jungle.

"Finn," Rey looked from him to Ben and back, Ben's fists were clenched, ready to fight like always. Rey raised her hands in a non threatening manner and took a few steps towards him.

"It's okay, Finn. He's not going to hurt anyone. Please come here and let's talk..."

"Are you out of your damn mind Rey?! Get over here away from that creature!"

"Stop!" Rey said firmly, "if you would just listen for a minute-"

"No! I'm done listening! This man has tried to kill nearly every one of your friends, succeeded in killing his own father! And here you are just cuddled up to him in the middle of the jungle?! Like he's your secret boyfriend or something?!"

"I can prove he's changed!" Rey yelled desperately.

"I don't give a damn if he single handedly saved an entire planet full of burning children, Rey! I will never trust him and you shouldn't either! He's killed thousands...no millions of people and that's okay with you?! You can just forget everything in his past?!

"Yes! I can!" Rey yelled. Finn shook his head unable to fully comprehend what was happening right now.

"I knew it..." he said walking out of the jungle closer to them, "I knew there was something fishy going on, I knew you weren't yourself, and I knew he wouldn't leave you alone!"

"It's not like that!"

"Is it because you feel obligated?!" Finn continued harshly, "Poe wasn't a good enough stand in dad? You had to bring it's worthless father here to fill some kind of empty void in your life?! Do you really think you guys can be a normal family?! Because that's pretty fucked up, Rey! And you put yourself and that child in danger just by being here with him!"

Rey stood breathing hard, tears in her eyes, fists clenched in frustration.

"What's he talking about? What child?" Ben said not taking his eyes off Finn.

"Oh, you didn't tell him?!" Finn said almost laughing.

"Well let me be the first to congratulate you on your rape baby supreme leader! Father of the year right here everybody!" Finn yelled looking around as if talking to a crowd.

"Shut up," Rey said, her face red and anger coursing through her.

"Why? You don't like to hear that out loud?! Were you trying to forget that he kidnapped and forced himself on you?!"

Rey threw her hand up without thinking, red hot anger coursing through her veins. The force caught Finn around his neck and his breath caught in his throat. Rey ground her teeth together focusing all her energy on hurting him. She wanted to crush his neck...

"Rey..." Ben tried to bring her back down.

"Rey, you're suffocating him, it's time to stop," Ben said calmly. She ignored him. He slowly stepped towards her with his hands up and she watched him from the corner of her eye. He placed a hand on her outstretched arm and gently lowered it down, breaking her concentration. Finn fell to the ground gasping and choking. Hot tears fell from Rey's eyes and a sob shook through her body. Ben grabbed her and pulled her into his chest where she clung onto him desperately and cried into his mended shirt.

"Get out of here..." Ben said to Finn as the man tried to get back up to his feet, but stumbled, his eyes slightly bloodshot.

"You two...are perfect...for each other..." he choked out, "your both fucking...insane."

"Get out of here!" Ben yelled fiercely taking a step towards him.

"What's going on!?"

Rey heard another familiar voice. It was Rose. She must have followed Finn here when she noticed him leave camp. Rey couldn't bring herself to look at her friend and stayed buried in Ben's chest with his arm protectively around her.

"Finn are you okay?!" Rose ran over to her friend who was holding his neck and coughing. She helped him up and stared at the odd scene before her.

"Oh, Rey...what have you done..." she said gently.

"She did nothing wrong!" Ben defended her, "he said horrible things to her and she defended herself."

"Id like to speak to Rey alone," Rose said bravely after assessing the situation.

"No, Rose, I can't..." Rey spoke.

"She doesn't want to," Ben said roughly.

"Listen," she took a few steps closer to the tall intimidating man. She refused to be scared of him but remained cautious.

"I just need a few minutes and I promise if she wants to, I'll let her come back. Please, this is just girl to girl talk. If you care about her and your baby, you'll let her go for a minute." She sounded so calm and reassuring Rey was almost impressed she could hold her cool this well in such a situation. Ben stood still sizing up the situation. Rose calmly walked over to them and took Rey's hand that was clinging to his shirt. Rey sniffed and wiped her cheeks on her sleeve, but calmly walked away with the woman, looking back at Ben to make sure he stayed nearby. Rose took them so they were just out of earshot of the guys.

"Rey, I know your scared and confused right now, but what the actual hell are you doing alone in the woods with Kylo Ren?! Finn had every right to freak out at you!" She whispered holding onto Rey's shoulders tightly. Rey swallowed hard and wiped her face again but didn't speak. She just couldn't. Nothing she would say would make any sense to Rose.

"Does Leia know he's here?" Rose asked. Rey nodded.

"Does she trust him?" Rose asked gently.

"I don't know," Rey answered tearfully, "she was just here and saw him and...they made up and...I think she does now..."

"Do you trust him?" Rose looked carefully in her eyes. Rey looked back into them.

"Yes...I do, I really do. He's been here for nearly a week, Rose. He's trying to become good I know he is. He's trying so hard...I just know I can help him. I can't explain it but I know."

Ben paced around the clearing running a hand through his hair then scratching his face. He really did need to shave.

"Guilty conscious?" Finn said hoarsely to him. He was standing leaned against a tree for support waiting for Rose.

"Is what you said true? Is Rey really..."

"Pregnant with your evil spawn? I'm afraid so."

Ben ignored his harsh comment and paced around again. A baby...his baby. Rey was carrying his baby. How did he not notice? Why hadn't she told him? He wondered how far along she was...would all this stress hurt his child? Did his mother know? A million thoughts ran through his head at once.

"I want to apologize, Finn," he said calmly, "I never should have come here. I never should have put this much pressure on Rey."

"Your damn right you shouldn't have. And don't waste your breath apologizing to me, I'll never forgive you..." Finn said heatedly.

"I can't stay," Ben said, "I have to leave soon. I'll be found out by the order and they'll destroy this entire planet."

"Great, thanks for endangering all of our lives," Finn spat.

"Listen," Ben said angrily and walked over to him. Finn stood up a little straighter but was no match for his height.

"I told you I'm sorry, I know that you won't forgive me, nobody will, but Rey does. And I really care about her."

Finn stared at him still hating him more than anyone he'd ever met.

"Why am I talking to you, you don't care," Ben said walking away.

"No. I don't. Not about you. But I do care about Rey and you hurt her. Badly." Finn still was angry, "and now an innocent child has to suffer through this life because of it."

"It's not going to suffer," Ben said angrily.

"Oh you're going to raise it, are you?" Finn said loudly, "stay with Rey and take care of her the rest of her life? Teach it how to play ball, feed it, change it...stuff that, you know, a normal father would do? Don't make me laugh..."

"Don't you think I wish I could do those things?!" Ben said loudly, "I know I fucked up! I know I can't have a normal life now! I made that choice myself and I have to deal with that!"

"Kylo!" Rose said loudly walking back over to him with Rey. They must be done talking. Rey leaned in and whispered in her ear.

"Really?" Rose said giving her a weird look. Rey nodded.

"Okay...Ben...that's enough," she corrected herself.

"You two are enough to drive someone to drink! You don't have to get along! Finn, I understand your worried and frustrated but you have said some really horrible things lately. Things you need to apologize for. And...Ben." She shook her head, she would never get used to saying his real name, "for some ungodly reason Rey trusts and, lord help me, likes you. You don't have to be friends, but for gods sake just stop fighting! I've had enough of that to last me a lifetime!"

Rey walked back over to Ben and stood beside him.

"It's obvious we don't fully understand your relationship, Rey, that much is for damn sure. But you're our friend and we need to have some faith in your judgement," she looked at Finn, "right Finn?"

He looked as perplexed as ever, like he was staring at some puzzle he couldn't figure out.

"I think a lapse in judgment doesn't even begin to describe what's happening here..." he replied astounded. Rose snapped back, "No, I said no more fighting, you're instigating! We are going to trust Rey, and we are going to not kill Ky...Ben. Not yet anyway...Okay?"

A sudden idea hit Rey like a brick wall. It was so perfect...the plan she had been needing to ensure Ben's freedom. She didn't how she would pull it off but it could be done!

"Now," Rose continued, "Finn and I are going to leave, showing that we trust you Rey...but if you need us I swear we will come right back!"

She looked sternly to Ben now.

"If you so much as lay a hand on her, I can assure you the resistance will be told where your hiding faster than you can say sith lord..."

"I'm not going to hurt her. She's carrying my child for Christ's sake..." Ben rolled his eyes.

"Because suddenly he places value on human life," Finn interjected viciously.

"Finn, I told you to stop," Rose led him by his arm back into the dense jungle, they could be heard arguing for a few minutes before it was silent once again.

Rey exhaled and relaxed her stance, she hadn't even realized she'd been so tense this whole time.

"Your friend...what's her name?" Ben asked walking back over to the log to sit.

"Rose," Rey replied mindlessly.

"I think...she kind of scares me," he said. Him and Rey made eye contact for a brief moment and busted into laughter. Rey came to sit beside him again.

"So it's true...I'm going to be...a...you know..." he nudged uncomfortably.

"Yes, it's true. I've been meaning to tell you but no time ever seemed right. And of course I wanted to make sure you really had changed first..."

"Understandable..." he said.

"Can I...touch it?" He asked looking at her with unsure eyes.

"What?" Rey asked confused.

"Your belly...can I touch it."

He'd never asked for her consent before so why did he start now she thought to herself. But this was a once in a lifetime moment for him and she didn't want to take it away from him. Rey slid down off the log so her back was against it and lifted her shirt up. Ben joined her on the dirt and slowly placed a large hand over the small bump that he now noticed. How did he not see it before?

When he hand made contact with her skin he inhaled sharply, goosebumps appearing all over him, the force humming wildly throughout his body. He made eye contact with Rey and she gave him an understanding look. She felt it too.

"This baby is strong...maybe stronger than both of us..." he said keeping his hand in place. Rey placed her hand on top of his. For a moment, Ben felt the peace he had been searching for his whole life. His child...his legacy and heir...it was so strong with the force he could sense it even though it wasn't even fully developed yet. He blinked hard a few times, the goosebumps beginning to fade away.

He could feel through their bond the love radiating from Rey for this tiny new being. She didn't resent it, she didn't hate it...she loved it and wanted it, even if it did come from Kylo's vile act. It didn't matter to her. She loved it unconditionally... Ben and Rey stared at each other a moment and Ben smiled at her. She gave a small smile back.

"Thank you," he said withdrawing his hand. Even if he never got to see his baby after it was born, he had this moment. No one could take that away from him...


	26. Chapter 26

Rey returned to camp just as the rest of the resistance was having dinner. She grabbed a plate and went and sat by herself. She didn't feel like arguing with Finn anymore and surely he had told Poe all about what was happening and she couldn't deal with two people yelling at her. Yes, she felt ashamed that she had these feelings for a murderer...she knew how messed up it was. She knew some weird deep secret part of her enjoyed the thrill of it all. She couldn't help that. Hadn't she been predisposed to being on the dark side? She could be doing so much worse right now! And her friends complained why...because she likes a man who just happens to be a little sadistic? You can't help who you're attracted to...She brooded a little longer and finished eating.

She grabbed her staff and after her friends all went in their tents, took her usual path towards Ben. She was nearly half way there, just peacefully watching the moon on the leaves surrounding her, enjoying the quiet, when an eerie feeling overcame her. She froze, gripping her staff tightly and looked around. The sensation sent a cold shiver of fear down her spine and made her hair stand on end. Almost like static electricity was running through her veins...

She turned quickly around, then the other way...but there was nobody.

"Finally," she heard a sinister voice in her head say. She jumped and spun around quickly, her staff her only defense.

"I've been searching for you for so long..."

"Where are you?" She said quietly and viciously, looking all around her in case this was some kind of trap.

"Don't worry dear granddaughter...I couldn't get to you personally if I wanted to. I was rather hoping you would come to me..."

"Think again," Rey said realizing this must be Palpatine's unnerving voice.

"It matters not. I have people that could find you...and ways of doing so..."

"If thats all you want then I'd appreciate you getting out of my head now..." Rey replied with sass.

"So spirited and feisty...must be from my side of the family."

"You're no family to me. I'll kill you the first chance I get."

There was creepy laughter echoing through her head.

"I look forward to it..." the man said, "speaking of murdering people...have you been in contact with Kylo Ren?"

"No. And I wouldn't tell you if I had," she clenched her jaw.

"I think you have...there's been a shift in the force...he'll betray you, you know."

"You know nothing about him," she defended angrily. But he continued, ignoring her completely.

"I know he's a master manipulator...I bet he came to you acting injured and weak didn't he? Claiming he was in some valiant fight for his life..."

Rey faltered a bit.

"No!" Her word shook slightly when she said it.

"He'll have his way with you until he's bored then slaughter you like he did all the others..."

Rey's heart skipped a beat. He had to be lying, this was absurd.

"You're a liar and I won't listen to another word you say!" She said loudly.

"Fine...but when it happens you can't say I didn't warn you. And if you're lucky enough to live through it...well you come find me, dear Rey. I'll be waiting to help you get your revenge..."

Rey stood there breathing heavily looking around. The feeling of the connection was lifted. How had he found her? Did he know what planet she was on? Would he send people after her? Was he...telling he truth? That thought made her feel sick and a little scared. She began to walk down the path towards Ben again and quickly broke into a jog wanting to hurry and not be alone anymore. She just felt...unsettled now.

"Rey?" Ben stood, seeing her jogging form come out of the trees towards him. He was wearing only his pants to escape the humidity of the evening. She jogged straight to him and caught him in a hug which he instantly returned.

"What's wrong?" He grabbed her arms and pulled away so he could have a better look at her. He could feel something wasn't right.

"I'm fine...just...missed you was all..." she smiled. He gave her a stern look.

"Really, Ben...I'm fine. In fact, I need to talk to you. I may have a plan to keep you alive and somewhat safe."

"You're still on that?" He said and they walked together to sit on the log.

"Of course I am," she shot him a dirty look.

"Okay, let's hear it then if you're so set on it."

"So I'm thinking that we fake your death. Make it believable...so believable the first order won't be looking for you anymore. You can hang low on a neutral planet until this blows over and maybe one day...eventually...we can be back together."

Ben looked lost in thought and mindlessly scratched his arm.

"You think we can plan a fake death the first order will believe?" He finally asked.

"Yes...I haven't thought of anything definite yet but...it's a work in progress," she shrugged. He thought another moment.

"I suppose it's not the worst idea...and I could still keep tabs on my child without putting it in immediate danger..."

"Exactly!" Rey nearly sighed in relief that he was considering this. She felt a small rush of relief. Their child. How could she believe Palpatine when Ben was so focused on their child and worried about its well being? She leaned up and planted a soft kiss on his lips. He placed his hand on the back of her neck and pulled back to look at her.

"What?" Rey nearly laughed.

"Nothing you just...look so..."

She thought of the small bump in her belly and how horrible and worn down she must look right now and her face fell a bit.

"I know...I haven't exactly had the chance to shower everyday and I think these pregnancy hormones are messing with my skin and hair and-"

"Beautiful," Ben stared at her, "I was going to say beautiful."

Rey grinned and looked down, she knew her cheeks were turning pink. He grabbed under her chin and brought her face back up.

"I know I've never told you that before...I'm sorry if it was awkward...but I have to be honest with you now. I don't know why the force decided to connect us like it did, but I'm glad it happened. I regret some of the things I've done to get to where we are now. In fact, I regret almost all of them," he squirmed and swallowed, "but I'll never regret our relationship. Or this," he placed his hand on her belly.

Rey could have cried. She had never had anyone say anything so sweet to her in all her life.

"What...did I say something wrong?" He looked alarmed at her holding back tears.

She shook her head, "Ben Solo...that means so much to hear you say that..." she choked out through her tears. Then leaned in against his chest.

"I didn't think you were capable of emotions like normal people..."

"I didn't either..." he muttered.

"But I can see now...you have this hard exterior," she touched his chest, "but underneath it you're as soft and broken as the rest of us."

Ben stayed quiet thinking a long moment. How can this one girl seem to know better than he even knows himself...Rey leaned back up and got right back to the details of her plan.

"Anyway...all we have to do is find an audience and a stage, then put on a hell of a show..."

"We can't lure them here and put the resistance in danger," Ben said trying to come up with an idea.

"You said General Pryde is dead right?" Rey asked furrowing her brow.

"Right. And most of the troopers he got to turn with him."

"So who is in command right now then? Who are the troops taking orders from?"

Ben gave her a weird look. She grinned.

"I don't like that grin," he said uncomfortably.

"You need to get back in command," she said as if this were the final word.

"No Rey, I don't think that's a good idea."

"No, you need to get back in that ship, get your troops under control, and you need to play the part of supreme leader. Just long enough to stage a fight and 'die', then you'll be free to go to any neutral planet you want."

Her eyes were full of hope and determination.

"I don't know if I can go back...they may kill me on the spot-"

"Oh I'm sorry," Rey now stood and Ben turned to watch her, "I thought I was in the presence of the mighty Kylo Ren, the man who has taken down entire planets, the man who claims to rule the galaxy, the man who would sooner run a light saber through you than admit he was wrong about something!"

Ben felt a little embarrassed, "that was the old me, Rey."

"And it's going to be the new you as well!" She pointed in his face, "you haven't left us a choice. You've done so many terrible things you have nearly every living thing in the universe turned against you. And now you're afraid of a few storm troopers?! You think they are going to be able to kill Kylo Ren?!"

Ben felt her energy all around him. She was trying to motivate him.

"No Rey, I can't even remember how to act like him anymore! That's not me!"

"Well you had better remember!" She roughly shoved him, nearly knocking him off the log.

"I know what your doing and I'm not taking the bait," he said. She shoved him again. He stared at her with a stubborn look on his face. She stared at him with the same stubbornness, then suddenly walked over and grabbed her staff off the ground. Ben quickly got to his feet now and stepped away from the fire. Rey walked quickly back over to him and swung directly for his side. He jumped back just barely making it out of the way.

"Stop!" He said loudly not taking his eyes off her. She spun around and swung again, wielding this staff even better than she did a light saber. He was so impressed and so afraid of getting hit at the same time. She expertly swung at him a few more times, Ben barely able to move in time.

"I said stop, Rey!" His fists balled up. He was getting angry. She attacked him with vicious combo, almost landing what would have been a devastating hit to the side of his head. She looked a bit surprised at herself and paused for a moment. But Ben had had enough. He spotted a long semi thin fallen branch by the edge of the trees and opened his palm summoning it towards him. As soon as the wood was in his hands, Rey began swinging again, over the shock of almost really hurting him. He expertly blocked every move and pushed her back. She stumbled a bit but went right back to the offensive. He protected himself and continued to let himself be pushed back by her blows. He had fought her before and knew how tough she was but the intensity with which she was attacking was remarkable. He didn't even have time to get a swing in.

"Enough!" He said loudly startling her and giving him the split second he needed to swing back at her. She blocked it and swung back but now he had a chance to begin swinging back. As they battled it out, wood clanging and little yells of effort from Rey the only sounds around them, Ben was getting into the swing of this, it felt good to fight. He hadn't had an adrenaline rush like this in awhile. He began to gain some leverage over her and soon she was the one who began stepping back as he swung at her, driving her backwards.

"Come on!" He said with a slight grin, "you fight like a pregnant girl!"

Oh, he wanted to play did he? She grinned back and while she was swinging, she aimed right for the center of his branch and snapped it in two instantly. Ben threw the two halves down and before she could hit him, grabbed her staff. She attempted to spin out of it but he timed it just right so she would land with her back against him, her staff horizontal under her chin pressed against her neck with Ben holding either side of it. Rey paused to think for a split second and took a quick breath. She elbowed him sharply in the stomach, doubling him over, then kicked her heel into his leg. He dropped her instantly and she yanked her staff out of his hands.

"That's the best you've got?" She panted out holding her staff in a defensive position.

Ben held his stomach but leaned back up breathing a little hard.

"Okay, okay..." he said taking a step towards her, his hand not on his stomach held up in surrender. She grinned triumphantly and lowered her guard. Ben took this moment of calm to grab her staff, throw it aside, then grabbed both her arms and forced them behind her, pulling her back into him and capturing her in an effective hold she couldn't get out of.

"Never let your guard down," he said in her ear.

"There he is...I knew Kylo was still hidden deep down." He let her go and she turned to look at him. He looked...disappointed.

"What is it?" Rey asked knowing he had to get something off his chest. He sighed and sat down in the dirt, resting his arms over his knees.

"I guess I'm...well I'm afraid okay? I'm not Kylo anymore. He was so much stronger and more confident than I ever could be."

"Ben do you hear yourself?" Rey said sitting across from him, "you are Kylo Ren...Ben, Kylo, you're the same person. Just because you made up some silly name to fit in and got a little cocky-"

"I'm not cocky."

She rolled her eyes, "what I'm saying is you think this fake person you made up is stronger than you and you're wrong. It was you the whole time. You were just lost and confused and hurting so you thought by changing your name it would change who you were. Well it didn't."

He moved his jaw around while he stared at the ground taking in her words.

"Listen, I love you Ben, but you really need to get some of your spirit back. I can feel how depressed you are sitting around here doing nothing all day, and I know when you're alone with your thoughts they eat away at you, so it's time to man up and do what needs done so I can focus on bringing this baby into the world without fear of it being murdered."

Thinking about his unborn child being born into the chaos of the universe right now lit a spark of fear in him he didn't know he had. He knew he had to protect his baby and Rey. Them and his mother was all he had left to care for in the world.

"Okay...I'll do it. I'll get my things together and prepare to leave in the morning. I think I know where I can find the first order."

"Thank you," Rey smiled and scooted up to him, placing a hand on his leg, "this child is only going to know it's father as the man who did everything he could to protect it. I'll make sure of that."

"It's going to find out what a horrible person I was sooner or later..." he said looking away from her.

"Yeah, it will hear the bad. But it will also hear the good and how you changed. I won't lie to it about anything but I'm not going to paint you to be a horrible person because you're not."

Ben gave her a sad smile then looked away again for a long moment lost in thought.

"Stay with me tonight."

"I really shouldn't if someone notices..." but she looked at his face and saw his expression and her heart grew soft.

"Okay...I'll stay. It's going to be a tight squeeze in that tent though," she teased.

"I don't care. I just want to hold you and remember what you look like in case..."

"In case what?"

He shook his head. "Nevermind. Come on let's go lay down."


	27. Chapter 27

Rey let her hair down and stripped down to a shirt and her underwear. The night was still a bit stuffy and she knew it would be warm in the tent being in such close quarters. Rey crawled in the tiny tent first and Ben followed. The two of them immediately turned towards each other and Rey snuggled in close to his bare chest. His arm went instinctively around her. There was so much they both wanted to say, but just couldn't. So they held each other close instead.

Rey fell asleep a few minutes later and Ben lay there wide awake, too anxious to rest properly. Instead he soaked in every moment he had with her and gently ran his hand up and down her side in a loving way. He leaned down and pressed his lips to the top of her head, holding them there a moment, taking in her scent. He didn't want to leave her, he wanted to take care of her always. But she was right. Without his 'death' their child was in danger. He had to do this to protect his soon to be family. He could go back to being Kylo with a little bit of effort, shoot he'd played that part for how long? Yes people would believe him surely, he could tell the rest of the troops an altered version of what happened and how he had to lay low awhile. He'd have to get in contact with Palpatine again as well and that made his skin crawl. That weird, hardly human anymore, man was one of the more disturbing things he'd ever come in contact with in the galaxy. How someone so good and beautiful could be in the same bloodline as him he would never understand. Yet here he was with Skywalker and Solo blood in his veins, and he had been the one that had turned dark and corrupted...it hardly made sense. It was like the two of them had switched roles in destiny somehow.

Rey turned facing away from him in her sleep and he pulled her back into himself, resting his hand on her belly. The way their bodies fit together so perfectly just made his heart ache. When was the next time he would be able to do this? Would his child already be born by then? What if something happened while she was giving birth and he wasn't there to help? He knew he could drive himself crazy with these thoughts so he tried to stop and just focus on the here and now and enjoy being able to keep his arm around Rey...even if tonight was the last time.

The next morning came all too quickly and Ben found himself packed, ship ready to go, and dressed in his old all black attire. All before the sun had fully risen. The full suite was unbearably warm in this climate and he was happy to not have to wear his mask at this moment. He was even more somber than usual as he turned to Rey to tell her goodbye. She looked sadly at him a moment.

"We'll see each other again soon. This is going to work...It has to." She said sounding as if she was trying to convince herself more than him. He clenched his jaw and nodded. He couldn't find the words he wanted so desperately to say to her.

"I...guess I better go..." he managed out. Rey nodded and awkwardly looked at him. He walked towards his ship, anxiety and sadness overwhelming him.

"Ben," Rey called out. He turned just in time to catch her as she ran and jumped into his arms, wrapping her legs around his middle and tangling her fingers in his hair. She leaned in for a desperate kiss that he returned instantly. God he could kiss her like this forever...he turned them and pressed her back against the side of his ship to better balance her and continued their kiss . She finally pulled back to get a breath and Ben found he could speak.

"Next time you see me...this is how I want you to greet me," his eyes looked all over her face taking in every detail. She placed her hands on either side of his jaw and nodded.

"Exactly like this," she promised. She put her forehead against his for a moment and he closed his eyes.

"Take care of my baby while I'm gone," he said quietly.

"Our baby," she corrected him. He smiled.

"Our baby..."

She gave him one more soft kiss and he finally let her down. He got in his small fighter and closed the door, watching Rey back up as he started the engine. He raised the ship up in the air, thankfully it had taken hardly any damage on its way down. With one last glance at her, he typed in the coordinates to the planet he believes he may find the first order at, and quickly took off before anyone else on this planet would spot him and try to follow.

With that...he was gone. Rey sighed and looked around. The only sign he was ever here was the remains of the campfire. She rubbed her arms trying to comfort himself. God she hoped this worked and she hadn't just sent Ben to his death. Rey slowly made her way back to camp before everyone had started getting up and dressed and snuck back into her tent with little difficulty. How was she supposed to go about her day acting as of everything is fine when obviously it wasn't? She could lose Ben...she could quite literally have just given him a goodbye kiss. She just hoped he would contact her as soon as he was safe.

Ben was not surprised to find he was right about where to find the first order. As he landed in the docking bay of the large flagship, he wasn't immediately shot or bombed down so he figured that was a good start. A few troopers did come surround the ship, but he knew that was to be done with everything that entered the hangar. He took a deep breath in and out then clipped his light saber to him, put his mask on that he had kept in the ship this whole time, and climbed out.

The troopers immediately stepped back when they saw it was him.

"Sir, we've been anticipating your arrival and have been asked to accompany you to the control room," one stormtrooper captain said.

"Excellent," Ben said trying to sound confident and walked with the trooper. Once they walked through the door, Ben was greeted by the familiar faces of the first order crew. Many of them welcomed him back politely, a few remained silent, and a woman he recognized but never really talked to walked briskly up to him.

"Welcome back sir, I've been in command since you left, we didn't know if you were coming back-"

"Of course I was. That traitorous General Pryde wounded me but I'm healed now and fit to run my ship again." He said harshly.

"Of course, sir."

"Have all the remaining mutinous troopers been dealt with?"

"We found all but two of them, sir. The ones we captured have been executed and we still have a patrol out for the other two."

"Excellent. They have my permission to fire on sight if found."

She did a slight bow and walked off quickly.

Well that went surprisingly well. Almost too well. Did no one wonder where he'd gone? They certainly hadn't tried to find him. He wondered if perhaps they were simply hoping he wouldn't show back up.

He had a feeling that was exactly it.

"Lieutenant," he called after her. She stopped and turned abruptly looking slightly scared.

"I need to rest and get situated in my quarters. Act in my place in my absence."

"Yes sir," she looked relieved he hadn't yelled at her

Ben walked back to his quarters and removed his helmet, taking a deep breath in, he hated to admit it...but he was happy to see his room again. To sleep on an actual bed and eat real food...and take a hot shower, that was what he wanted to do most right now. He striped down and threw all of his old under clothes in the trash, then set the rest of his outfit aside to send down to laundry.

Stepping into the hot shower was the most amazing feeling, he scrubbed at his wild mane and washed his body off twice, then simply stood letting the hot water run over him, closing his eyes.

Once he finally decided to get out and was dried and redressed, he lay in his bed and spread out. It was so comfortable and familiar...he clenched his fists gathering up some of the blankets in his hand and closed his eyes again. If only Rey was here...she could be warm, clean, and comfortable with him...he wanted nothing more than to scoop her up and bring her here with him...but he couldn't. He would have to survive this alone. At least for now.


	28. Chapter 28

Two months had elapsed since Rey had last seen Ben. There was no hiding her pregnancy at this point, one glance and you could tell. Her belly stuck out like a sore thumb and she found she wasn't able to remain as active as she had been in the past. It was harder for her to catch her breath, she was slower, and she had to keep her feet up as much as possible when she had down time. Plus she had become even more emotional than before, growing angry over the littlest things and sad if she so much as looked at a beautiful sunset. All these changes were driving her crazy and she couldn't wait until she could finally bring this child into the world and get it out of her small body.

Poe, Rose, and Leia had all been very supportive and helped her with anything she needed. Rose had even knitted a few small outfits for the baby and Leia had given her an ivory receiving blanket she had used when Ben was born. Rey found it all so touching, she had cried when given both of these gifts. Her child may not have much in this galaxy, but she promised herself he would know love and compassion if nothing else.

Poe had been a remarkable stand in father figure, though he was frequently busy on missions and supply runs. No one in the resistance even questioned if it was his baby or not because he treated her so well. Knowing she had been seeing Ben in private hadn't changed his view of her. Though he had expressed how stupid it was to trust him like that and keep it a secret so long.

Rey lay in her cot with her feet on a bundle of blankets fanning herself with a book to try and keep cool. She had her tent flaps open to allow in any breeze that may decide to whisper through. The humidity of this planet never ceased to amaze her. Poe, just getting back from a mission, peeked his head inside, holding his helmet under his arm.

"How's my girls doing in here?" He said smiling. Rey grinned and rolled her eyes.

"We're fine, though I don't think the baby will appreciate being called a girl when it clearly comes out a boy."

"No...I'm pretty sure it's gonna be a girl," he walked into the tent and sat on a stool beside her cot placing his hand on her belly. He was one of the only ones she would allow to do this. She hated people touching her. It made her feel very self conscious.

She felt the baby roll around slightly at his touch.

"See she knows I'm talking about her," he said, "don't worry, I told your mom you were a girl. She doesn't believe me but she'll see," he spoke to her belly. Rey laughed.

"How did the mission go, baby whisperer?" She asked.

"I guess as good as could be expected. Ran into some trouble with a few bounty hunters but...quickly lost them."

"No sign of the first order?"

He sighed and shook his head.

"Nope. Not a single fighter in sight. Which is fine with me. Of course with Kylo back in power as long as his feelings for you hold out, we should be safe."

Rey's smile faded a bit thinking about Ben. It was hard the first week he was gone, she cried a time or two alone in her tent, but she had quickly gotten back into the swing of being without him once again. But she worried about him constantly. He hadn't been in contact with her at all, and although she could feel through the force he was alive, that was the extent. She just wished he would tell her he was okay.

"Sorry, I know that's a touchy subject..." Poe realized quickly she was acting different.

"No, no it's okay. I just hope he's okay is all," she ended it with that.

"Well, anyway, I better go. Always work to do around here." He leaned down and kissed Rey's forehead then left. Never had she had a friend she appreciated more than Poe. He was truly all a woman could ask for. She felt kind of selfish hogging him to herself, but he didn't seem to mind. He was too busy for a relationship anyway so this gave him an excuse to stay single.

Another hour passed and Rey had just started to close her eyes from the heat and tiredness when she felt a cold chill run down her spine. Oh great not this again...She sat up and out of instinct looked around. At first all she heard was cold laughter ringing through her own head. But it was followed by the creepy voice of her grandfather.

"What did I tell you? Kylo Ren has returned to power and left you alone. I did try to warn you..."

Rey knew she had to be careful and not let on that this was all part of their plan. She could play victim for awhile to keep him from getting wind of their plan. She had to, Ben's life was on the line.

"Listen, I'm not in the mood to hear your speech about my bad taste in men."

She heard the laughter echo once more.

"Oh on the contrary...I think he's a great man. Obviously he knows what side of the force he truly belongs on, unlike you."

"I know exactly where I belong thank you," Rey hissed out.

"Where you belong, dear granddaughter, is on the sith throne. Kylo Ren by your side. The two of you unstoppable and so powerful, the galaxy will quiver with fear at the very mention of your names. I know you've seen it...and I know some secret part of you wants it..."

"The only thing I 'want' is for you to leave me alone and stop getting in my head," she said venomously.

"Very well, very well. Though I wouldn't get too comfortable where you are. The first order is planning a raid of the very planet you're on."

"Liar...why would u tell me such information. Do you think I'm stupid?"

"I think you're confused and need some guidance...I could help you with that you know..."

Rey almost laughed. "Okay, well thanks for the warning, I'm quite busy if you don't mind."

"You'll see, dear grandchild. You'll see."

His voice faded and the feeling of him disappeared over the next few seconds. After the initial shock wore off she felt adrenaline kick in. If there really was an attack imminent on this planet, they needed to go. And soon. She slipped her shoes on and jogged out to find Leia. She had to hunt for awhile before she found her and Chewy talking near one of the resistance ships.

"General!" She jogged up to her holding her belly.

"What's wrong? Is the baby okay?" Leia looked concerned.

"What? Oh, yeah it's fine. I need to tell you something important."

"What is it?"

"Palpatine just spoke to me. Somehow he's figured out a way to get into my mind, I think just to torment me..but he told me the first order was planning a raid here. He didn't say when only that it would happen."

"Are you sure, Rey? You don't think he was toying with you?"

"I'm not sure, but I think it's safer if we leave just in case. Ben may not hurt us but I can't speak for the others. He may not even be in charge anymore for all I know. He hasn't been in contact since he left."

Leia nodded in understanding.

"Okay. I'll tell everyone to start packing. We can hide on Ahch-To. With Luke gone there's no reason we can't use that planet as our new base. And the first order won't be able to track us there."

A few hours later, nearly everything was packed on ships, people were rushing around to grab anything last minute they could, and the roar of engines starting up broke the calm jungle noises. Rey felt a small wave of sadness rush over her looking around at this planet as she stared out of the glass of the large ship she was in. It was where Ben and her had really connected and gotten to know each other. What if Ben needed them and now didn't know where to find them? She knew it was a selfish thought and probably a dangerous one...but she couldn't help it. This place would always have a special place in her heart.

The last ship was loaded and everyone was accounted for, Bb8 helped them with the map to Ahch-To, and they set their coordinates to it, then they lifted up into the sky and began their journey, wasting no time.

"So what's this planet like?" Rose came up to stand beside Rey, breaking her train of thought.

"Pretty cool temperature, rains a lot, mostly water with a few islands. There's not much in way of supplies or food, but it's well hidden so well be safe at least."

"Oh well," Rose said looking out of the glass as well, "we have each other. As long as we're safe thats all we need. The rest we can send small missions out for."

Rey smiled at her. She really was a truly remarkable person. She seemed to see the light in every situation and always had good advice. Rose wandered away to help with something and Rey stood looking out at the beautiful stars of the galaxy by herself, one hand subconsciously on her belly, her thoughts elsewhere as usual. The baby kicked her slightly and she grinned in spite of herself.

"Don't worry," she said quietly, "Well be there safe and sound soon."


	29. Chapter 29

Ben paced the control center nervous as ever, though he hid it very well from those around him. He hoped and prayed to whatever God he could think of that this plan would work and Rey would not be harmed. Palpatine has actually come up with this attack, and though Ben went along with it, he had decided to add his own twist to it to maybe be able to put Rey's plan into action and fake his death as soon as possible. The longer he was here, the more he felt the pull back to the dark side again. He had to admit, he enjoyed being in power. He had this weird need for control as Rey had once explained to him so well. But knowing he couldn't see Rey or his child if he kept it? It wasn't worth it. He would give up everything for them. Sure he could kidnap Rey again and force her to stay with him on the ship, he would see her everyday and his child would have the best care available...but Rey would never be happy. She would compare it to captivity. And Ben knew he wouldn't be happy either. He needed to 'die' and get far away from the first order.

"Sir, we're picking up signals from their ships. They are on the move."

"Excellent. Now is our time. I will go in my fighter and take on the largest ship. Take a few Tie fighters and go for the smaller ones. There's very few of the resistance left so this should be a quick easy fight."

"Yes, sir."

Ben began walking towards his private hangar where his personal fighter was kept. He had ordered a storm trooper to stand guard outside of it since yesterday and walked up to him.

"Trooper, can you fly a fighter?"

This seemed to catch him off guard.

"I...um yes Sir. I haven't had much practice but-"

"Excellent. There's been a change in plans. I need you to take my own personal fighter and join the fleet that's going out on the mission to fight the resistance."

"...Are you sure? I don't want to ruin your personal ship sir..."

"Don't worry about that. You do as I say and don't say a word while you're flying. I need you to go after the main ship. Don't tell a soul and don't mess this up trooper..." he looked at the mans numbers, "FT5285. I'll radio in that you will be in the fight, but they will think you are on a tie fighter. You have permission to remove your armor in order to fly properly."

"Y-yes sir. I won't let you down." With that the trooper entered the hangar and removed his armor, climbing into Ben's ship, and taking off as soon as clearance was provided. Ben waited until he heard the ship leave before going in and grabbing the storm troopers armor. He took off all the extra clothing he had, leaving just a black shirt and pants on, then quickly put the armor and helmet on over it. He then grabbed the extra clothing and put it in the garbage shoot.

A few minutes later he was in the hangar with all the other troopers preparing to fly a tie fighter. Once he was in the fighter, he removed his helmet as the others did and put on the headphones. Everything was going according to plan. Once they were in the air and on their way to the resistance, Ben relaxed a bit. He actually may be able to pull this off. Rey was right, there were a hundred things that could go wrong, he just needed to try to keep a low profile while out here. He had placed a bomb on the underside of his personal ship that he held the detonator for so when the battle began, he could assure both sides thought he was dead. Then during the heat of battle, he was going to jump to light speed and hide on Jakku. He hated that planet, but it would be the last place anyone would expect him. He took a steadying breath in and out and tried to concentrate on flying.

Rey had settled in a seat on the main ship and propped her feet up on the seat beside her, leaning her head back and sighing. She would be happy to be back on Ahch-To. She very much liked the cool weather, the rain, and the peacefulness. It would be a welcome relief from the humidity and heat of their previous base. A perfect place to have her baby. The thought of childbirth terrified her, but was also exciting. Getting to meet the little human she was growing...it certainly would make all the pain worth it. She was sure of that. She heard radio talk coming from the small control center at the front of the ship and at first ignored it but the words 'first order' caught her attention very quickly. She sat up and strained her ears to listen harder. She could only catch bits and pieces but it sounded as if Poe, who was on an X wing, was urgently talking.

"Coming up on us fast...raise your shields...permission to fire..."

That was enough for her to hear. She jumped up and ran to the window again. Sure enough coming up on them rather quickly was a small fleet of tie fighters lead by Kylo Ren's sharp looking fighter. Her heart leapt a bit at the sight of it. But those thoughts were quickly shut down as the ties that flew closer began firing on the surrounding X wings and other small ships protecting the larger one she was on. Wait...no this wasn't right. Why would they be attacking them? Had Ben changed his mind? Did he decide to turn back to the dark side after all...? She felt her heart sink a bit but knew this wasn't the time or place to wallow.

"General," she said catching Leia coming out of the control room.

"It's okay, Rey. We have our best pilots out there. They will take this small fleet out in no time," she spoke...but he eyes didn't quite match her voice in confidence. Rey bit her lip nervously and watched helplessly out of the window as the two sides began firing at each other. There were flashes of light, loud bangs, people talking frantically on the ship...it was making her even more anxious as she watched Ben's fighter. It seemed to be the only one trying to attack the main ship. Thankfully it was thwarted every time it got close to a good shot by Poe's X wing. She would have to remember to thank him for that later.

Ben flew around purposely aiming so he would miss every shot and keeping his personal ship in view. He had the detonator in his hand, waiting for just the right moment. It was hard to concentrate while being fired at and trying to remain where he could make a quick escape. There was finally a brief moment where the unsuspecting trooper was being fired at by two fighters and was just barely managing to avoid being hit. He put his thumb on the detonator but hesitated. God why couldn't he just be heartless! But he thought of the poor guy in his ship thinking he was on a special mission and trying his hardest to impress everyone...he shouldn't have traded this innocent mans life for his...suddenly it all just felt wrong. He couldn't do it. He didn't want to kill anymore, even if it meant his freedom and being with Rey...he just couldn't.

Poe chased Kylo Ren's fighter, adrenaline coursing though his veins, laser focused on destroying this horrible human being. He didn't care if Rey was in love with him or whatever, this man came at HIS family attacking to kill, and Poe would be damned if he would let someone be killed because he didn't kill him first. Rey would just have to deal with that. He chased the black fighter down, around the larger ship, passing a few fighters, evading a shot fired at him, he had a clear shot and without hesitation took it. Dead center on the back of the ship. There's was a huge explosion that startled even him as he watched. Through the wreckage and rubble flying in bits and pieces everywhere, he saw a head with short blonde hair. He stared in shock for a moment, a scowl on his face. That wasn't Kylo Ren...he turned his ship but watched as the remaining few first order fighters retreated. He swore he caught a glimpse of a ship off in the distance jump to light speed...maybe it was just in his mind...

Rey watched out of the window as Ben's ship dramatically exploded blowing debris every direction. She silently fell to her knees unable to stop staring at the sad scene in the distance. She wanted to cry but couldn't...she just felt...numb. There was no way anyone could survive that.

Leia came and sat silently on the floor beside her and they watched the remaining few fighters that the resistance hadn't taken out retreat.

"I know we didn't have a choice but...it still hurts," Was all Rey could manage out through the numbness. Leia put her arm around her shoulders.

"Trust me...I know."

"We can't go to Ahch-To. They somehow traced us and it would be dangerous to lead them there now. It may be one of the only planets in the solar system they don't know how to get to yet and our only chance at a peaceful base. We have to change course." Rey said quietly.

"I agree," Leia nodded, "we can hide on Florrum until we reassess all tracking devices and can make sure we won't be followed to Ahch-To when we go."

Rey nodded in agreement and the two women looked at each other with equally pained expressions on each others faces. Rey had to look away before she bang to tear up. This was no time to be weak and mourn. She would have to do that later in private. Right now she must put a brave face on and stay strong. If not for herself than for her child.


	30. Chapter 30

Florrum was hot and dry and very much reminded Rey very much of Jakku. There just seemed to be more canyons here which worked in the resistances favor as they could hide easier. They had just landed and began unpacking when Finn came up to Rey. She looked at him awkwardly for a moment as he hadn't spoken to her for near two months.

"Can I talk to you in private?"   
She looked him up and down, "No. You can talk to me right here while we help unpack so we can get this done faster."

She knew she sounded mean but he deserved it. His face fell a bit but he remained strong.

"Okay fine. I just want to apologize. I saw what happened and I know this whole thing has been hard on you."

"Now you want to apologize? Now that Ben is dead and you won't have to see him again?"

"It's not like that-"

"Yes it is. You would never give him a chance and you'll never give this baby a chance. Your apology means nothing until you can prove you're sorry."

"How am I supposed to prove something like that to you?" He was getting irritated, she could hear it in his voice. Good.

"Figure it out," she said grabbing a crate that wouldn't be too heavy and began walking off. He stood still for a moment then jogged over to her and grabbed the crate from her hands. She scowled at him.

"You don't need to be carrying anything big like this. Why don't you go help set up tents instead."

"Why don't you?!" Rey snapped back and tried to take the box from him. He tugged it back away from her.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa...what's going on? What's wrong?" Poe came over and stood with his hands on his hips.

"I was-" Finn stopped and pulled the box out of her grip entirely, "I was trying apologize to the queen here and she won't hear it."

"Because you don't mean it!" She said loudly. Poe placed a hand on her arm to keep her at bay.

"Okay, okay, Rey you don't need to be so hostile, and Finn...why don't you just give her some time to think about it okay? You did say some pretty horrible things."

"Well she did some horrible things! Literally! And look where it got her!" Finn was getting increasingly louder and more annoyed.

"Can everyone please stop yelling?!" Poe said frustratedly. "It's hot, everyone's adrenaline has worn off, and we're tired. Now is not the time to be trying to talk things out. Just leave her alone for awhile Finn."

"Of course you're gonna take her side about this," Finn rolled his eyes.

"Yes, I am! She's in a very vulnerable state right now and you haven't exactly been a good friend. When she forgives you, then I will too. But for now, we all need to get unpacked, calm down, and get some rest." Finn and Rey started at each other angrily.

"Okay...?" Poe said loudly to get their attention.

"Fine," Finn said and took the crate walking away. The two of them watched him walk for a moment and when he was out of earshot Poe turned to Rey.

"I don't know why you let him get to you like that," he said calmly. Rey sighed.

"I don't know why he annoys me so much. We used to be such good friends. He's just not been the same since this baby came along."

"And he won't be, Rey. He cares about you and he's worried about you. That's why he gets so angry. He's scared."

"Well I am too!" She said and felt her bottom lip trembling. Damn these stupid hormones, she walked over to the pile of tents and picked one up then found a clearing to set it up on. Poe followed and helped her begin to set it up. Rey worked quietly, tears beginning to trickle down her red cheeks. Sweat making her hair cling to her face and neck. She felt so tired and gross and so damn sick of the heat. They should be on Ahch-To right now enjoying a light rain with a cool breeze sweeping through the green grass! And Rey shouldn't be suffering through all of this alone! Ben should be helping! He should be taking care of his family right now and instead, he planned an attack against the only people that care about him and paid the ultimate price for it. Rey didn't know if she could even feel sad about it anymore because the more she thought, the angrier she grew. She was straight up fuming by the time they finished the tent. Angry tears streamed down her face now, nose running, eyes red, lips trembling...she couldn't stop it, her emotions simply took over. She knew Poe knew she was upset but he remained silent and simply helped get her things inside the tent. Once he set her cot up for her, he sat on the side and patted the spot next to him so Rey would come sit, which she did wiping her face and sniffling. Poe wrapped his arm around her and she slumped sideways into him, her face in her hands, ashamed of acting this way.

"I'm sorry. I have...no control...over my emotions," she sobbed out trying to at least get her voice under control.

"It's fine, sometimes you just need to cry it out. You'll feel better afterwards," he spoke softly and kindly, "your body is going through a lot of changes and you're gonna have days like this. You just have to take them in stride. Rest and drink lots of water when it gets bad. Maybe find a new hobby, something to take your mind off things hmm?" He squeezed her a little. She nodded and dried her eyes once more.

"Here," Poe stood and helped her lay down on the cot, "you get some rest. It's been a long day already and I think a nap would really do you well. I'll go help unpack and set camp up and I'll check on you again and bring you some food okay?"

Rey looked up at him. She seriously didn't know what she would do without this man right now.

"Thank you," was all she could say and he smiled at her a brief moment before walking out of the tent. She lay on her side staring at the sunlight hitting the side of her tent, her tears finally under control and her eyes now sore and heavy feeling. She closed them and took a deep breath in and out. Take it all in stride he said. Just one day at a time. She could do this. She didn't have a choice.

...but boy did she wish Ben was here...

Next thing Rey knew, she felt her shoulders being lightly shaken. She blinked a few times and looked up. It was Poe who had set a plate of food and glass of water down on a crate he had pulled up beside the cot. She slowly sat up and rubbed her eyes that were tender from crying. She looked around and realized to her relief the sun was finally starting to set and it wasn't unbearably hot anymore.

"Here, you start to eat, I'll grab a plate and come sit with you," Poe said quietly and walked off. Rey picked up her plate and fork and took a bite. It was some kind of pasta dish that honestly wasn't too bad. Much better than some of the things she's eaten in the past. And she's never been one to complain about food anyway. Poe came back and sat beside her, taking a bite himself. He shrugged his shoulders, "I guess it not too bad. Better than nothing."

Rey grinned and took a long drink of her water. Her head hurt from sweating and crying and she needed all the moisture she could get.

"Do you feel any better?" He asked after taking another bite. She shrugged.

"I think so. I don't want to kill anyone at least."

"Well that's a start," he grinned. They ate quietly for a minute before Poe spoke again.

"I think you should go talk to Leia. She's had a baby before maybe she can give you some pointers or something."

"I don't think there's any help for my attitudes," she grinned. Poe chuckled, "you may be right about that."

Rey enjoyed Poe's company. She didn't feel like she needed to make conversation or act like someone else around him. He just felt...secure. Like she didn't have to worry about anything with him here. With Ben gone and her child needing a father figure in its life, she supposed her and Poe would do just fine. He seemed to be in it for the long haul and Rey couldn't ask for a better partner. Still, she thought, it will never be like it was between Ben and her. There was no passion between them...but she would just have to live with that. Poe meant safety and she needed to be safe now more than ever.


	31. Chapter 31

Ben Solo walked the dry Jakku desert back to his small camp after a long day. He had traded every piece of his fighter for food and supplies, making sure there was nothing left of it within a few days. He couldn't have anything to identify him. He had taken to wearing a dark hood anytime he went to town, being sure to keep a low profile and talk the least amount possible. No one here seemed to pay him any mind. They were all too focused on survival. It made him feel sad for Rey having to grow up like this and have to scavenge just to eat. He now understood why she acted the way she did sometimes. You don't grow up fighting to survive and become weak. No, she was stronger than he could ever be.

He walked back inside his tent and took his hood down, the heat almost too much to bear. He decided to take the hood and his shirt off and cool off on his cot for a moment. He lay back and stare up into nothingness. Rey...he wondered how she was. If everything was okay with the baby and if she was being taken care of. Ben had completely cut himself off from the force, not using it to do anything and putting up a mental barricade so no one could contact him if they wanted to. He would have to let Rey know that he was alive somehow, but through the force would be much too dangerous with Palpatine still at large. He would have to find another way. He had to admit his plan hadn't gone the way he expected that day. When he decided not to detonate the bomb on his ship, he had just been about to head back to the flagship when he saw a resistance fighter hit it in just the right place, setting the bomb off and leaving no hope for the poor man inside. Ben felt ashamed for a moment but had decided to follow through with the original plan after that and quickly jumped to light speed when the other fighters were busy firing at someone. He had disabled the tracking device on it as soon as he got away and went straight for Jakku and here he was. Hot, tired, and lonely. Wondering if he had really done the right thing after all. This was no way to live. Not one he wanted any part of anyway. But for now he didn't have a choice. He'd have to, quite literally, sweat it out.

About a week after the fight, Rey was pacing the camp. Her back had started hurting the last few days and she could never seem to get comfortable, so she walked. Sometimes Rose, Leia, Poe, or evening Bb8 would walk with her but today she walked alone. She had her staff she could use if she needed to but she never wandered far enough away from camp to cause anyone to worry. She got that weird tingling feeling creep up her spine and knew Palpatine was going to bother her again. She didn't look around or even stop walking this time.

"My dear granddaughter...how are you?" He said in a creepy tone that didn't reflect his words.

"Fine." She said roughly.

"You don't seem fine...you are troubled. I can feel it. What troubles you?"

"Nothing."

She insisted on keeping this forced meeting short and sweet. Not speaking unless she had to. The less he knows, the better.

"I must admit, I contacted you to see if you know what happened to your dear Ben..."

Her heart sunk but she grit her teeth.

"Yes."

"Oh not happy about it are we?"

"I don't care. He means nothing to me."

"Nothing eh?" He laughed his creepy laugh. "The new life growing inside you begs to differ."

Shit, how did he know?

"He didn't tell me if that's what you're wondering...I can sense it. But you know what I can't sense? Your boyfriend..."

"He's not my boyfriend and he's dead that's why you can't sense him." She said angrily.

"Oh no...I've felt many a Jedi die in my day...he has not died, but disappeared. Cut himself off from the force."

"You're lying," she said now stopping her walk and balling up her fists. She didn't dare let herself feel a spark of hope like she so desperately wanted to.

"Why would I lie?"

"Because you're a horrible person and that's what horrible people do!" She spat loudly. He laughed his maniacal laugh and slowly faded away. Rey waited until she could no longer sense him then sat down on the dirt where she was. He knew about her baby...great just another thing he could use against her or threaten to destroy...but Ben...did he really not think he was dead?

No, stop it Rey he put that cruel thought in your mind to drive you crazy. Don't be stupid. She sat there a long moment trying to collect her thoughts. She wanted nothing more than to be able to keep Palpatine from entering her mind like this but she was clueless as to how to stop it. She thought about asking Leia but knew she wouldn't exactly know. She knew some about the force but not enough...no she would just have to suffer through this alone.

Later that night when the sun had gone down and there was only the glow of a campfire and torches for light, Rey sat alone at the fire. She poked at the burning embers with a stick just for the hell of it. Poe was on night watch this night and she couldn't sleep so she decided to hang out for awhile while he made a round to check all perimeters. After a few minutes he came and sat back down beside her on the piece of dried out log.

"Okay so tell me again what you were talking about before?" Poe asked, taking a sip of water from his canteen.

"This guy Palpatine, who just happens to be my grandfather, keeps somehow getting in my head and communicating with me through the force. He knows about the baby and that's bad news. I don't know what he would do if he could get his hands on it...probably the same thing that happened to Ben and I refuse to let that happen. This baby will be good and not struggle with the dark side...I'll make sure of it."

"Rey, everyone struggles with the dark side at some point in their life..."

Rey looked over at him. His face was handsome and warm in the low glow of the campfire. His hair messy and facial hair looking a bit rugged and in need of shaving. Stop, Rey, pay attention. You're just lonely.

"What do you mean?" She asked trying to distract herself from his attractive features.

"You know exactly what I mean. Everyone has to struggle with something dark inside them at least a few times in their life. It's what you let win that makes us who we are. And this baby?" He laid a hand on her belly, "is going to choose good. Just look at its mother..." he said staring into her eyes. Her face was so close to his...she could easily just lean in and...

No, you don't like him that way, you need to calm down. She internally argued with herself. What was happening to her?

But those deep brown eyes stared at her like she was really something special...and those curvy lips just looked so tempting...

Poe glanced down at Rey's lips, then back up, her eyes dark and wanting. But she remained still, almost afraid to move towards him. Well he guessed he could solve that problem. He leaned in and gently moved his lips against hers. She obliged and her lips parted to deepen the kiss. Their mouths moved together a minute but Poe broke them apart and kind of looked her up and down a moment. Thank god she spoke first because it was getting too quiet.

"That...was awkward. I'm sorry...but I don't think I enjoyed that," she laughed and Poe relaxed a bit, smiling as well.

"Thank God, I didn't want to say anything but it was a bit like kissing a sister or something." He laughed.

"Let's agree to never do that again," Rey said and looked back into the fire grinning.

"Agreed." Poe said.

Rey lay her head on his shoulder until she finally got tired and decided she should probably start making her way to her bed. She was so glad Poe felt the same way about her. She had to stop letting these crazy hormones make her do weird things. She never would have kissed him if she wasn't pregnant, she was sure of that. He was attractive and everything a girl could want but...they just weren't meant to be. She knew that. Her destiny lay dead and she determined she would simply remain single forever. Poe and her could play house in front of others but no one would have to know what their private life was. No one would really even care anyway. Rey stood getting ready to head to her tent, but the burning question she had been dying to ask him finally came to a boiling point and she couldn't hold it in anymore.

"Poe...you were there when Ben's ship exploded. Do you really think he died? I know that's a stupid question and no one could have survived that explosion but it's just something Palpatine said...it makes me wonder..."

Poe knew he had a choice to make in that moment. Should he tell her the truth about what he saw? That Kylo wasn't the one in that fighter? Or should he lie to protect her? He looked down and messed with a hole in his pants for a moment, thinking.

"Rey..." he began. But sighed and stopped.

"It's okay...I know he's dead, you don't have to explain...it was stupid of me to ask..." she looked away sadly and walked back to her tent before Poe could decide what to tell her. He wanted to tell her the truth, to give her that small bit of hope and see her happy if only for a brief moment...but he feared she may try to contact him again and put the entire resistance in danger. Or worse yet try to go find him. What if something happened to her or the baby? He would never forgive himself. He knew how reckless she could be and it just wasn't a good idea. He decided to continue to let her think he was dead even though he was nearly positive he had made his escape that day. Rey's happiness just wasn't worth her safety.

That night, Rey lay in her cot and desperately tried to see Ben through the force. She knew he was dead...but that tiny sliver of doubt in her mind was enough to make her try one last time. But it was strange, every time she thought she could nearly feel him, it was as if she was pushed back into her own mind by an invisible shield. Like there was a strange boundary that she just couldn't break through to feel him. She supposed this must be what happened when you died and chalked it up to that. She stopped after a few minutes and lay there frustrated. She supposed it was real...she would just have to move on and figure out how to live without him...

She placed her hands on her belly where the baby was moving around almost excitedly. She wondered if it could sense her using the force. How weird it must be to be a tiny baby and feel something in your mind like this and not know what's happening. Well she would explain everything to it when it got older. Teach it everything she could about using the force properly and for good. This tiny being was all she had left of Ben and she would treasure and love it unconditionally. A single tear rolled down her cheek as she lay there with her eyes closed feeling her baby kick around in her womb.

"It's going to be okay," she whispered out loud. She didn't know if she was talking to the baby or herself.

"Everything's going to work out somehow."


	32. Chapter 32

Rey had just hit month eight of her pregnancy and she could feel it. Her belly was very large, her feet were swollen more than they weren't, the acid reflux was unbearable, and she was getting very uncomfortable. She could not believe she still had another month to go. There's no way she could make it that long...

Leia had given her a recipe for a special tea that would help draw the fluid off her feet but the bad thing about that was she was up half the night having to pee. Which she already did an abnormally high number of times a day. This baby was just getting too large for her small body. Rose always rubbed her belly when she saw her and told her how beautiful she looked. She told her how her skin was glowing and her hair looked healthy and on and on she would drone. Rey knew she was just doing it to make her feel better...but it kind of worked. Finn had calmed down a bit and they could at least be wishing proximity of each other without getting into a screaming match. Poe had been the biggest help, rubbing her back and feet whenever she needed it, making her plate when she couldn't get up, even holding her hair when she got sick a few times. She didn't know what she would do without her friends. She would truly be lost without them.

"I'm going walking!" Rey yelled over to Poe who was working on a fighter. He nodded to her and she grabbed her staff and took off by herself. The walking seemed to help her muscle aches as long as her feet weren't too swollen on occasion like today. She felt pretty decent overall and decided today would be a good day to explore just a bit further off than normal. She had come to know this landscape and surrounding area pretty well and felt confident walking a ways away from camp. She may have this belly sticking out but that didn't mean she couldn't take care of herself.

She walked out away from the camp following the same path she had taken many times before. It led around a large rock formation that she had been around numerous times. She used her staff as a walking stick and was nearly halfway around it when she heard something behind her. She turned her head and saw two hooded figures in long robes walking behind her.

Shit. Come up with a plan, Rey. She knew she had to remain calm and think of what to do and fast. She couldn't go back the way she came or she would have to walk right past them. She couldn't out run them in he state she was in. She may be able to fight them off but she'd like to avoid confrontation if at all possible.

"Hey, baby!"

"We just wanna talk, come here!"

They called out to her. She gripped her staff tightly and walked faster, beginning to feel adrenaline pumping through her veins.

"Don't be afraid sweetheart!"

Rey turned around angrily, holding her staff defensively, "leave me alone!" She said loudly and clearly. When she turned, they must have noticed her belly finally.

"Someone's already claimed this one, Jay."

"Wait a second! No way! Rey?!"

Rey furrowed her brow, very confused. The men stopped walking towards her and took their hoods down so they didn't appear as menacing. Rey looked them over but neither one looked familiar.

"Who are you?" She called out, not lowering her protective stance.

"We were stormtroopers. We turned on Kylo Ren. We'd had enough of his ruthless ruling and fought alongside General Pryde to try and overthrow him. We narrowly avoided being caught after the other troopers caught up with us. I think we may be the only survivors."

No freaking way. These two men had been part of the attack on Ben that had nearly ended his life before he came to her for help. She couldn't let on that she secretly hated them for it. They couldn't know she cared about him. She lowered her staff a bit but still kept a tight grip on it as they walked over to her.

"Well...in that case I better thank you," she said calmly. As they got closer she could see them better. One was tall and lean with black hair, the other shorter with red hair and freckles. Both of them fit from their years of being troopers.

"I'm Jay," the black haired one said, "and this is Red. We've named ourselves obviously, as troopers don't even get the privilege of being named when they're taken from their families."

"It's nice to meet you both," Rey said cordially. They seemed nice enough but she still had a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach. The red head spoke up this time.

"You helped us get the motivation to do something, you know. You helped show us we didn't have to be pushed around by Ren and we could stand up for ourselves."

"Oh...well...I'm glad I could be an inspiration to you..." Rey said awkwardly, "um...I really should be heading back. My friends are waiting for me and they'll worry..."

"It's his baby isn't it," Jay said expressionless. The question caught her off guard and she felt her heart begin to pound.

"Oh...this baby? Ha no, no...this is my friend-boyfriend I mean- Poe Dameron's baby. And mine of course-"

"You know we can't let this child live," Jay said seeing right through her horrible lie. He stepped up so he was closer to her and spoke quietly while his red headed friend looked on with a weird expression on his face.

"We know where your camp is and as soon as that baby is born, it needs to be destroyed. We can't have another Kylo Ren in this world. Even if it wasn't your fault it was conceived...I won't allow it."

Rey grit her teeth together. This man was threatening her innocent unborn child. She knew she had to refrain from using the force to try and remain hidden from Palpatine...but she was so tempted to choke this man right now...

"You're not laying a FINGER on my child..." she growled up at him. He looked a little taken aback but quickly recomposed himself and stared into her eyes fiercely. Red spoke up this time.

"You want to keep that monstrosity? Even knowing what it's father was?" She heard the other one say. Rey looked around the tall man over at Red.

"It's an innocent baby that is going to grow up good, call it a monstrosity again and see what I do to you..."

Red faltered a bit and glanced up at the taller man. Obviously Jay was the leader here and Red just followed suit.

"Don't threaten my friend." Jay said angrily.

"Don't threaten my baby!" She said loudly into his face. He took a step back.

"Hey what's going on here!?" Rey heard a familiar voice. Oh thank God...Poe. Jay stepped back away from Rey and held his hands up in a 'you win' sort of way. Rey remained scowling at him. Poe came to stand beside Rey as the two backed away a bit more from the two of them. Poe kept a hand on the blaster on his hip.

"They bothering you?" Poe asked Rey without taking his eyes off of them.

"Yes. They are."

"We were just leaving!" Red called out grabbing Jays arm and trying to pull him away. At first the tall man wouldn't budge and stared at Rey with hatred. But finally he relented to his friends pressure and turned to walk away. They both pulled their hoods up as they walked.

"What was that about?" Poe said finally relaxing a bit. Rey realized how tightly she had been holding her staff and relaxed her grip. The two of them started walking back towards camp.

"Rogue stormtroopers. They know this is Ben's baby. They said they would destroy it as soon as it was born."

"I thought stormtroopers were on his side?"

"Not these ones. They tried to kill him."

Poe snorted and made an approving noise. Rey shot him a dirty look.

"I mean...how horrible of them..."

Rey rolled her eyes.

"Rey, you need to get somewhere else. It's almost time for you to pop this kid out and it's not safe to do so here. Those won't be the only two people to threaten to kill this baby. And now that they know and they are both here on this planet with us? They are going to get others on their side. The resistance is strong, but we don't have enough people willing to fight right now. People are afraid. And the few we have right now aren't all going to be willing to risk their life for Kylo's kid if they find out the truth, which they will if you stay."

Rey sighed, "I know...I've been thinking the same thing. I don't want my baby born here anyway. I'd rather do it somewhere more special to me."

"Please tell me you're not thinking about Jakku..."

"What? No I was going to say Ahch-To," Rey laughed, "I know I grew up on Jakku but I hated it there. Since I've seen so much of the galaxy now, I wouldn't ever live there again...but..."

"But what?" Poe said sighing.

"I would like to visit one last time. I'm sure other scavengers have rummaged through my stuff and taken everything...but I think it will let me say goodbye properly to my past. Maybe give me some peace. Plus I can't explain it but I feel like something is pulling me there. Like I need to go there one last time for something..."

They walked in silence a minute before Poe spoke.

"If you want to go back, I'll take you. But we can't stay long and I want you to stay as hidden as possible while we're there."

Rey smiled, "thank you. I promise we will be careful and quiet. We can go straight to Ahch-To afterwards if you want."

"Fine. But we are also bringing Rose. I don't want to leave you alone on Ahch-To until the rest of the resistance can get there. I still have to reprogram all the tracking devices. The only ship safe to take at the moment would be the Falcon and I'll have to convince Chewy to let me borrow it."

"Deal." Rey grinned. She would be so happy to get to the cool, rainy atmosphere of Ahch-To to have her child. She hated the heat anymore and it just made her feel more nauseated the longer she was in it.

The next morning Rey was packed and ready to go. She just had two small crates, her rucksack, and her staff. She wouldn't need a tent as she could just stay in the ancient houses that were on the island. She was excited and beyond ready to go. Rose seemed to be excited as well and both of them were loaded up on the Falcon in no time. Poe was going to fly them, then return the Falcon to Chewy, and come back in about two weeks when Rey should be closer to delivering. He insisted he wanted to be there to help when the time came. Rey assured him she would hold this baby in as long as she could but thought it would be running out of room soon. She promised to contact him if labor happened early though and he seemed happy with that.

Before she knew it, they were on their way to Jakku.

"Remind me why we need to go here first?" Rose said. She was excited to get to Ahch-To and explore. She didn't want to see another hot, dry planet ever again if she could help it.

"I have to make peace. I can't explain it, I told you. I just know it's where we need to go first."

"Oh right...the whole force thing. Do you often feel pulled to places like this?"

"No, honestly. This is different than anything I've felt. I think once I can see it one last time and say goodbye for good I'll feel better."

"Okay, fair enough," Rose said and left her alone about it after that.

Poe remained focused on flying and once they approached the desert planet, Rey got this excited feeling in the pit of her stomach. This was familiar and comfortable. She knew this place. She hated it...but she knew it. They landed after Rey guided Poe to Niima outpost. She threw a shawl over her head and arms to cover herself better. She was sure she would have some enemies in these parts that would love to catch her in a vulnerable state like this. She grabbed her staff, Poe made sure his blaster was fully charged and on his hip, and the two of them walked off the ship. Rose has volunteered to stay on board in the cool air conditioning while they walked.

Rey led Poe to the center of town and she nearly grinned as she saw all sorts working hard to make their living here. She had made it out...she didn't have to grow old here like she had so feared years ago. She was free of this life...

"What are they doing?" Poe said looking at a table full of people scrubbing random ship parts.

"Cleaning parts to exchange for food. None of those parts are worth much though...they may get a quarter ration if they're lucky..." she trailed off getting distracted by the nearby shops. She had never been able to afford anything from them. She always had to buy food when she had anything spare. She walked by them all, glancing at all the trinkets and survival gear these poor people tried to sell. The vendor at the end was selling handmade knives and Rey was so tempted to get one as a small reminder of this place. But she didn't. Maybe she did want to forget this planet after all...

She walked them to the outskirts of the outpost and looked off into the distance.

"About a mile that way was where I lived. I was in an abandoned At-at. It wasn't much but it was home. I wish I could go get my old pilot doll I made...but I'm sure someone's stolen or destroyed it by now."

"Hey!" They both turned quickly towards the voice. Rey's heart sunk, it was Unkar...her old owner and junkyard master of this town.

"How dare you show your face here again! And come back on the ship that you stole from me!"

Poe gave her a questioning look and she shrugged her shoulders and shot him an awkward grin. Poe rolled his eyes and stepped up.

"Listen, were leaving in just a minute and will never come back. My friend here just wanted to see her home planet one last time."

"I don't give a damn what she wanted, that's my ship! She owes me and will pay either by giving me the ship back, or in blood!"

"Whoa, whoa!" Poe stepped up towards the ugly creature, "there's no need for violence! We can work this out! Why don't you just let me get back to the ship and I'll pay you for your trouble!"

"Ha! You think I believe that?!" Unkar motioned for a few of his cronies to come over to him. Rey knew and hated these guys. Personal body guards and thieves that would take food straight out of a child's mouth and not even blink. They were thin and wrapped in robes and cloth like most of the people that lived here in protection against the sun and sand.

"Poe we need to go," Rey said quickly.

"Get them boys! I want them tied up and my ship taken back!"

"Poe, run!" Rey said and grabbed him as she took off as fast as her swollen belly would let her go. Her shawl fell off as she ran but she didn't dare go back for it. Poe fumbled with his blaster while he ran and finally used it to aim a few blasts behind them. It seemed to slow the men down some, Poe and Rey smiled at each other as they ran back towards the Falcon. But a split second later, Poe hit the ground hard, his blaster flying away from him. Rey slowed her run and looked behind her. Poe had a rope caught around his ankle. She stopped in an instant and gripped her staff tightly. She ran back towards the men, yelling out in anger as she approached them. She swung her staff as hard as she could and caught one of them in the ribs. He let out a yelp of pain and fell to the ground holding his side. Another man came up to her side and she jabbed her staff at him catching him in the stomach. She prepared to swing at another but suddenly arms grabbed her from behind and the guard pulled her staff up under her own chin, holding it tightly against her throat.

"Poe..." she coughed out desperately, unable to draw a full breath in. Poe was struggling to get the rope off his ankle, but was quickly pinned down by the man Rey had hit in the ribs.

"Get the rope!" One man said to another one and came towards Rey with it intending to tie her while another one began on Poe, bonding his ankles together. Rey grit her teeth together and closed her eyes. She had no choice, she would have to use the force now. She concentrated hard, tapping into all the rage she felt against these men, and suddenly boom! It was as if an explosion came from her and every surrounding guard went flying ten feet away. She picked her staff up and gasped to catch her breath. The guards lay stunned and scared for a minute, looking around at each other unsure if they should go back after them.

"Get them you cowards!" Unkar yelled at them.

"She's just trying to scare you-ahhh!" He suddenly yelled and dove sideways out of the way as a shot from the blaster narrowly missed him. Rey looked over at Poe who's nose was bleeding now from the impact of his fall, but he looked just as confused as she did. They both looked behind them and a tall hooded figure was the one holding the blaster Poe had dropped. The thieving guards scrambled to their feet and a few of them ran off, but three of them decided to take on this tall man. As they ran at him, the hooded figure looked at Rey and held out his hand.

"Staff!" He yelled. She couldn't explain why, but she instantly threw it to him, even though it was her only form of protection and she had no clue who this man was. She knew she had to do it. As soon as he had the staff in his hands, he tossed the blaster to Poe who caught it, but by the time he had taken the ropes off from around his ankles and stood to aim the blaster at the men, the hooded man had fought all three of the guards off, leaving two of them unconscious in the dirt and the other one bleeding badly from his head and limping off. Rey stared in awe. She hadn't seen that good of fighting skill since...no she didn't let herself think of it. As soon as they were safe, the man threw Rey's staff back to her. She caught it but continued to stare.

"Thank you..." she said incredibly.

"Yes, thank you...what's your name?" Poe said. The tall figure walked over to Rey and stood in front of her. Rey looked up into the shade of the hood and saw familiar eyes. Eyes she thought were of someone dead. She reached up and pushed his hood down. His hair was messy, face dirty and sweaty, and facial hair needed trimmed. But it was Ben. Her Ben Solo. She began to breath a bit hard, feeling the tears well up in her eyes. She brought a hand up to his face as if to see if this was real and not just some mirage. He placed his hand on top of hers and stared at her as if trying to communicate everything he couldn't say with his mouth through his eyes.

"Ben..." was all she could manage out before the flood gate of tears opened and spilled out down her cheeks.

Her sadness turned to anger quickly at the thought he had let her grieve over him and said nothing. Not a word. How dare he not tell her he was still alive! She thought for weeks he was gone! She had mourned him! She pulled back and pushed him hard in the chest, catching him off guard and knocking him back slightly. He looked a bit surprised.

"Ben Solo where have you been?! And how dare you make me think that you died!" Her voice shook along with her hands, "You have no idea what you put me or your mother through!" She cried. Ben looked down, obviously ashamed.

"I wanted to tell you, Rey, I swear. But I couldn't risk using the force. I want Palpatine to think I'm dead and if I tried to talk to you through the force-"

"He already knows your still alive! I didn't believe him and...God why didn't I believe him?! And you!" She turned to Poe who backed up a few steps eyeing her staff she still had in her hand.

"You knew he was still alive didn't you!? I asked you! And you didn't say a word of what happened!"

"In my defense, you didn't really give me a chance, Rey! You wanted to think he was! And now that he's not...fuck...well..." Poe ran a hand through his hair.

"It's not his fault, Rey. I wanted it to look real so no one would question it. And it worked didn't it? We're back together now so let's drop it and move on."

"I can't just 'drop it' Ben! You could have told me! Either of you could have!" Frustrated tears continued to fall down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry..." Ben said unsure of what else to say. She tried to hide her face and wipe the tears away.

"Let's just go..." she said finally said to Poe and began walking towards the Falcon.

"Where are you going?" Ben asked following. Poe quickly answered this time.

"None of your business."

Rey raised a hand to him to calm him down.

"Poe, this is his child too and he has a right to know. I'm going to Ahch-To to have this baby. It's not safe on the planet we came from, which by the way, I met two ex-storm troopers who tried to kill you there."

Ben looked surprised.

"Did they threaten you?"

"Of course they did! They want this baby dead the minute it's born so there wouldn't another you in the galaxy!"

"Well...how did you get away? What happened?" Ben pushed her more.

"Poe saved my skin again just like he always does."

"Can I come?" Ben asked. Rey stopped and turned towards him. Poe spoke before she could even get a word out.

"And put the entire resistance in danger?! Absolutely not!"

"I'm not with the first order anymore!" He tried desperately to reason with Poe. "I faked my own death just to get away from them! I'm on your side!"

"Oh well excuse me if I don't just take your word for it!" Poe stepped up to him, "last time I saw you I had been taken prisoner and kept in a cell! And the time before that I was beaten and interrogated, so my trust in you is close to none..."

"Listen, I'm sorry for everything I've done to you both...I can't stay here. This place is horrible. I promise I have no contact with the first order and won't tell a soul where Ahch-To is! Please, Rey..." he looked at her with deep, sorrowful eyes and took her hands into his own.

"You know I'm changed now, and I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was alive. I was waiting until it was safe. Please...don't let me miss the birth of my first child..."

Rey felt how sad and desperate he was. He was being honest...she knew that. She was mad at him but she also didn't want to leave him here on this God forsaken planet to starve. Rey looked over at Poe.

"Oh, no." Poe said, "no Rey, you're not actually considering this."

"Poe, we have to...we can't leave him. He'll never survive here."

"A little harsh, but-" Ben interrupted.

"No, Rey! He's not coming and that's final!"

An hour later Ben had packed all of his essentials up in a rucksack and they were on their way back to the Falcon. Poe and Rey were a little ahead of Ben talking quietly.

"I can't believe we are taking Kylo Ren with us to the last safe planet in the galaxy. The one place he didn't know how to get to, he will now know how to get to. You had better be right about him Rey."

"I am. I wouldn't put everyone in danger if I didn't think he was honest. He was a mile away from the resistance for a week or so on the other planet and that would have been the perfect time to strike but he didn't. He wants to be good, I know it."

Poe shook his head and jogged up ahead of Rey to open the door to the Falcon. He ushered Rey in and when Ben came up to board the ramp, he put his arm across his chest to stop him. Ben looked sideways at him.

"If you try anything, I mean ANYthing. I will shoot you no questions asked. No matter what Rey says, I don't trust you."

"That's fine, you don't have to. But Rey does and I promise you I will never hurt her or any of her friends again."

Poe looked him up and down and after a tense moment moved him arm to let him board.

Rose had been playing around on a data pad in the co-pilots seat. Not paying much attention to her surroundings. When she heard footsteps coming in she looked up.

"Hey Rey. Did you find what you were looking for-" she froze when she saw Ben putting his stuff down out of the way.

"Umm...I thought he was dead...what's happening right now?"

Rey spoke as she settled in, "he faked his own death to get away from the first order. He's coming with us to Ahch-to to hide and help me have this baby."

"Oh...um...okay...just real quick...have you lost your mind? Your going to let a mass murderer stay on an island with literally just you and I on it? Do you think that's a good idea?"

"Hes going to help us and protect us, Rose," Rey argued.

Rose gave Poe an 'are you really allowing this' look. Poe shrugged in response.

"I tried to reason with her but she won't listen. She insists he's on our side now," he said. Rose stared at him incredulously.

"I really hope she's right..."


	33. Chapter 33

Poe got them safely to Ahch-To, arriving just as the sun was beginning to go down on the beautiful planet. As they disembarked, Rey couldn't helped but feel a bit sad and nostalgic. There would be no Luke there to greet them or give them a hard time. Just the empty shell of the ancient house he had once lived in. The four of them unloaded what they could put on their backs and Rey led them up to the old Jedi stone huts

"Doesn't it feel SO good here?" Rey said as they dropped their stuff off by the small stone houses.

"It's better than the last few planets that's for sure..." Rose said out of breath. They each chose a respective hut, Rey picking one closest to the firepit, and Rose picking one a bit further back. Poe said he would just be staying in Luke's old home until morning where he would head back to the resistance for support.

Ben put his stuff in a hut near Rey's, not trying to start a war while Poe was still here. He figured he would have to patch things up with Rey a little anyway before she would want him close again. After everyone was all unpacked and settled in, Poe started a fire in the fire pit nestled in the side of the hill and began to cook for them. Ben was the first one out there to join him and immediately began to help.

"I can handle it," Poe said gruffly not looking at him. Ben ignored him and continued to unpack the plates and silverware out of their container.

Poe watched him from the corner of his eye. Why was he trying to help? Did he feel obligated? Was he trying to impress him?

"You know, helping make dinner isn't going to make me trust you..." Poe said stoking the fire. Ben glanced over at him, then back to his work.

"I know that. But I'll be here taking care of these girls by myself and you need to see I'm capable of doing so before you leave," he said calmly. Poe certainly couldn't argue with that.

Rey came out a minute later and came to sit by the fire.

"Whatever you're making smells heavenly, Poe," she said grinning at him. He grinned back at her.

"It's a secret," he winked. Rey turned to Ben.

"Poe is a really good cook. One of his many talents he uses to help the resistance," she smiled taking a seat on the stone. Ben awkwardly smiled at her and didn't say anything. Rose came out a few minutes later and the four of them sat around the stone fire pit and ate. Ben sat off by himself as the other three talked loudly and excitedly about anything and everything they could think of. He got that sad sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach he used to get when he was a child and no one would sit with him to eat lunch while in Jedi training. He had grown used to loneliness by now but watching Rey interact with her friends made him feel kind of...sad. Sad that he never had that. He wasn't outgoing enough, nice enough, good enough...

"What do you think Ben?" The question caught him off guard and he suddenly had to pull away from his dissociative state.

"What?" He looked around, lost.

"Come over here and sit with us! You're one of us now," Rey said. He glanced at the other two. Rose was grinning politely at him and Poe looked down quietly and ate more food. Ben scooted so he was sitting much closer to Rey now.

"We were saying if we would be able to eat a porg...do you think you could?"

"I...I guess if I had to I could."

Rose dramatically yelled 'no!' And Rey started laughing.

"You're telling me you could look them in their big, adorable eyes and kill it, then eat it?!" Rose stared at him, obviously astounded.

"If it's between me starving or eating a porg, I'm going to eat one," Ben answered honestly. Rey was still laughing uncontrollably, Poe even looked as though he was hiding a smile. Rose continued to make heartbroken noises as if she couldn't imagine a person doing something so foul.

"Forget the planets you've destroyed. THIS is the real crime here," Rose declared. There was silence for a moment then they all burst into laughter once more. Ben smiled, trying to contain his own amusement. Rey elbowed him in the ribs slightly.

"It's okay you laugh you know," she looked him in the eyes playfully.

Ben felt so strange. He'd never had 'friends' before. These people were talking to him, joking with him even. He knew he didn't deserve such treatment. And he was sure Poe felt the same as he had remained quiet this entire interaction.

"I'm pretty tired...I think I'm gonna go to bed," He said quietly. Rey gave him a disappointed look.

"But we want you to stay with us, we're having a good time."

"Yeah Ben," Rose spoke up, "you can't stay 'Solo' your whole life."

As soon as she said those words, Rey and her burst into laughter once more. Ben internally cringed so hard.

"I think somebody spiked your drinks," He said standing getting ready to go. Rey grabbed his hand and he looked down at her. Rose was practically dying of laughter still in the background.

"I'll come say goodnight in a bit," she said quietly. Ben nodded, he knew Poe was watching from the corner of his eye. He took one last glance at Rey then walked back to his respective hut and pushed his make shift door closed.

He felt...weird. He wanted to stay outside by the fire, joking and laughing, having a good time with Rey...but it didn't feel natural to him. He didn't understand why they would actually WANT him to be there with them. Nobody ever WANTED him to 'hang out' with them. So he retreated to solitude like he always did. He set up his pallet on the ground of the cold stone hut and lay down on top of it. He was lost in thought wondering how he would ever get used to this life when he heard a slight tapping at his 'door'.

"Come in," he said mindlessly, knowing it would be Rey. He sat up in surprise when he saw it was actually Poe.

"Hey um...can we talk for a minute?" He asked kind of awkwardly. Ben nodded to him and he took a step in but stood by the door looking uncomfortable.

"First of all, I really appreciate you saving Rey and I's skin's back on Jakku, we would have been screwed without you, seriously. Second, I am willing to give you a chance because Rey, for some reason, seems to really trust and care about you. And third, I think we both need to be honest with each other...about everything."

"I can agree to that," Ben said calmly.

"Okay, good," Poe looked around. Ben could tell he had specific topics in mind. He decided to speak first this time. It was time to get everything out in the open now.

"Look...those things I said while I had you captured on my ship...Rey being tied to my bed and stuff...they weren't true. I tried to force myself on her once, yes. And she threw me against a wall for it. The deal we made to let you two free was a dirty one, I admit. I wasn't thinking clearly, I had never had any feelings for anyone before, and I know I handled it wrong. I asked for her forgiveness shortly after and for some reason, even though I didn't deserve it, she forgave me. She knew it was eating me up inside."

He gave Poe a minute to absorb everything then continued.

"I think you should also know that we were...together...a few times after that. Both sides consensual. I told you I wouldn't hurt her and I'll keep my word on that. I care about her. More than I think she even knows."

Poe was staring at a spot on the wall, seemingly lost in his own thoughts. Ben remained quiet until he could process what he had said. After a long minute, Poe finally spoke.

"I'm going to be honest with you, I still have my doubts about you. But I also have to believe that you are going to keep these girls safe when I leave tomorrow. They are like sisters to me and if anything happens to them I swear I-"

"You won't have to worry about that," Ben assured him. Poe finally looked him in the eye.

"Man to man I promise to protect them. And that baby. With my life if need be."

They seemed to hold eye contact for a longer moment than usual, then Poe finally nodded.

"Okay...alright you get this one chance. I'm going to be back in a week with supplies and I promise you don't want to make me regret leaving you here unattended."

Ben could appreciate Poe's anger, but it was unnecessary. He wouldn't hurt anybody else unless it was in defense, he had promised himself that.

"Okay...that's all I wanted to say..." Poe said awkwardly and quickly rushed back out into the evening air.

That may have been the strangest encounter Ben had ever had with another person. But he felt...better. Lighter somehow. As if getting Poe to give him a chance was some kind of accomplishment. And in a way he guessed it was.

*********I'm so sorry I'm slowing down writing these chapters! I'm back in school and so busy nowadays! I wanted to add this chapter to kind of establish relationships and have a setting for the upcoming ones so forgive me if it was kind of boring! Better stuff to come I swear! :) **********


	34. Chapter 34

*******Here's your warning people, this chapter has very graphic sexual descriptions in it, and lots of dirty language, if you don't like it, I suggest skipping it! Enjoy! ;) ********

Rey actually did come knocking at his door a few minutes after Poe left. He ushered her in and she closed the make shift door behind her and came to sit in front of him on the floor with a little effort. Her belly made it hard to bend down very well. Ben felt a little strange swell of pride. That was HIS baby in there. His heir and legacy.

"I know, I look huge and gross," Rey said catching him looking at her belly.

"You look amazing, Rey. Honestly," he said looking her up and down really well for the first time since their reunion. She smiled and shook her head.

"You don't have to flatter me. I know I look like Bb8."

"You do not look like Bb8," Ben said seriously. "You look pregnant. Like how women are supposed to look when pregnant. And honestly you still look a bit skinny to me. Have you been eating well?"

"Oh first you don't care enough to tell me you're even alive, now you're worried about me eating? Do you care about me or not make up your mind?"

"Of course I care about you!" He replied quickly, "you know it wasn't safe to let you know I was alive."

Rey looked at the ground ashamed of her accusations and temper.

"Sorry. It's just the hormones..."

"No, I'm sorry. I know you're just worried..." Ben said quietly.

Rey looked up at him, "I'm sorry I got so mad after you saved us and considered not bringing you here with us..." she said tearfully.

"I deserved it," Ben answered truthfully, "but you were right...I don't think I would have made it on Jakku...that place was horrible."

Rey laughed a bit, "believe me I know."

There was a moment of silence between them.

"You know..." Ben started quietly, "you didn't greet me the way I asked you to..."

He stared at her as she exhaled through her nose in what was a half attempt at a laugh.

"I can't jump that high right now."

"Then do it on the ground, come here," he grabbed her hands and she obediently climbed up to straddle his lap. Ben's hands ran up her sides and over her belly where a tiny foot promptly kicked him.

"Whoa," he said yanking his hand back startled.

"Yeah I felt that too, I think the baby's happy to have you here," Rey grinned. He grinned back then leaned in for a small gentle kiss which she happily obliged him in. He began to deepen it but Rey broke them apart and put her forehead against his closing her eyes. She could feel he was beginning to get aroused and there was no way she was going to do anything right now with everyone awake and Poe a few feet from the hut. No, they would have to wait.

"We can't right now," she whispered to him.

"We could..." he breathed out, his hands sliding down her back, around her bottom, and digging into her hips.

"No, Ben," she laughed quietly, "if you don't want Poe to kill you, I suggest we wait until he leaves."

Ben moved in on her neck, leaving a trail of hot kisses down to her collarbone while Rey hands tangled themselves in his hair. Her hips rocked slightly against his. What was it about this man that made her so crazy? She didn't know all she knew was he made her feel so good...

"Come help me a minute Rey!" She heard Poe's voice call loudly from outside. Ben pulled away from her neck and sighed.

"See? We can't," she grinned and slid off his lap. He remained sitting but helped Rey to her feet.

"Night," she shot him a sly grin and walked to the door making sure to shake her hips a bit more than normal. She saw that hungry look in his eyes one last time before she closed the door.

Rey helped Poe put a few things from dinner away then he sat at the fire and Rey sat next to him. It was dark now, Rose had decided to go to bed already and Ben had remained in his hut the whole time. Rey glanced over to it and wondered if he was asleep already too.

"I don't want you going in there tonight," Poe said, seeing her glance at it.

Rey stared at him a minute.

"First of all, I didn't plan on it. Second of all, who do you think you are? I'm a grown woman I can go wherever I want," Rey talked quietly so as not to wake the others.

"Yes but we don't know his full intentions yet. I'm staying up all night to keep watch. I want to trust him, but I just can't yet. So believe me I will know if either of you try anything."

"Yes father," she said sarcastically, he stared at her.

"I'm trying to protect you and your child, Rey. What if he sneaks in your hut and does something..." Poe's face turned slightly pink, "inappropriate to you? Or what if you go in and wake him up and he kills you on instinct or something? No, you're to stay in your own hut tonight." He made it sound as though he had the final word and there would be no arguing with him about this.

"What do you think is going to happen when you leave?" Rey said after a minute of contemplating.

"I think Rose is going to keep me updated and make sure you two aren't alone."

Rey shook her head, "Wrong. She's not here to spy on us for you, she's here to help me birth this baby and keep me company. If that's what you wanted her to come for than you can take her right back with you-"

"Calm down please, Rey. I don't want to fight about this, I'm only worried for your safety you know that."

"I don't know Poe, what I'm hearing right now is that you don't trust Ben, which I get, but you also don't trust me! You don't think I can take care of myself and you think Rose is here to be our babysitter and keep us apart. Well it's not going to happen that way!"

"Keep your voice down!" He said urgently.

"You know what, why don't you just leave right now? No need for you to stay the night, I'm not going to obey your stupid 'rules'...And if you keep acting like this, don't plan on being part of this baby's life!"

With that, Rey stood up and angrily stormed off to her hut. When she got down on her pallet she had made on the floor, she instantly felt guilty about what she had said. Poe had been one of her only true friends throughout this whole thing and, yet again, she had let her anger get the better of her. She sighed and placed a hand on her belly and thought to herself how much trouble she was in when this child got older. Her and Ben's tempers were both terribly short to say the least. This kid would be hard headed to put it mildly. She sat still a few minutes, considering going out and apologizing to Poe. But eventually she heard the Falcon start up somewhere near the beach, and quickly fly off.

Ugh, great. Poe actually did leave. Now she really felt horrible. She wished she could call him back, explain herself and why she was so frustrated. Everyone made her feel like she needed taken care of and she most certainly didn't! She had taken care of herself her whole life, she didn't need a babysitter. She loved Rose and was happy she was here, but if she was placed here as a babysitter well...then she would rather be alone.

A weird feeling washed over her and she recognized it as Ben using the force to see her.

"Is everything okay? I heard arguing then the Falcon leave," he said. He was sitting as well, the force had placed his projection directly across from Rey.

"Yeah..." Rey said staring at a stone wall, "actually no. Everything is not okay Ben. I said some mean things to Poe because he was treating me like a child and he left. I don't know when or even if he's coming back and I feel horrible. I just want to be treated like a normal human being for once in my life..."

"You know he's just worried about you, who wouldn't be? Out of all the men in the galaxy you chose me...literally the biggest threat to him for years. He's going to have a hard time with this."

"I know, I understand that, but he doesn't have to act like my father. I haven't had one my whole life and I don't need one now."

Ben stared at her carefully feeling the sadness coming from within her.

"Rey-"

"I mean I get that he doesn't trust you, but he doesn't trust me now? We've been friends for quite awhile now and for him to start treating me like this it just-"

Ben didn't think she would ever stop talking, she was going on and on so quickly he couldn't keep up. That's when he decided to shut her up. He grabbed her face and pressed his lips firmly against hers, effectively silencing her. He pulled back.

"Rey, you need to let him worry and try to protect you. It makes him feel useful."

"But he 'forbid' me from going into your hut or being alone with you, Ben. He practically said Rose was here to babysit me!"

"And you need to let him think that. Rose is a heavy sleeper, obviously, she hasn't woken up through any of this, and you and I can sneak off and be alone whenever you want. I'll find a way, I promise."

Rey looked over his face as if seeing if he was serious.

"Okay. Okay fine I'll play along with his stupid game." She was quiet a moment.

"I will too. I'll be respectful and not make him uncomfortable. But when he's gone...you belong to me." Rey looked up at him, he was leaning in closer, his face now inches away. The air around them had changed. It was thick now...Ben was practically radiating his want for her.

"If I say you will walk into my hut naked, you'll do so." Rey was mesmerized by his words, staring him back equally intensely as he spoke.

"If I say I'm going to fuck you until the sun comes up...you better be ready and waiting for me. If I say get on your knees, you'll do as your told. Do you understand?" He lifted her chin with his fingers.

"Y-yes," she could hardly speak, she felt that annoying throb in her groin that meant she was getting turned on and only Ben could help her.

"Tonight...you're going to respect Poe's wishes and we're going to stay in our own huts."

Ben helped her lay back into the pallet, her eyes seemed to be mesmerized by him.

"Then you're going to take your hand," he moved his hand onto her leg and slid it up her thigh until he reached her center.

"And your going to move it like this," his fingers made quick circles around her sensitive spot and her hips arched immediately, a sharp gasp coming from her.

"You're going to do that while you think of me having my way with you. Do you understand?" He continued rubbing.

Rey made a small noise as she enjoyed his fingers bringing her waves of pleasure.

"mhmm..." she managed out. His hand stopped and he pulled away. Her body ached in protest. She wanted him to do it, for him to bring her her release, not herself...she grabbed his wrist and tried to pull it back into position.

"No," he yanked it away, "I told you, you're going to do it. Not me."

"But, Ben I-"

"I thought I made myself clear?" He raised his eyebrows at her. She sighed and grabbed his hand again in frustration. He grabbed her wrists and held on tightly. Little waves of pain and pleasure shot up and down Rey's body.

"You'll do...as I say," he said in no more than a growl. His eyes said don't test him, but Rey's body said to go for it.

"Okay," she said, "fine. I'll do it myself. But you..." she sat up and Ben released her wrists, staring at her intently.

"Have to sit in your own hut...alllll by yourself. Knowing that I'm in here pleasuring myself wishing it was your hand touching me," she pushed him backwards and he lay back propped up on his elbows, watching her with those dark eyes she loved so much.

"Wishing you were bringing me all this pleasure..." she reached over and rubbed the noticeable bulge that was growing in his pants.

"Wishing you were deep inside me..." she began to undo his pants. Her hand slid in and she watched his chest rise and fall quickly now.

"And what I want you to do...is to grab yourself like this." Ben's sharp intake of breath as she grabbed him was enough to let her know she was doing this right. Her hand felt so small around it, the flesh nearly burning hot against her palm from the increased blood flow. She wondered briefly what it would taste like.

"And I want you to move your hand like this..." she agonizingly slowly moved her hand up and down the length of him. His hips arched just as hers had as he struggled to control himself in her grasp. As suddenly as she started, she stopped.

"Do you understand?" She shot him a sly look.

"That's not fair," Ben said.

"Oh, it's perfectly fair...if you won't give me pleasure, then I won't give you any either."

Ben stared at her a moment as if debating on what to do. Rey climbed back into her pallet and slid her pants off.

"Now if you don't mind, I've been given special orders and I intend to finish what I was told to start.

She drew her legs up and slid her hand into her underwear, moving her fingers around slowly, her body happy once again that it was getting this attention it so craved. Ben seemed unable to move or look away from the scene before him. She figured he had probably been taken by surprise that she would do such a thing. She made a very dramatic show of touching herself, moving her hips around, raising her shirt and touching her swollen breasts, making small moaning noises. She had to admit it must have been quite good as Ben hadn't taken his eyes off her. He had, however, moved his hand to his own member and was stroking it slowly and intently while he watched.

Rey was enjoying making him want her...she liked to see him like this.

"Keep rubbing," he said. She realized she had been distracted looking at him and had slowed her pace. She picked back up again and ran her other hand all down her baby filled womb and thigh.

"Take your underwear off," He demanded. Rey bit her lip and raised her hips long enough to pull them down and kick them off then got right back to work. Ben had a full view of the show now. Rey felt so exposed and naked. It excited her and made her only want to please him more. This was unlike anything she had ever done before.

"Put two fingers inside yourself," Ben's voice shook a bit as he spoke. Rey could feel his excitement buzzing all around her. She did as she was told and dipped two fIngers into her hot, wet sex. She had never put fingers inside herself before and the feeling was almost strange and foreign. She moved them slightly, exploring herself like she never had before. She found as she curled her fingers up, she hit a spot of pleasure that made her body tense and squirm.

"Now take your fingers out and rub yourself again," she heard through her ecstasy. She did so and the hot, sticky feeling of her own juices on her outside just made her more excited. She rubbed a bit quicker now. Possibly more turned on than she had ever been in her life.

"Ben please..."she spoke quietly.

"Please what?" He asked calmly, but his breathing was becoming ragged, his own hand working feverishly.

"Please come fuck me...please...I need you so badly..."

"No...fuck...you're doing this yourself," he breathed out hard. Rey's hand moved quickly, her body wanting to finish so badly, but she wanted Ben to be here in person with her.

"I need you inside me when I finish Ben..." she could no longer control her thoughts or what she was saying anymore. Her body was electric, she no longer cared what Ben wanted, she wanted to be selfish for once. Her legs and hips were squirming, her body demanding release soon or she would surely die.

"Why do you...want me...inside you?" Ben managed out through his own ragged breathing.

"I want you to feel me finish...I want to squeeze every last drop of cum from your cock while it's deep inside me..." her face turned pink, she had never spoken such dirty words before and frankly she didn't know what was happening to herself.

"Fuck, Rey..." Ben hissed, his hand pumping himself harder and faster now.

"Come fuck me, Ben please...please..." her hips were arching, she rubbed faster, her wetness making it easy. She began to feel her orgasm start and couldn't stop the small noises coming from her throat as her back arched up and her hips angled back.

"Fuuuuuck! Ben! Ughhh" She cried as her fingers worked her over the edge. Her toes curled, eyes closed, breathing short and choppy as she hit her peak.

A primal noise from Ben told Rey he had finished himself. Her hand slowed, and she breathed hard as she came down from her high.

"I fucking hate you," she teased quietly, her breathing starting to even out now. She looked over to where Ben had been and his projection was gone. She was left to ride the dulling waves of pleasure alone.

Fuck she hated him. She was madly in love with him...but she absolutely hated him. Her pregnant body was tired now, her hand nearly cramping, her hips aching...why couldn't he just have come in and done what he was told? She pulled her underwear back on and pulled a blanket over herself. She would save yelling at him for tomorrow...right now she needed sleep.


	35. Chapter 35

Rey woke up fairly early the next morning. It was a bit chilly and she quickly dressed and wrapped a blanket around herself as she left the hut to pee and get some water to wash with. As she was returning from getting her pail of water, she saw Rose coming out of her hut.  
“Morning!” Rose called out to her.  
“Morning...sleep well?” Rey said panting and struggling to drag the water to the fire pit.  
“Pretty good yeah. Got pretty chilly last night huh? Where’s Poe?”  
“Oh, I um...think he left really early,” Rey said setting her bucket down and walking over to the fire to get it going. The two of them chatted for awhile while Rey got her water nice and hot and Rose began preparing breakfast. Ben finally came out of his hut and jogged over to the girls, leaning down and kissing Rey on her head, then stretching his arms and back out.  
“You’re in a good mood,” Rose said, “also why don’t you have a shirt on?”  
“I’ve been stuck on hot planets too long. I’m not wasting this weather, I’m going for a run.”  
“Please don’t break your ankle, Ben,” Rey said looking up at him, “it’s not exactly great running terrain...”  
“I’ll be fine...besides. I wanna feel the island out. See what resources are available and stuff.”  
“Stay away from the cave, Ben.”  
“I will.”  
“No listen to me,” Rey said firmly staring him in the eyes, “don’t go down there. That place is dark and you won’t find any answers there. I’ve told you once before.”  
“Rey, I promise I won’t go near it, you have my word.” He kissed her cheek and rubbed her belly.  
“I’ll be back in a bit.”  
With that he took off jogging. They watched him for a moment and then turned back to their tasks. Rose looked a bit confused.  
“What’s wrong?” Rey asked her.  
“I don’t know it’s just...strange seeing him act so human.”  
“Why? He’s not some alien creature, he’s Leia’s son. He was normal before Snoke got ahold of him. I think it’s good he’s getting more comfortable around us.”  
“Oh, yeah, no, it’s totally good he’s acting normal, trust me. It’s just weird to see I guess. You always picture him with these long black robes, and that sinister mask, with that deep creepy voice...and out he walks in loose pants without a shirt on and his hair all messy.”  
Rey laughed, “I guess it does have to be strange for you.”  
“Yes, thank you!” Rose said putting food on a plate for her. The girls ate and Rey poured some of her hot water into a smaller basin and walked to her hut to wash. The sun was starting to get higher in the sky now so it was a few degrees warmer. Still, she washed quickly and changed her clothes as it was still a bit cool. She felt much better afterwards and dumped her water out behind her hut.  
“Hey Rose?” She called putting to her friend.  
“Yeah?”  
“Will you wash my hair for me if I get everything ready?”  
“Of course!”  
So Rey set up her basin filled with more hot water from the bucket, sat on the lower part of the stone pit, and dipped her head back so Rose could wash her hair in the water. It felt amazing to have someone else scrub her head for her, she was leaned back enjoying the hot water when they heard the sound of aircraft near by. They both looked up and saw the Falcon coming in to land on the beach. By the time Poe had walked up to the huts, Rey’s hair was done and back in her normal three bun fashion. Rey stayed quiet and busied herself dumping the water out and rinsing the breakfast plates off.  
“Hey! Back so soon?” Rose greeted him cheerfully, unaware of the fight between her two friends last night.  
“Hey Rose, yeah I had to come back for just a few minutes. I left a few things in Luke’s hut and I have to give Rey something.”  
Rey looked behind her and saw Poe holding something in his hand. Something very familiar she never thought she would see again.  
“That’s...that’s my doll,” she said quietly, tears stinging at her eyes.  
“Yeah, I had a hell of a time finding it, you were right, all your stuff had been gone through but I guess no one thought this was useful enough to steal.”  
Rey walked over to him in shock and he handed the doll to her. She looked it over incredulously, then hugged Poe so closely and tightly it nearly knocked him over. She felt tears running down her cheeks and wetting his shirt collar but she didn’t care.  
“Well I...I just thought that maybe you would want to...pass it on, you know...to your child,” Poe said sheepishly, obviously not really understanding her emotions right now.  
“Thank you so much Poe...I’m so sorry I said those things to you last night,” Rey cried quietly into his shoulder.  
“It’s fine...I know I was coming across as kind of a jerk but I just worry about you.”  
Rey pulled back and wiped her eyes, looking at her doll again. She just couldn’t believe someone had done something so nice for her.  
“I brought some other stuff too,” he said putting a rucksack Rey hadn’t even noticed down in front of them. Rose opened it up and started going through it.  
“Is this for making clothes?” She asked holding up a long length of brown material.  
“Yes! Thought you guys may get bored and need some new looks so...managed to snag you some fabric while I was on Jakku. It was super cheap.”  
“Oh my gosh this is going to be so fun!” Rose said pulling the different colors out to examine them. Rey smiled at Poe.  
“I can’t thank you enough,” she said to him.  
“It’s nothing...I just wanted you to know I really do care about you and the baby. It’s not that I want to smother you at all I just worry...”  
“It’s fine, honestly. I appreciate it.”  
“You think Ben would like this color? I could probably make him some pants out of this,” Rose said holding up a shade of dark blue, “or a shirt since apparently he needs some of those...” she said under her breath. Rey laughed.  
“Yeah I think he would actually. He’s only got all black right now so any color is an improvement honestly.”  
“Where is he by the way?” Poe asked looking around.  
“He went for a run. Can’t have a body like that sitting around doing nothing I guess,” Rey said sitting down on the stone again.  
“I mean just look at me,” she grinned.  
“You look fine, Rey,” Poe reassured her.  
“I guess I should go. There’s a few small things in there besides material you guys may need. I grabbed what I could. I’ll try to come back in a week and check on you. If you need me sooner PLEASE contact me Rey, seriously. I will come right back no matter the time. And if you start having contractions tell me immediately! There’s a data pad in that bag that only makes calls directly to the resistance ship so no one can track you here. So stay in touch, okay?”  
“I will, we’ll be fine Poe, seriously. I think Rose will be busy for the rest of the week so I’ll just help her with that and we’ll lay low. I promise if anything happens with the baby I’ll call you first thing.”  
“Thank you,” Poe said in relief. He grabbed his bag out of Luke’s hut then began walking back to the ship, “bye Rose!”  
“Bye Poe, Rey what about this color?” She said not even looking up at him as he left. Rey smiled, oh well at least they had something to occupy their time now.  
Ben came jogging back about half an hour later, sweaty, skin red from exercise, and out of breath. He slowed to a walk as he got close to the huts and came to sit beside the two girls who were separating fabric and going through buttons and snaps.  
“What’s all this?” He asked breathlessly.  
“Poe came and dropped some stuff off, we’re going to make some clothes,” Rey smiled at him then continued button sorting.  
“Actually I’m glad you’re here, I need to get some measurements from you,” Rose said standing and pulling a measuring tape from the pile of assorted stuff.  
“Me? Why do you need mine?” He asked pushing his sweaty hair from his face.  
“Because you need new clothes, stand up,” Rose demanded. Ben gave a questioning look to Rey but she just smiled and shrugged her shoulders.  
Ben stood and let Rose measure him.  
“My god, I don’t know if we have enough fabric to make this man clothes...” she said to herself. Rey laughed. Ben looked uncomfortable.  
“Lighten up, Ben. She’s joking.” Rey said coming to stand by the two of them.  
“I don’t like this,” Ben said.  
“Oh hush, I’m almost done, now lean down a bit,” Rose scolded him.  
“No...I mean, I don’t like you wasting supplies on me. I have clothes already, you should be making stuff for the baby,” Ben said.  
“We have plenty, don’t worry,” Rose said.  
“Yeah plus we want to wait and see what it is before we make too much.”  
“What do you mean ‘what it is’ it’s a baby.”  
“Ben, you know what I mean.”  
“I don’t think a newborn baby is gonna care what color it’s pajamas are...” he said bitterly. Rose spoke up this time.  
“Ben, you’re getting at least one new pair of clothes and that’s final now stop giving us a hard time!”  
Ben pursed his lips together but remained quiet and still while Rose finished.  
“There, done,” Rose said a minute later.  
“Ben I brought some water up you can use to wash with if you want,” Rey said nodding her head towards the half empty container.  
“It’s fine, I’ll go down and wash and in ocean. I’m too hot right now anyway so it will help cool me down.”  
So he grabbed some stuff from his hut and jogged down the hill towards the water.  
The girls stayed busy preparing the fabric to begin making clothes. Rose got up at some point to stretch and looked out into the horizon.  
“Oh my God,” she said suddenly and turned back around quickly, her face turning pink.  
“What?” Rey asked quickly, worried something might be wrong.  
“I just saw your boyfriends whole naked body. Please give me soap, I need to wash my eyes out,” she teased. Rey stood and looked down to the beach. Ben was indeed standing there stark naked, drying his body off after apparently getting done washing.  
“Stop watching him you peeping Tom!” Rose scolded her laughing.  
“It’s nothing I haven’t seen before...” Rey teased.  
“Oh my God, please stop,” Rose’s face was bright red and she was nervous laughing now.  
“Are you jealous?” Rey laughed, jokingly pushing her friend.  
“No, if anything I’m scared! Like I figured it was above average because he’s so damn massive but Jesus Rey!”  
The two of them joked and laughed for a few more minutes as Ben came walking up over the hill with clean pants on.  
“What’s so funny?” He asked, hanging his towel and other pants up by the fire to dry.  
Rose and Rey made eye contact and broke into laughter once again. Rey got up and put an arm around his side.  
“Next time you wash, maybe you should pick somewhere a bit more private,” she said quietly and patted his back. He seemed to think for a moment, an embarrassed half grin on his face as he realized what had happened.  
“I saw more of you than I ever wanted to,” Rose laughed. Ben shot a wink to Rey and walked over to Rose, leaning down close to her face staring her in the eyes.  
“Don’t worry, I know how to use it too.”  
Rose seemed to be in a state of shock as she stared right back at him, mouth agape, no longer laughing. Ben walked away and Rey began laughing.  
Rose looked at Rey holding her chest.  
“What...what just happened? Did he just...joke?” She looked at Ben, “was that a joke?” She asked loudly.  
Ben just shrugged and went back to his hut to put his soap away.  
“Holy shit, does he actually have a sense of humor?” Rose seemed stunned and paused for a moment.  
“Also was that like...really hot or was it just me?”  
“Why do you think I keep him around?” Rey raised her eyebrows. They both started laughing again. The three of them enjoyed the rest of the day, laughing and joking and just being three normal humans enjoying each others company. Rey had never felt so happy in her life as she did that day. To see the man she loved and cared for be able to relax and be a normal person again...it was more than she could have ever asked for in her wildest dreams. The more she watched him, the more she saw his father in him. It was really quite sad as she knew Han must have been such a fun father figure to grow up around. And obviously Ben had looked up to him if he had taken on some of his mannerisms. It’s just a shame Ben had been so wrapped up in impressing Snoke that he did what he did. Rey couldn’t think about that scene too much, she had seen it many times over in her nightmares and didn’t wish to see it more than that. She pushed it to the back of her mind and pulled herself back into the moment with her friends.


End file.
